Today i attended my consultation, can't believe...
Today i attended my consultation, can't believe how nervous i was for some reason i expected them to say no, but they went through my medical history and asked .. why do you want this? as i told him, I've been overweight for 15 years ever since my daughter was born by emergency c-section, then when she was 3.5 months old i found out i was pregnant again and due to medical reasons needed another section, depression set in and as the story goes i got bigger and bigger, well after a divorce, and finally meeting my sole mate another baby in and i realised i had to do something about it, I've now lost 4.5 stones and become a gym freak, but i have been left with a horrible apron which hangs, and a tyre around my waist and i was getting so low i spoke to my husband about this treatment and he was 100% behind me, that was until it all became real then he admitted he had fears, but today we spoke to the consultant who put both our minds at rest. when he examined me though he did say the fleur de lis procedure was the best for me due to the tyre around my waist, but would leave me with a vertical scar, as i told him i'm 36 and not doing this to look good naked or walk around in a bikini. i'm doing this to feel good and a vertical scar does not phase me (at the moment) so that is what i'm booked in for :o) i'm expecting a call on Thurs for a pre-op discussion and will be told when i need to arrive etc, so now i'm just counting down the days i feel like a small child near to Christmas again, my only fear is i have booked the recomended time off work ( 2 weeks) but my patient adviser told me in my line of work ( day nursery) she expects i'll need more time off but i will cross that bridge when i get to it. I will take before pictures on the day, hope this week goes quickly.
3 days to go and the nerves are setting in!
well i've finally broken up from work, i actually got emotional leaving in the back of my head i keep thinking what if i dont make it back? is it normal to worry about what if's or am i just being silly. i've wrote a letter for hubby just in case which omg talk about emotional. well today i've started scrubbing the house starting at the top and working my way down, as i've been told not to lift a finger for 2 weeks so i want to come back to a nice clean house, plus it helps the day go quicker, i feel like a child waiting for christmas morning and dosent seem to be getting any closer lol. I have taken my before pictures which was the strangest feeling ever. my hubby has seen me at my worst and it never worried me but since i've lost my weight i've never let him see the excess skin and asking him to take some pictures of me was heartbreaking it took me ages to drop the towel and let him take a picture i was nearly in tears. but was fine after a hug x but i've been asked to upload them on here but i seriously don't think i can. i think once the op's been performed and i can see my results i will be able to, but whilst i still look like that i dont want anyone to see them i've not even put them on the pc yet just incase anyone sees them and i've hidden the camera til its been done then i'll be proud the show the world!! i'm so excited as i count down the hours. so the next time i update my profile i will have had it done :o)
3 DAYS P O not sure how i feel?
hi, well its all done and theres no going back! I remember being fetched from my room and feeling sooooooooo excited, i gave hubby and kiss and a cuddle and practically ran to theatre. i answered all there questions and signed and was asked to follow them to the theatre, as i walked through the door i was hit by the blinding white of everything, walls,clothes, sheets and furniture i took a gulp and climbed onto the table the nerves were here! i had my venflon put into place and a mask placed over me and told to take deep breathes then that was that. next thing i know i'm waking up in a bed next to a strange man, i'm shaking with cold and in agony i remember him asking what your pain between 1-10 and i screamed 11, he gave me some morphine and i went back to sleep. i then awoke in my room with my hubby and i felt ok to be honest and sleep the rest of the evening. through the night i did have lots of pain, i wouldn't say excruciating but it was very uncomfortable i would agree with the comments about keeping up with your pain meds as once the pain does set in its a sod to get rid of. my first time out of bed was like running a marathon i walked up the hospital corridor with hubby and back but then went very lightheaded and nauseous so dont push yourself straight away. came home yesterday done exactly what they've asked which is nothing just little walks around the bed or sofa but i'm getting bored as no one else is here during the day hubby couldent get any time off work but i'm coping so far. i haven't gone down the i feel sorry for myself route yet, but theres still plenty of time i guess. and i still havent seen my stomach yet as its all binded up until next friday, i really wanna undo it for a quick look then fastern it but worried i might end up doing some damage lol but even through the binder i can see some significant changes especially the folds from by my hips that keeps me going
