ONE YEAR 350CC GUMMY HP hmmmmmmm

Okay I have anxiety pretty badly so this is...

Okay I have anxiety pretty badly so this is extremely hard so far.
I have had my appointment with my surgeon,he was very polite informative and confident. He has been doing this for over ten years and not one bad review I found online so I hope I picked the right surgeon.. Any tips on how to calm down a bit? And be just excited???

Thank you guys for the comments already! I am...

Thank you guys for the comments already! I am still ridiculously nervous about this and wonder if I am making the right choice?
I am 28 and have always hated my smaller chest. (34B) Everyone in my family seems to have too much and I feel like I have nothing!! People joke around about my empty chest but it seriously makes you feel like your 12. I am super sick of clothing not fitting me and I went to Mexico last year feeling pretty shitty about myself while spotting topless girls at the beach...way to make you feel even shittier about yourself! I couldn't buy any cute bikinis except the $50 (top only) from VS with a stupid amount of padding which was pretty embarrassing when you walk out of the ocean a pound of water comes flowing out of your top lol those bikinis just absorb all the water! This year I am going to Mexico for a friends wedding and can't wait to actually feel like an adult!!
I am trying to get things ready before my surgery but I feel so over whelmed with everything that needs to get done, not to mention taking 4 weeks off work since my job is psychical.. Man I hope no one notices when I go back to work. Did anyone else worry about people noticing you all of a sudden have boobs? This is ridiculous but I have been wearing 2 bras so they look bigger and hopefully after surgery they will be around the same size without having to wear a pound of layers lol.
10 Days away.......omg!!

I have been obsessed with reading EVERYTHING on...

I have been obsessed with reading EVERYTHING on this site today and I forgot to mention.. I am 28 5'2 110lbs 34B , HATE the pair shape. Hope I can get a nice hourglass shape after this surgery. I am way to scared to post a before picture, I will see if i ever get enough courage but I don't know about that one. A bikini one for sure. Can't wait to post the after picture!=)

Ahh are any of my Canada ladies having a hard time...

Ahh are any of my Canada ladies having a hard time finding proper sports bras or on that opens in the front? I can't find anything!! I live in a small city and my selection is crap :( I'm worry about if I will even find a button up pajamas like the PS recommend walmart didnt have any! anyone else have this problem? Walmart selection here is crap. No danskin bras just nothing:( is it safe to wear lighter bralettes or something if you can't find good sports bras if you are just hanging out at home? I can't find a neck pillow either :( I did stock up on some of the things I will need after surgery.. Bendy straws lots of water, caps will be open since I probably won't be able to do that. Put pills in ziplocs got some soup but forgot crackers ops lol. I just talked to my sister and she calmed me down sooo much! I'm getting excited!! I have never ever gone shopping with my sister or anyone really so I hope she can help me find some adult clothes, exciting :):)
How are you ladies healing today if you went to boobie land??

This is me just rambling. But I have been thinking...

This is me just rambling. But I have been thinking about this lately.... I care too much about what others think of me because I have always been picked on in my life and sometimes I still do. So there is always going to be that little girl inside of me who just would like the world to fuck off and be ok with who I am... but she is thinking she still will probably care a little bit about what people are thinking lol. Sorry back to my point. I work with some assholes. I live in a smaller city and I know a couple people who have had BA but it's not super spoken about here so the thought runs into my mind about what will be think if they know I had a Boob Job? - now I dont give a fuck its my body and I want to make it gorgeous and sexy and to feel like a woman. But when that creeps in my head it makes me sick to think People judge people for getting cosmetic surgeries and if you are against it thats fine but I believe in them 100% what I DISAGREE with is ppl who say " oh you have fake boobs" or whatever else someone else might have altered about themselves. SO WHY is that frowned upon when being fake on the INSIDE is way way fucking worse. I Might be getting fake boobs but I will always be a genuine caring person on the inside. And yet people who act nice to your face but hate you behind your back and you know they are ignorant assholes are doing way more damage then a person getting PS work done. Does this make sense or am I blabbing and not
making any sense. Just something to think about.
I am gettting so scared and happy!!! Boobs for summer but im sad my surgery is at 2pm =( how will I not starve my face off, I will like pass out in hunger lol
happy healing my boob friends who got them today!

Can I really just write a post about this site, I...

Can I really just write a post about this site, I mean I LOVE it it's AMAZING and i appreciate whoever decided to create it! I really mean that its helped me and so many others so much that its unreal! uhhh I feel like I am writing a blog post for my blog lol. but can the REALSELF people please read this....

