19 Year Old, Happy and Guilty - Atlanta, GA

My name is Maya and I am nineteen years old. I...

My name is Maya and I am nineteen years old. I have always had a love/hate relationship with my boobs. They started growing when I was 12 and just didn't stop. My first year of college I shot up to 180 pounds, and my breast grew with the rest of me. I was petrified of my large 36 E cup breast. I tried to fit into DDs the entire year but it just wasn't cutting it. I've had DDs the majority of my life, even when I was 120 lbs. This summer I promised myself I was going to lose all of the weight I gained and lost a whopping 30 lbs! My breast went down a little be not enough. I got to 150lbs and I couldnt even run long distances without my back aching. It was during the Peachtree Road Race when my back was killing me so bad that I couldn't run anymore that my mom said I should consider the breast reduction.

I was so excited! The following month we scheduled the surgery and my insurance said they would cover all of it! I did a lot of research, found an amazing doctor, looked at ALOT of pictures of boobs and made my decision. As I began to get closer to the date I started to feel alot of anxiety and about the surgery. It wasn't until my pre-op that I finally broke down and cried. I read the contract and I had to sign off where it said that I knew that I may not be able to breast feed my children. As a nineteen year old, I didn't give alot of thought about children I may or may not have. I just want to wear cute clothes and run comfortably and to just feel good about my body. But as soon as I got in my car after I signed that paper I just cried and cried. I just didn't know if my decision was stupid and irrational. I immediately felt guilty, like I shouldn't get the surgery. Like maybe I'm being selfish for wanting the surgery to feel good about myself when some people suffer way more pain than I do. Some people have way bigger breasts than me, so why should I get the surgery. Why can't I just accept that I have big breasts? As someone that is constantly advocating for women to love their bodies and not change for anything, I struggled with why I wanted to get the surgery in the first place.

I just didn't know if I was making an immature decision or not. I spoke with many people about it who had many different opinions but the one I valued the most was one from my best friend. She reminded me how much I have always wanted to do ballet and contemporary dance but I have always stayed away from it because of my large breasts. She told me that I would finally be able to dance with confidence. Run marathons with my dad, hike with my sisters and just be the active person that I've always wanted to be. The thought of that makes me almost cry with joy. I realized that the reduction will give me a freedom I didn't have before. So I got the surgery on September 18, 2012 and everything went perfectly.

No drains, outpatient, and I even made myself breakfast the next morning. I am recovering extremely well and I am so grateful for that. I've never seen my breasts so perky, the surgeon herself called them perfect. My nurses were kind and listened to my concerns. I even had a heart to heart with my nurse (tears included) about how nervous I was to get surgery when I am virtually 100 percent healthy. Any complications would be my own fault for deciding on the surgery. She assured me that I was doing something that would benefit me more than it would harm me. She made me feel very confident going into the surgery. She even let my ecstatic mother take as many pictures and videos as she wanted. My surgery lasted 2 1/2 hours and payment was easy (except for a run in with Northside Hospital about some billing but hospitals always try to pull one over on you when they see you're paying nothing out of pocket). My surgeon even called me the next day to see how I was feeling. All I could do was thank her.

I am recovering beautifully but one in a while I still feel a bit of guilt. I don't know if it makes me less of a woman. I don't know if it makes me a hypocrite. But I am very happy with the results. I'm excited to wear cute clothes that don't cover my body. I'm excited to sit up straight and proud. I'm a busy body, an Aries, and a control freak so I've learned so much about the body's healing process, the importance of resting and letting others take control. I can't force myself to heal as fast as I would like, I just have to let it take its course. It's been a beautiful experience. I would advise taking vitamins, not succumbing to junk food just because you're in pain and going outside. Even if it's just to lay back and read, the sun and fresh air has really helped my healing process mentally and physically.

I've added some post op pictures. They're swollen...

I've added some post op pictures. They're swollen to a D right now and will go down to a small C cup with time.

Had a bit of a break down today. The recovery...

Had a bit of a break down today. The recovery process is a slow one an ample amount of rest and patience. Patience is something I've never possessed and getting enough rest never has come easy. It had been difficult today. I have to go to a class today to take a test and I'm nervous. I'm nervous about the drive and I'm nervous to go downtown with a lot of people being around me. Every time I try and study, I fall asleep. My body needs some time to rest after the trauma I just put it through and I won't allow myself the time. I'm anxious. Ready to move. Today I tried to clean up and I strained my side breast a little. It hurt and I just had to lay down, frustrated that I can't move the way I want. That I have to watch the days go by and god forbid I just relax and succumb to my body's cry for rest. I have younger siblings that just run circles around me. I wish they would just clean so I don't feel so worthless. Someone to wait on me and get my every need would be great right about now. I'm off the pain medication so that I don't sleep the day away. Plus the oxycodone makes me sick. I haven't cried, like really cried, during the whole recovery process until now. I'm in pain, I feel like I can't do anything and I'm tired. Still worth it? Yes. Yes, I'd think so.