4 DAYS PO
felt great this morning after a good nights sleep, the kids came back from the grandparents, i was so happy to have them back that i may have over done the walking, after tea i was quite swollen and uncomfortable but them came the feeling i had been dreading!!! my tummy was rumbling and i needed a BM omg i felt like i was back in labour,despite taking lactulous since Thurs i was in so much pain and felt very lightheaded. and i swear i felt a pop followed by a god awful pain. well i got back into bed and taken my painkiller i am so sore and swollen feel like i'm back at square 1 and feeling very sorry for myself. hubbies trying to be positive but its not helping. i would def reccomend taking some stool softener as soon as! well i'm off to try and get some sleep and hopefully feel better tomorrow
VERY SWOLLEN TONIGHT
had a really good day to be honest, kids were at school so i just lounged about on the sofa under the duvet, at lunch time i decided a change was needed from soup so i made myself a sandwich and i know it sounds silly but it really took it out of me fetching things from the fridge and buttering hunched over i actually left the things on the side in the end i couldent face another trek to the fridge to return it. other than that i have felt great and even sat outside on the recliner in the sunshine helping the kids with their homework, but tonight i have swollen so much have had a look and i actually look pregnant its as if i've swallowed a football!! and i feel very sore, so i've taken some painkillers and i'm off to bed, but i can definately feel myself getting stronger each day thank goodness
one step forward and two back :o(
what i failed to mention in my last post was as i felt so well i had also helped my son hang the washing on the line, fold up clean laundry, and swept the front room too. so yes that explains the swelling, i ended up having a horrible nights sleep throbbing all over and the next morning still swollen, could hardly move and i was in complete agony. my hubby ended up shouting at me and ringing his boss and has arranged the rest of the week off to look after me. so i spent all day following advice from the forums and drinking lots and lots of water which was kinda a nuisance as i kept having to visit the bathroom upstairs every hour lol but by late afternoon the swelling had really reduced so i'm going to keep that up, but all my energy had gone i lay on the sofa all day only moving for bathroom breaks. woke up this morning and not feeling too bad but wont rush things as i got my review at the hospital tomorrow, cant wait to see my new BB, supposed to be going back to work Monday but i'm actually dreading it.
talk about about a roller coaster ride!
well its been a funny few days, rested all day Thursday drank plenty of water and had my Arnica to help the swelling as i was feeling pretty crappy, woke up Friday feeling as fresh as a daisy it was wonderful. went for my review at the hospital and when they removed the bandages i got to see the scars hhmmmm not sure they dident look as polished as i'd had hoped looked more hickildy pickildy if you know what i mean, but the nurse said they looked good so i'll believe her. she sed i'd swollen quite a bit so all she did was replace the dressings and tell me to come back next week so still no shower allowed!!! and shes asked me to have another week off work as i work with small children. but on a positive side i love my new BB. got back from hospital and felt so good i asked hubby to take me a walk to the local shop in the sunshine, got back and just pottered around a little not too much, but .... come 7pm bang the swelling set in and i was in agony and i acted like a little child and about 1am in bed i had a fit of tears asking hubby what did i do to myself??? I had the same amount of water but i did do a lot of walking so maybe that was the cause. anyway yesterday Saturday i sat around all day in the garden resting in the sun trying the conquer the swelling which did ease off in the afternoon and (sorry tmi) managed to have a good BM and felt so much better afterwards and even had a good nights sleep. woke up today Sunday and i feel fantastic! apart from the binder i wouldent think anything was different about me and just a slight swelling but i have learnt from previous mistakes and i've still taken it easy today resting alot and even had a sleep while the family watched a film which means hopefully i will still feel good tomorrow.