Please have notifications like instagram,facebook,twitter, pretty much everything does so we can see who comments where without having to do that by email. I get confused easy lol.
So thats my next part. The commenting and replies are SO strangely laid out on here I get confused, Please make it a bit easier to know who replied to what and whos talking to who.
oh and please make an app for my iphone =)
And I think thats all so um yeah thanks! If you could fix that by tomorrow that would be great lol ;)

Ok ok I am a smartass but I mean it with all love :)

I went a little bra shopping and I seriously dont even know what to get. Things are $65 and I kind of dont have much money as the boobs will be a lot plus my 4 weeks off work =( so Im so lost at what to do... can I just wear the surgical bra til I find one later??

Good luck to all you ladies getting to go to boobville tomorrow :)
H A P P Y H E A L I N G!!!

So funny I could barely breath thinking about this...

So funny I could barely breath thinking about this... I did mention I have some bad anxiety and I dont know if I can make it to the surgical center that day lol. But now I feel calm and SOOO happy about it.
Is this normal or am I going crazy? LOL
Another thing worrying me, I didn't take any vitamins or anything special before my surgery, my PS didn't say anything about it so I am wondering if thats ok??? Anyone else have this issue?

Good luck to all the ladies going tomorrow!!! =)

3 days away from my BA! I don't know whether to...

3 days away from my BA! I don't know whether to jump for joy or drown myself in my tears. I have been on such an emotional roller coaster ride it's not even funny...I believe this is somewhat normal but man. I feel sorry for my boyfriend! He's been really supportive but he is ready for me to get this over with so things can get better.

I have been so stressed out that I am getting sick =( I get really sick when I do get sick so I am even more nervous about that now. FRICK.
I am also worrying (that's a shocker) about how I will be sleeping when I am healing, I don't sleep on a good night so I hope it's not too insane with this. I know every surgeon has different healing instructions but it's so strange to hear some doctors having their patients do all these crazy exercises and different stretches, my doctor basically said to keep your arms still as possible for the first 72 hours and that will help with healing. So strange to me how different things are. Is this anything to do with the implant or just different doctor's opinions?

I wasn't worried about the pain afterwards because I figured it would be worth it but now I am worrying since some people are in SUCH pain :( My friend told me her BA was worse then having 2 kids. Yikes. I have no kids so I don't even wanna think that a BA is worse.
My PS also said I should be back to normal with my normal life and work within 3-4 weeks, sounds so unreal to me but fingers crossed he is right.

I know this is a whiny post but I can't help how I feel. My mother has had a few very intense surgeries in her life and they have been extremely difficult so I think to myself why would I do this to myself if I don't HAVE to.ugh.

I have no self esteem when it comes to my chest, clearly but is this worth it? Man I hope so!! I do think of all the shopping and how amazing it would feel to look like a grown up finally but it's still scary!
This site has given me the push I did need to go for it since it's been on my mind for a good ten years.

I am like this with everything in life, it takes me years sometimes to just figure one thing out because I sit and weigh each option a MILLION times, super irritating and I admire people that just go for it!!! I know I will be happy when I can wear something other then a t-shirt, maybe even a dress for the first time in years but it's so hard to get my mind to focus on just that part of things. Worrying doesn't get you anywhere.
What did you guys do to really focus on the aftermath?
Hope you are all doing well and healing quickly!!

2 more days.. Ladies please give me a good smack...

2 more days.. Ladies please give me a good smack because I am worrying sooo much. Is this the right thing to do???? I HATE hearing my good friends saying your beautiful the way you are blahh blahh. They don't get it and I can't expect them to but it clouds my mind with is this right is this right? What am I doing?!?!

I did speak with a friend who has had hers done last year and she says its amazing, boosted her confidence and she feels great. But she said it hurt like effing hell. So here I am worrying. But I worry about not waking up when I am being put under or crying before the surgery and then it not happening. Ahhh so many mixed emotions :/

It's 7am, I don't get to hit the road til 10:30...

It's 7am, I don't get to hit the road til 10:30 and then it's a tad early but I'm STARVING!! I hope I don't eat my steering wheel on the way there :(
PLEASE ANYONE WITH BOOBS REMIND ME WHY IM DOING THIS!?!?!!?!!!!!!!!!?????

Someone please tell me things get way better and...

Someone please tell me things get way better and fast! I've had such a rough 24 hours and I am questioning what I have done to myself!! Whoever doesn't get pain from this is so lucky! I'm the opposite and have been throwing up for the last 12 hours. Yuck. Doesn't feel good. Not to mention the pain killers do nothing for me.
How the heck are you guys holding up?

3 day post op and I don't know if this is worth it...

