Rhinoplasty: Stories

Hey all I recently underwent ethnic rhinoplasty 5/25/12 and am having the hardest time of my life. I don't think I have ever cried so much!!

*Background*
I'm 24 years old and have been wanting to get a nose job since I was about 10 yrs old. I was always thought of myself as moderately attractive looking girl with a cute smile. I have a fun, outgoing, goofy personality. I never thought of myself as ugly and wanted to get a nose job to compliment my looks. I wanted to look like me, but just a cuter version.

*Process*
I began my search in 2008, when I decided i would finally get the procedure done. I went to 2 consultations in Cali (where I'm from/live) and researched alot of surgeons. I was more than willing to travel and spend the money than have to get a revision done. I decided on a Dr. in Baltimore, who had worked on many ethnic noses and who I thought would give me the look I desired. I wanted bridge (didn't have much of one) a defined tip, and slight narrowing of my nostrils. I would have described my nose as kind of flat.

I flew to Baltimore, had my consultation and decided to go through with the process. My Dr. was very kind, patient with my questions, and made me feel comfortable. My Dr. also warned me that rhinoplasty was not an "event" but more so a process. That it takes time to heal and see my final results. Day of the surgery, my Dr. came to talk to me, held my hand and tried to make me feel relaxed. I went through the surgery, no major pain, and was prepared for steps following until........

CAST REMOVAL!!! When I looked in the mirror, I hate what I saw. There was no longer a bright lively looking girl, but some girl who look like she got beat up, and a ugly girl at that. My Dr. reassured me that it was swelling and it will go down. I was fine when I left the office, but from that point on, I have been a complete wreck!!!! I cannot stop crying. From my profile view, I have this Avatar nose connected to the forehead thing. and from the front, I have this poor man version of Squidward look. I look and feel so UGLY!!!!

I get back home and emailed my Dr. my concerns and again he reassured me that it was swelling and all part of a process. although my family is supportive, I live about a hour away from my family and they are tired of me moping around. I get "you should have done your research", "Why are you crying? this is what you signed up for", and of course the "You shouldn't have done it/ told you so" attitude. Trust me, I have done my research. I read blogs, stories, looked @ youtube videos, everything I thought I was supposed to do. But it is SOOOOOO different when you are the actual one going through it. I prayed about it long and hard, wanting to make sure I was making the right decision about getting the procedure done.

9 days Post op: As of today, I'm 9 days post op and still hate looking in the mirror. Still have the nose to forehead alien thing and my tip is VERY bulbous. I refuse to go out with any friends and won't even allow my best friend to see me. My friends hate that I got the procedure done because of what it has done to my personality. The once fun loving girl has changed because she is ashamed and embarrassed that everyone will be looking at her. Tomorrow will be my first day back at work, and I am absolutely DREADING it! I have to put on a pound of makeup (had to buy some, because I didn't wear it prior) wear glasses to try to cover my black eyes. I went to the salon yesterday and got bangs in a ploy to hide my face. I'm so sad and so depressed, that I cant stop crying. I took all my photos off facebook and took the pictures down in my house. Dramatic, I know, but I cannot stand to look at that girl that I used to be.

I look at some of my pictures and realize that I did NOT have to get the procedure done, that my nose was not that bad to begin with and I possibly spent almost $10,000 to make the biggest mistake of my life. Every time I look in the mirror, I think. "What have I done to myself"

....on a positive note, I have nothing left to be but optimistic. I'm optimistic, that with time and healing, it will get better. That this is a process and 'm going through the ugly frog stages of becoming a beautiful princess. I am hopeful and prayerful that I will be overly satisfied with my end results, and that I will be proud of this life changing decision I made. I want to say my Dr. did a good job shaping my nose (i think) and he is such a nice, well knowledgeable, caring Dr, and I do trust his skills. But this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. I will continue to write on this blog because it does help, me with the pain I'm feeling inside. I thought about posting pictures, but I think I might be to ashamed to show face. this is so tough to go through but I know This is a process and I'm going to take it 1 day at a time!