had another good day :o)
well woke up feeling really good today but promised myself to not over do it i need to let my body heal, so basically all i've done for myself is breakfast, lunch and mine and my sons tea, might do a little bit more tomorrow and build up. i cannot believe how good i feel. i'm still extremely swollen and look like i'm pregnant but i have been reading others reviews and the forums and i am prepared to wait as long as the pain and discomfort has gone. i even feel confident enough to add a few pics yippeee. there are 2 from before the op ( i must prepare you they are horrible) but who cares that body has gone lol, and the second are from the first week afterwards so please take into consideration i am heavily swollen plus the point of this op wasent to be skinny it was to remove that hideous apron from the front and both hips so i no longer have to 'lift' it up to dry after a bath ( when ever that maybe lol)
been feeling really well since my last review just lack of energy but i'll be honest i'm comfort eating so haven't really had any fruit and veg for a while but will get back on it next week. well this afternoon, you know you have one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong? todays my day. been getting more and more emotional and feel very silly, I even burst into tears because the gas fire wouldn't light, I wasn't even that cold. Well I'm at the hospital tomorrow for my review so hopefully dressings will be removed and I'm hoping they will say I can reduce the binder and wear my compression garment instead, that might lift my spirits.
finally showered :o)
well had my review at the hospital, bit disappointing that i dident actually see my surgeon had so many questions about the procedure, i saw the nurse instead she removed the dressings and said it looked as it should, don't know if i was imagining it but thats not what her face was saying especially when i pointed out one area close to the pubic bone that was really swollen and rock hard again she looked bemused but still said its normal and the swelling will last for up to 12 weeks. so i have to go back in 3 weeks, til then i can shower but still need to keep the binder on and no lifting or bending. when hubby came home i had my first shower in 17 days yippeeeee it was lovely the only sore part was holding my head back to rinse my hair and i felt my tummy pulling slightly but other than that having running water down my body was wonderful and i smell lovely lol i'll try and add the pictures of my scars in the next few days.
first day back at work ........ knackered.com!!!
well first day at work today and i was so nervous, first challenge was the walk to work its about a mile walk half of it uphill and usually takes around 15 minutes. i felt i'd gone hiking lol, and took just over 20 mins so not that bad, luckily my first duties were being on the interview panel for a position in the nursery so from 9am til 3.30 it was just sitting in a chair asking questions so i got chance to have little walks in between candidates and i was armed with my water and arnica to get me through by lunch i could feel the swelling starting gradually. at 4pm i was then needed to go back into the nursery my gorgeous 2 years olds came running up for cuddles screaming kellyyyyyyy as they had'ent seen me for 3 weeks that was a scary sight lol. by 5pm i was totally shattered and clinging onto the furniture for support as i was having to stand alot i cannot sit on the small nursery chairs tomorrow i may have to bring in a full size chair to keep me going. I'm worried i'm not ready for work yet but i work for the local authority and they are very strict i have no holidays left to take and i'm not one to take sick leave so i'll just soldier on and see how i go.
feeling good :o)
made a decision work wise and that was to own up to all my colleagues what i'd been through after lying down in agony in the staff room i decided they were too clever to fall for the "i have a bad back" story anymore, i confided in them all i've had surgery and they were wonderful, not letting me over do it and looking after me bless them and its made all the difference i've been able to take it easier and its made it so much better from wednesday i have been fine and today i felt great even managed to walk to the school and pick my son up from school after work, his face lit up when he saw me as i havent picked him up in over 3 weeks and that made me feel fab! the swelling is slowly reducing and i cant explain how happy i am, and i guess it can only get better :o)
bad night, but great day .....
had a really bad night last night, couldent sleep and when i did sleep i was having bad dreams. my legs were shaking which was kinda wierd and by 4am i'd had enough and went down onto the sofa and managed to get a couple of hours. when i woke up the swelling had gone down lots and i looked good lol, had a walk into town ( mile each way) did a little shopping them walked back, when i got back i felt like i'd walked 20 miles lol had some lunch then lay down for a nap when i woke up the swelling had reduced loads and this may sound stupid but ...... i kept looking down at my tummy as i looked sooooooooooo flat it was a wonderful feeling, felt really sexy haha :o)
stressed and swollen at the moment,
hhhhhmmmmmm well stressful few work days and i think they've taken a toll on my healing i'm swelling again which i really thought had stopped since the weekend, one of the parents actually asked me if i was pregnant tonight that was a heart stopper haven't been asked that since i lost all my weight :o( just fed up of the swelling, fed up of sleeping on my back even though i know the answer i still keep thinking was it worth paying 6 thousand pounds to go through this??? but i'm sure in a few months i wont ask myself that ever again. well at least i know one thing i feel a hell of a lot better than i did 4 weeks ago today lol
In a bad place at the moment ....