3 day post op and I don't know if this is worth it :( for the first 48 hours I threw up my guts couldn't hold water down let alone good or my meds. I was so upset and so scared. I had a slight fever but my ps said sometimes things react differently with different patents and its probably the anesthetic. Ok. But 2 days after I don't really know.i was so out of it and felt so much pain since I stopped trying to take the pain pills, the gravol wasn't working nothing. I called health link and they said you should go to emergency. So I did at about 11:00pm Thursday night and waited at the hospital til 1:30 I believe and I asked them is there any hope to see a doctor in the next couple hours? She said not too sure some people have been waiting for 5 hours already. Go home try to take your meds and come back if needed.
Ok fuck that Idea. I left sad hurting and felt like I was dying, I hadn't eaten since 11pm Tuesday night and it was Friday 1:30am shaky sick and fever. I was really scared and felt no doctor would help me, in the morning I called the PS again and he said he could give me t3s if I wanted. I said no that makes me vomit and I need to eat. He phoned in another prescription for me and said I shouldn't be too concerned unless my fever stays over 101 for too long, then go to hospital and get blood work(well clearly the hospital in my city won't help ppl so that worried me)
He said this rarely happens with patients and he feels really bad when it does. He told me some more info with Advil and Tylenol that I could take but I remember the nurse telling me he didn't like us to take ibuprofen or Advil. So I thought that was odd. Also he said I could take robax if I wanted for a muscle relaxer because it has tylenol in it . Well it has ibuprofen . So that bugged me also. Maybe I'm just confused I'm not sure, so I'm just taking my antibiotic and a half of a pain pill with gravol. It sucks. Bad bad experience. The clinic though everyone was soooo nice and made me feel comfortable so that part of everything was great. Ill say more about that later.
I feel this pain is way more then I expected' I think it's because pain killers don't really work with me. So weird I know. And I don't sleep properly and have been on prescription sleeping pills or years so not being able to sleep much through this hell has sucked.
My boobs are the usually ugly high up square torpedo looking ones and yuck , not ok with it.. I know they will drop but I hope it's sooner then later because I can't go in public like this yet:(
It's SOO hard to not be dependent too. I am SOO lucky that my bf had been the best care taker ever, I'm shocked but he's been so good to me. SOO nice to have that help.
Girls who don't have pain or have pain killers that work with you that's amazing! I hope you all are healing well. I have been off this site mostly since after surgery, I've been so out of it from the lack of food so forgive me if this post sucks.
I hope your all doing well and hopefully ill be a bit better soon cuz I can't take this much longer :(:(
T H A N K Y O U A L L for all the kind words and for caring about me, that means SOO much to me! Thank you guys so so much! And sorry if I'm bad at replying to comments I just feel so blahh and hurting but I'm trying.. Trying to be positive...

Post Op Day 7. W O W. What a week of effing hell....

Post Op Day 7. W O W. What a week of effing hell. I chose to not read the not worth it reviews once I decided on going for the BA just because I knew if I read enough I would freak out even more. I also have been super absent around here just because I knew I was in a bad place physically and mentally and knew I didn't have much good things to say. It's been really rough and I have been doing this whole week on Tylenol only. I actually think I have a high pain tolerance but this was pretty awful. I have been crying my face off all week. Barely been able to breath properly-deep breaths at least when you have anxiety is really quite frightening. But thankfully it's getting better each day.

Yesterday was my first post op appointment and the whole drive there (a couple hours) I was tearing up and very panicked in my breathing which makes things way worse. I just didn't know what my doctor was going to say. I know these things look boxy and high and ugly in the beginning but I fee like they look just awful and I am super upset if I have to have any kind of revision surgery.. So we get there and Dr Whidden was his polite confident self. He said things look great and they are supposed to look this way! He said if he put the implants in and they looked amazing to start with then after all the shifting they would look horrible. So he did ease my mind majorly. You just never know and since I am the spaz I am I worry 24/7 and needed that reassurance from the doctor. I do have a rash all over my stomach legs and arms and since I haven't been on any meds practically this whole time it makes no sense, I am just supposed to take Benadryl and obviously keep an eye on it. Today it's much better then yesterday so thats good.
This is also strange, my doctor is not cocky in any way but he is very confident, he knows his stuff and I do believe he does a great job. But he does not believe in using the strap or massaging. I cannot explain things how he did but it just made sense how he explained things and all the past studies have shown that massaging does absolutely nothing. He said if you would like to do it that's perfectly fine but if not that's great too. So I am not going to do anything as of right now. He also said that it's best to let the implants drop into the correct placing on their own and he doesn't use the strap. I know everything differs from surgeon to surgeon and kind of sounds scary when you hear my surgeon recommends nothing but maybe the way he does the surgery there is no need for other methods to help put the implants in place? Who knows.
He said he didn't need to see me til the 6 week mark which I thought was odd but he said I can certainly come in earlier if I have any concerns and to make sure to call the office and blahh blahh blahh with any questions ever. So it was good!