I feel so blessed to have found this website and I...

I feel so blessed to have found this website and I should've gone on it sooner. Actually I read the stories on here before my surgery and just never felt brave enough to contribute.

Today is so much better thanks to family, friends and the uplifting people on this site.
Thankyou!

I GOT TO DRIVE TODAY. And it was awesome. I've...

I GOT TO DRIVE TODAY. And it was awesome. I've been getting a little cabin fever, even though I go outside everyday (no exceptions!), so it was nice to finally be self sufficient and out on the road. Granted, I only went to the grocery store down the street and my arms were very tired after the drive but I am so happy to get the freedom again. I get my tape changed tomorrow so we finally get to see how the incisions look. All in all, so far so good. This is the day I've felt the most normal. I'm working on being able to relax my shoulders and my arms when I'm sitting and walking around. Especially when I'm around many people. My subconscious is very afraid that someone is going to run into my new beautiful boobs! Until next time.

Goodmorning, ladies. I got my dressings taken off...

Goodmorning, ladies. I got my dressings taken off yesterday to expect new pics momentarily. I wanted to briefly talk about the depression that comes along with the surgery. Now it's certainly not for all women but it is important for me to remember that I just had a TRANSFORMATION and it is normal to be question myself. This is a big step for all of us towards lifting ourselves up (literally) and building our self esteem as women. Whether it is obvious or not the connection women have with their bodies is something that only we can understand. Our breasts are our lifeline to feeding children, they protect our hearts (even if we have a little TOO much protection), and I don't know about yall, but my boobies have gotten me a free thing or two. I just wanted to say, no matter how much pain they caused, no matter how "ugly" we thought they were, it is okay to miss them. It is okay to have second thoughts about getting the surgery post-op. It is okay to wonder if you have done something wrong. It's normal to be connected to your body and that is all it is, an intimate connection with yourself. If anyone is feeling that way I was I would suggest going outside and taking walks whenever you can, writing, reading positive stories, online shopping for all the cute things you can wear now, and relieve as much pain as you possibly can. It is often hard to be happy while in pain but try to accept it and think of the soreness and the random pings of pain as healing processes and there is nothing more beautiful than a woman's body healing itself. Good luck ladies, and good energy your way.

I went back to work today. I work at a spa so...

I went back to work today. I work at a spa so luckily one of the massage therapist came over and worked on the awful tension in my back and shoulders from sleeping on my back and being so tense in my shoulders during the day. It was amazing. Ladies, I recommend massage. It's not just a luxury event. It is important to take care of our bodies on the inside and out. Many people forget to take care of their muscles, but they are a part of out bodies too! Although everyone was raving about how skinny I look (YAY!) I really want to start back exercising. I feel like my breast are small now so my stomach is very noticeable. I'm not freaking out about it though, it;s just something I want to work on. I am exactly ten days post op and I feel great. I'm off all pain medications except when I started my cycle my breasts began to have a throbbing pain and I took some Tylenol. Funny how the body reacts when it realizes something is missing. I'm excited to start shopping and to not wear a bra anymore. I was the type of girl with big boobs that would walk around without a bra anyway because I hate them so much so I can't wait to take this stupid thing off. Though I'm not opposed to go sexy lingerie shopping! I hope everyone is doing well. Good energy your way, ladies.

New pics. :)

New pics. :)
Allison Maske

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
4 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait tmes
Was this review helpful? 2 others found this helpful

Comments (29)