i'm so depressed at the moment, the healing is taking so much longer than i had anticipated, and i am a very impatient person anyway so i'm really stressing out. It dosent help that i'm struggling at work there are a few issues going on which are stressing me out but beside that i cannot really describe how i'm feeling without sounding cookoo .... i feel like my stomach isnt mine ... ( i did say cookooo!!) imagine wearing a backpack which is heavy but not wearing it on your back its strapped around your waist and its on your tummy and you have to wear it 24/7 and its so heavy and uncomfortable feeling like your carrying a foreign object around. the swelling is getting me down. i'm sooooooooooo missing sleeping on my side, having a long hot bath and having sex. I have actually been thinking has this actually been worth it?? ended up having a huge row with my hubby last night trying to get him to understand how i'm feeling so now hes really worried about me emotionally. well i go back to the hospital in 2 weeks and i'll have a chat with the staff and hopefully feel better ... well thats the emotional side dealt with, as for the scars omg they are healing wonderfully the scars have really faded and most the glue has fallen away and its looking so much better so can't moan about that at all.
quick update with pics
well i've actually had a really good day, the sunshines actually out!!! good day for short trousers and t-shirt took my son to the airport to see the planes. and i ddient swell up that much really thought after 4 train rides, 2 shuttles and sitting/standing around for a few hours but no i feel good woohoo ....... have taken a couple of pics to show how good my scars are looking so pleased with how they have healed :o)
what a lovely week :o)
well, this week has been a good week, i had a lovely Monday & Tuesday but dident want to post and jinx it but its now Thursday evening and i still feel great!!! the swelling seems to be down to a minimum, not much swelling at all. and today after nice long shower i thought i've seriously had enough of this binder and decided to leave it off and i just wore my CG instead and omg i felt fab, i wore it a few hours but i've put the binder back on to sleep in. I decided to try as the summer seems to finally be here and dont fancy sweating in that binder 24/7. i'll keep up with the arnica and plenty of water but hopefully i'm over the worst, yippeeeee
feeling great .... finally
had another check up today, she was so happy with the healing of my scars, she said they have healed up so well and apparently in 1 more week i can start using bio-oils??? i have a small scab in the T- area and once that has gona i can finally soak in the bath yippeeeeeeeeee i have been waiting so long for those words she said it should only be one more week. she agreed i'm still slightly swollen but compared to last time sooooo flat!! and it will only get better from here on in. i can start exercising but to start slowly and build up. i've had the most wonderful 2 weeks were currently basking in a heatwave which for once i'm bloody loving! i'm enjoying wearing my little shorts and tight tops whereas a year ago it would have been a baggy top to cover the bulge, i suddenly love summer!!!!!
another goal reached!!
well tonight we gave in and couldent wait any longer and had sex with my lovely hubby! and omg how sexy did i feel, even though i'm still slightly swollen in my head my tummy was so flat and loved it went hubby had his hands on my waist. and this still makes me giggle at one point i realised nothing was wobbling around haha, it made me feel amazing and on top of the world!!!!! got to say i am feeling so good at the moment. and with the heat at the moment i keep waking up in the middle of the night and removing my binder and not had any problems with it so far, i've been too nervous to go to work without it yet as i'm on my feet alot. what i might do is try this weekend without it and ease myself into having no binder and just the spanx if i can cope with spanx in this hot weather.
my 2 month update pictures
well i'm still feeling great, had a few days with no binder and just the spanx, i do swell more than with the binder but only towards the end of the day so all's good so far and really happy with my pictures
3 month review appointment.
