Wow, this website has been very informative. I have been thinking about BA for so many years, but never really had the support. So here's my story....
I have always been thin and petite. I didn't even menstruated until I was almost 16. I had my first child when I was 17, lost my virginity and got pregnant the same night. I weighed 91 lbs when I first got pregnant and the doctor told me I would need to gain as much weight as possible. I never really blossomed when I was pregnant, so never really considered to breastfeed. I gave birth to a healthy boy and life was forever changed for me. He was and still is my life. My milk really never came in until a week later. My boyfriend loved the way they looked, I hate to admit it but so did I. They really did not feel all that good, but as quickly as they came, they left. I longed to be fuller, but relied on the thought that they would develop overtime. Unfortunately, this never happened.
I would buy push up bra, after push up bra to look proportional. This only works when you are dressed. I would where them to bed and everything so he wouldn't notice. It didn't work. So came the internet,and all of it's helpful information. I researched, but knew I coulndn't afford BA. I then found magical pills and lotions that will give you breast. I was amazed, so of course I bought them. I tried several different ones, never became full but did manage to get cleavage. I can't even tell you how much money I spent on different pills and creams hoping that it would change my breast. Still I sag and push up!
Once again I become pregnant! This time my body prepares me and I grow breast! How exciting. I went from a 32 A to a 34D, they were beautiful. My husband (at the time) loved them. Gave birth to another healthy baby boy and decided to breastfeed. My body did not jump back into my previous jeans, like after my first child but eventually I got there. As my body lost weight so did my boob size. I didn' t want it to go like that. anyhow life goes on, so back to pills and creams.
Really wanted BA, but my husband was totally against it. My girlfriends were really going to do it and I got a lecture from him that night about how they must be sluts to want a boob job. I recall a phone conversation with his best friend before he introduced me. His friend asked about my appearance, looks and breast size. He replied "oh she's hot but small breasts. I need someone to do my dishes" then laughed. I was so upset but he said I was over reacting. This should have been a sign of the mental abuse I would receive, but I was young and longed to be married and have a father figure for my son.
I divorced him after he started to abuse my son. I found the man of my freams who finds me perfect the way that I am but I look in the mirror and do not see it. I see sagging breast. He is a gym man, he works out 3-4 days a week. I used to go with him when I didn't have the boys until I noticed my breast becoming smaller than before. There was hardly anything left. So I started to make excuses about going to the gym, or if I did go I would only work my legs. I have been keeping this gping for about a year now. I want to tell him but worry he will think I am shallow. After the years of mental abuse, it is hard for me to realize how good I have it now.
Last year, he bought us a trip to Vegas and I called a doctor I found on an older breast website. Had a free consult and talked to him about what I was looking for. He was great but his nurse seemed to be rude and a bit of a snob. She laughed at a picture she took of me, which really made my self esteem drop. The reseptionist was friendly and answered some more questions for me and set up a mammogram. The results were good, but I still did not feel comfortable with the nurse. I never went back or told my boyfriend about my appointment, he does not know anything except for my clean mammogram. He asked me to marry him June of 2011, I said yes but all I can think about now is wearing a wedding gown flatchested. So here I am again calling several other places, but didn't want to waist their time until I tell my him. I want him to continue thinking I'm perfect, like he tells me everyday.
I do not want to come out looking like a porn star, I just want to fill my empty cups. They sag from my pregnancy 11 years ago. I want to be able to wear a shirt without a push up bra that is more push up that boob. I need to feel and look like a woman, not a child.