Sort by

Girl you look great, can wait to get my drains removed so I can see my breast. Your healing looks good. Keep us updated!!!
  • Reply
Maya- you look AWESOME!!!! You go girl! Please continue to update us on your journey:) Also, I am in the Atlanta area so if anyone has any info to share regarding Dr's etc.... please let me know. I appreciate ALL info that anyone is willing to share. Personal stories are priceless when making big decisions like this.
  • Reply
Thank you for sharing your story with us!! You have no idea how much it can help others. I am soooo ready for this surgery. I am a 32G, if not larger. I stopped trying to find bras that work right for me. Now, I just "double bag"....I wear a bra and then wear a sports bra over it. Miserable:( I just had my first consultation today with Marcus Crawford. Now, we start reeling in the paper trail from all of my back/neck pain related dr visits over the years to prove to the ins. co. that I NEED this surgery. Fingers crossed and prayers sent up to the heavens that It gets covered and that the dr. does a great job so that I get the outcome that will restore my confidence in my appearance and (more importantly) will restore some good health to my top heavy body at 5'7" and 140 pds my 32G's have got to go!
  • Reply
you look amazing!!! seeing your pictures really gets me excited to start planning my surgery and get things going! thank you so much for sharing!
  • Reply
Hi Maya, it's great that you are healing so well, so fast! My guess is that your youth has something to do with it! It's so great that your insurance foot the bill, lucky you! I read you last couple of updates and, I have to say, you sound so much more mature than your 19 years! I love what you said about undergoing a transformation, and the need to recognize this and build our self-esteem!! Gosh, I had a hard time believing that these words of wisdom came from a 19 year old! Any way, congrats again to you, you look great and have a great attitude. I just want to caution you against doing too much, physically. You're only about two weeks post-op, and your body has a great deal of healing yet to do, so please take it easy and rest as much as you can when you aren't at work, okay? Continued good health to you, and hugs for you and your wisdom!!
  • Reply
Reading your posts are so encouraging. :)
  • Reply
Hey lady! Thanks so much for sharing your story- I really appreciate your honesty. I'm getting ready for my surgery on Oct 30th and it's really helpful to hear from other people who are going through the process. I have to say- YOU LOOK AMAZING! Your PS did an excellent job. I completely understand your comments about feeling a sense of loss- my boobies have gotten me a free thing or two as well :) But I'm pretty sure with those gorgeous new girls (not to mention your fabulous smile), you're still gonna manage some favors :) Keep us updated- I hope you feel better and better every day.
  • Reply
You are right. Anything we change for good or bad can cause anxiety/depression.when I quit smoking I felt like I lost my best friend I had 35 years and kept me calm in every situation...I actually viewed them as a personal loss..it takes time to bounce back and in both cases have to realize this is good changes!!!!.... the day comes we look back and forget we smoked or had big breasts!!!!...and we are healthier and happier!!
  • Reply
Thankyou! I'm so glad you can get something out of my experience. Good luck and happy healing!
  • Reply
Beautiful post Maya! So important to know this and I will think about it and probably re-read this after my surgery. I'm worried about hitting regret/depression afterwards so this is so sweet and helpful -great suggestions and so positive. I can't thank you enough. You look wonderful!!
  • Reply
Hi Maya, Which Dr did you use? I am in Atlanta also and was just curious. He did a great job.
  • Reply
Dr. Allison Maske at Atlanta Plastic Surgery. She's amazing.
  • Reply

Sounds like you are doing great...and you look wonderful! Congrats!
  • Reply
driving YAHOO!.nothing like being able to go if you feel like it,,good for you,so glad to see you recovering so nicely!
  • Reply
Glad to see you're feeling better! Your reduction looks great! Hope you continue healing well! Best of luck!
  • Reply
Hope you're recovery is going well! I too have a lot of the same concerns as you did as it gets closer to the time. I keep second guessing myself. It's relieving to know you're not alone and that others have the same thoughts!
  • Reply
Great to hear all these stories. I am also in Atlanta and went for my initial consult yesterday. Just waiting to hear back from the insurance company. I really hope they will cover it. I am a 38G and want to be a C / D. Good advice on the getting outside and eating right. Its all too easy to pig out to make you feel better.. I do it all the time and wish i hadn't afterwards.. I hope you are feeling good and get to do all the stuff you wanted to do today.
  • Reply
your not super woman,you need to rest.! so you can heal. I learn the hard way if I keep going I will fall and nothing els will matter except getting well. Take any help you can get and please rest,,moving along so quickly does you no good at all.!.. Resting is what your supposed to be doing. I hope you feel better quickly but only to be happy not to RUN AROUND!..xoxoxoxo
  • Reply
Congrats on your decision! I am 35 and I was still scared and unsure if I was making the correct choice. I am 2 weeks post op now and I know I made the right choice.
  • Reply
I am glad you have this post. I have been the web for recent surgeries. My day is 10/03/12. I am extremely nervous but I am so ready! Many blessings to you with your recovery. Be blessed. Thx again!
  • Reply
Hi and congrats on your decision and surgery! Like Natalie said, you are lucky and brave to have done this for yourself while you are still young. I really never considered the surgery until this year, the year I turned 60! I had my surgery 5 days before you. Think of all the more comfortable years you have ahead! You really do need rest, as much as you can. It's hard, but it will be worth it in the end. Take care and best of luck!
  • Reply
Wow! Happy recovery to you! And you're right, it's going to be awesome once everything heals I'm very excited. I guess the healing process is an emotional one. Thankyou so much for your kind words and encouragement. Best of luck to you as well!
  • Reply
im actually really glad you posted. i'm 20 years old and i find it hard to relate to some of the stories i read because most of these women are older and had already had kids. knowing that other younger women like me out there are getting the procedure and having the same issues i did makes me feel more comfortable continuing the process of researching the procedure. thank you! and i hope you start to feel better soon!
  • Reply
Hi Alessandra! I felt that way as well which is why I eventually decided to write. You can ask me whatever, whenever and I'll help as best as I can! Good luck on your research. :)
  • Reply
I couldnt agree more with Natalierw! I think you should be very proud of yourself. You decided on having this done for yourself and for your health and wellbeing and you went through with it. Be proud of yourself! Congrats!
  • Reply