well this evening i saw my surgeon for my 12 week review, he was extremely happy with the healing of the scar, told him i love my new BB so much, but i was about to ask him about my waist as i am disappointed in it, as it still seems quite big and flabby for what i paid, but before i got chance when he looked he immediately said oohhh i see your still quite swollen there and have alot of fluid retention weirdly that cheered me up lol i now know whats causing it and the doctor said it could take a year to sort out, apparently i will get smaller or bigger as the swelling goes on but exercise will help. he showed me a picture that he took as i walked in the theatre and my jaw hot the ground! i have some before pics on here but he took a full frontal shot zoomed in on my tummy and apron and i was huge!!!! i suddenly felt like a super model sitting in his office haha. he has cleared me to be normal, i can swim, return to normal in the gym and full duties at work and he dosent want to see me for 6 months unless i have any problems. so go me ..... what an amazing journey i have been on. the stress i went through getting the money together for the surgery, then the long healing process, the tiredness, the swelling, i put my family and some close friends through the ringer and lashed out at them quite alot for which i am very sorry i was not in a happy place at that time and without your determination to stick by me and show me your love i don't think i would have got out of that bloody depression as quick as i could .. if you do read this i mean you ....... Chris your my rock! Lauren for helping me with the boys, Emma for keeping my secret at work and fetching me out of hospital, Jane for having the kids, lending me the lounger/pillows to help me get comfortable, and the fact the op would not have happened at all without you! Mom thank you for helping me with the funds but also walking to mine every morning, lunch time and after work to make all my meals. thank you so much x x Dad for taking me to all my appointments that are based at a hospital 40 minutes away by car. I appreciate you all so much. I wont blog too much now unless anything drastic happens but i will def keep an eye on the forums x
EVERYTHING HAS GONE WRONG :(
as i mentioned i was not happy with the top half of my tummy it was still saggy and looked like a spare tyre, i dident want to moan but i was told he was doing the fleur de lis procedure to remove the tyre but would be left with a large vertical scar. i did not mind that at all as only me and hubby see my bare tummy but, everyone can see the tyre through my clothing. I went back to see my surgeon in February 11 months post op, i showed him the saggy tyre and he admitted he had not removed enough excess skin and could probably remove the same amount of skin as was removed before. i told him i could not afford the procedure again he offered to do it for free as he had not done it right. I was so excited at the thought of finally getting the results i wanted. I had the revision surgery in June 2014 and all seemed to go well. 5 days later i was in a lot of pain in one particular area when i attended my 1 week review i told the nurse this and showed her the area that was swollen and hard she said it was normal i also noticed once the dressing was removed another area that the skin was discoloured she said it was a bruise. 2nd week review was cancelled, next week review i told the nurses again and that the pain was more tender again its normal and will settle 2 weeks later i rang to make an app as my scar did not look right and was sore i could not get an app booked until 4 weeks away, so the next day i went to my local walk in centre to be told my scar was infected and was given antibiotics which helped and slightly helped the pain, over the following two weeks the swelling got worse and the pain was excruciating, i rang the hospital again explaining everything and was told there were no appointments available. in the end the pain was so bad i walked into the accident and emergency department at my local hospital and practically passed out, I was admitted straight away, the did an ultrasound and found i had 2 huge pockets of fluids that they guessed were infected. i had to have a CT scan to check the infection has not spread to my organs, luckily it hadn't, and blood tests showed that it was slightly into my blood stream but had been caught just in time not to get septicaemia, I was put on IV antibiotics and the next day took straight to theatre to remove the fluid and take away any damaged tissue. I have now been left with an open wound around 8 inches wide by my BB, i was in hospital for a week on antibotics, morphine and codeine, i was then allowed home but i am attached to a VAC machine that helps drain the wound and encourages new growth. i'm looking at months of having this machine 24/7 i have to carry it every where with me, and the district nurse comes to change my dressings every 3 days i cannot work for at least 12 weeks, we had to cancel our family holiday, I'm in constant pain and spent the majority of the day in bed as it doesn't hurt to lie down, i cannot sleep and when i do i have nightmares, I'm just so fed up and depressed, the worst part of it is I'm gaining weight as i cannot walk far all I'm doing is sitting and lying so I'm so scared not only has my tummy tuck been ruined i could also end up becoming overweight again. I have uploaded a photo of my open wound it is graphic so if you are sensitive please don't look.
put me at ease immediately, answered all my questions, was very informative and did not make me feel rushed at all.
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