Ever since I hit puberty my nose has been an issue...
Ever since I hit puberty my nose has been an issue. It has been something that has caused me a lot of emotional stress. The first time I was teased about its size was in 5th grade: I was waiting in line for my lunch and a student sitting across the cafeteria made a loud awful comment about my nose and all of his friends began to laugh. Since then I have been repeatedly teased about it at work and school or anywhere I happen to be whether it be shopping or picking up my little brother from school. Due to this constant teasing I feel incredibly self-conscious in public situations. It has affected me profoundly and for this reason I have decided to get a rhinoplasty. I want my nose to be proportional to my face. I want to be able to get a cup of coffee without the fear of someone publicly teasing me over the size of my nose. I want to fade into the background. I want to be average looking; I no longer want to be noticed simply for the size of my nose.
I am incredibly terrified about the procedure. I am a believer and I feel nothing compares to God’s work so I feel that even if I do get this rhinoplasty it will eventually have terrible side effects that I will not notice until two years from now. Like anyone else, I am also afraid I will come out of surgery looking worse than I went in. I’m afraid my frontal view will appear wider than it already appears, I am afraid one of my nostrils will be bigger than the other, I am afraid it’ll look crooked and I’m also nervous about the reaction my family will have to this procedure. However, aside from all my apprehension I am still hoping for the best.
It's been four days after my surgery and I'm a little worried about the look of my nose. I am not too concerned about my profile as I am about my frontal view. Of course I have not gone in to take my bandage of yet so I'm hoping it'll look more aesthetically pleasing once the bandage is of. What worries me the most at the moment is the elevated look of my nose. I feel like right now it is a little too elevated from the front (like it has the potential of resembling a pig like nose). Additionally, it feels like my tip is very swollen. It looks pretty wide . I was hoping for a narrower look (not pointy but a little more narrow). Hopefully, once I go in Monday February the 24th all my concerns will be answered. I think the waiting is the hardest part after a rhinoplasty.
Overall Experience so far...
The majority of the staff at personique was very cordial and supportive. The two primary doctors (Dr. Ersek & Dr. Buckspan) at personique were very professional as well (although they both have different techniques and approaches towards their patients).
Overall I am satisfied with the results of the rhinoplasty I underwent with Dr. Buckspan. I understand that I have a very difficult nose to work with. I know I am a Latina with a thick skinned nose so I had realistic expectations from the get go. All in all, the profile of my nose has been noticeably improved however instead of having a straight profile it has a bit of a scoop which Im not sure if I like yet... but it might just be a matter of getting use to. Additionally, the frontal view appears a little more rounder than I ideally hoped for (I was hoping for a more narrow look) BUT it is smaller than before. My nostrils have been slightly elevated which I feel is the hardest part to get use to and the part that I am the most apprehensive about at the moment. My bridge is A LOT more narrow than before and I am very satisfied with the way that looks.
Although I know and see it is a SIGNIFICANT improvement I am still not sure if sometime in the future I will be undergoing a revision ( to lower my nostrils and narrow my nose a bit more). It all depends on how well the swelling subsides in 6 months.
However I will say this, Dr. Buckspan made a favorable impression. He's very personable, soft spoken, professional and a true gentleman and of course a very good surgeon! So much so in fact that if it ever comes down to it, I will definitely be a returning patient.
I feel like I relinquished my mental health with this rhinoplasty. I have been emotionally strained for the last couple of days (since my bandage came off). I cannot sleep for the life of me. I'm even insomniac at times and when I do sleep I have terrible nightmares and sleeping paralysis. I think it's the impact of my new nose... When I look in the mirror most of the time I find my image rather traumatic to be honest just because it's different... I feel uncomfortable with my image and I'm afraid I'll only grow to abhor it as time passes by instead of the opposite effect. I'm even afraid of seeing my friends and family. I refuse to see them at least until a month after my initial procedure just because I profoundly fear their reaction to this nose.
Wonth be updating till a month from now
I decided to just stop writing updates for a while. So far I like my nose, today I saw myself with make up and I actually really liked the way I looked... so I like it. it's just an emotional and mental adjustment, specially for a person like me that's not very good with change. Anyways, I hope those close to me also like it as much as I do when they do finally see it (but if they don't oh well). I already decided I will not be having a revision in the future unless I run into any medical complications like a collapse or an asymmetry for some random reason.