Since I was in a decent city we stopped by a real mall and omg whoever has Victoria Secret in their area is a damn lucky bitch! LOL. I seriously could have moved in to this one! It was AMAZING! I could have smelled perfumes all day and tried on everything. I grabbed a couple things to try on and of course everything was up high and fuck that hurts for me to grab ( I didn't bring the bf in the store, just wanted to do it by myself) and I tried to try on a couple sports bras since I have NOTHING but the nasty ass bra from the PS. Very unsuccessful. I couldn't actually get anything on. BOO. But I have tried on a sports bra with an under wire in a 34C and it was an ok fit so I just bought it anyway.. I won't get a bra fitting until I have dropped. I went to La Senza-man what a shit hole next to VS and bought a couple of the cotton bralette thingys if that's what they are called. They don't have support but I just kinda need something at this point and I had to buy a Large and my boobs are practically spilling over lol. I am SO curious how big they are, I think they are bigger then a 34c and I am worrying people at work are going to notice. The bf definitely loves them!

Anyone a week or so post op sleeping normally yet? I was given the go to sleep however is comfortable but damn morning boob effing hurts and it doesn't seem to be dying down... I heard the flatter you lay the worse it is in the am, is that true?

How are you guys for soreness and mobility? I have a hard time doing my hair still but am able to function. I cant reach up high high either. I would LOVE to not be so sore anymore. When does it end?

OK i am gonna end this novel now. But first..

THANK YOU ALL SOOO MUCH FOR ALL THE NICE COMMENTS AND ALL THE CONCERN YOU SHOWED ME WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH THIS HELL. I SERIOUSLY NEEDED IT AND IT REALLY HELPED ME!!!!! I was terrible at keeping up with comments and I am sorry for that, its just been a really shitty week but today i'm gonna catch up on all of you guys. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

POST OP DAY 10. Tired from the lack of sleep. This...

POST OP DAY 10. Tired from the lack of sleep. This has forever been an issue in my life but of course it is enhanced with these suckers in my body.
Today I am feeling like the a huge implants stuck beneath my skin and I can feel them move slightly as I bend forward and back.. When do they start feeling like they are a part of your body?? I am just feeling down and frustrated with them right now =/
I want to get back to normal but I am sure sore still. I drove for the first time yesterday since the surgery and shifting into first and reverse I had to use both arms, kinda difficult.
How is everyone else doing??

Post Op Day 12. I might be on this site way too...

Post Op Day 12. I might be on this site way too much so sorry if my posts are too often!!! I was just curious does anyone else with HP round implants notice the sides like around their armpit really hurt? My left side doesn't really but my right side is so tender and even hurts when I reach my arm out especially at night or first thing in the morning.My PS told me that round implants kind of go out (towards armpits) while dropping then back in so it is normal to have this feeling, but it's odd my right one is only bothering me and it looks like my left might be dropping a tiny bit more then my right. Also this is gross but ever since my surgery I have like acne starting on my chest, WTF! does anyone else have that issue? Never had it in my life and now there are a couple spots, yuck.
I have been sleeping on my back for 2 nights and my morning boob is wayyyy better, that feels soo nice to get up and not be like ughhhh.
I am waiting and waiting for signs of dropping. My PS said I probably wouldn't see it until week 3. Yikes lol.

time is standing still...

I am so fricken frustrated today I have cried practically all day long and I don't know when it will end. It is so hard to not be working for so long, have no family near me and any friends are at work.. I don't want to go anywhere because my boobs are in my collar bone not to mention torpedo shaped. WHEN DOES THIS END?! I know it's only been 15 days but I am really not enjoying this, I feel like I am way behind everyone else in the healing part.sigh. I feel like I will never be normal again =( i'm sorry to be such a whiner but this is just more emotional then I had thought, I feel like I am so far from the finish line that I can't even picture it in my mind =( Does anyone else feel this way??

Incisions

Post op Day 16. These were hard to take pictures of, I didn't wanna move my boobs to get a good shot. But why do they look so strange? They have like folds in them and it doesn't look like a nice clean straight line =( I don't even know how to put the scar strips on because I don't want my skin to heal if it's all indented maybe from the tape before?? Am I even making any sense? I just feel like this looks strange compared to everyone else's. =(

Post Op Day 21 New pics

Feels like I am 3 months in not 3 weeks! I am feeling more like myself day by day but it is very slow,very tiny change each day barely noticeable. Yes I knew this going in,BUT to be fair my surgeons office all reassured me I would be able to go back to my PHYSICAL job my 3 weeks. well it's 3 weeks today and guess what there is NO way I could do my job at this point.I'm super bummed about that. I want to be working and not sitting at home, it's pretty depressing not to mention I am losing SO much money.fuck that sucks.I pray I only need one more week at home but who knows.
This past 2 weeks has been a horrible emotional crazy ride. My mother actually just went in yesterday for a reduction(go figure lol) and a lift. But she went to a hospital to have her surgery and seriously I was so uncomfortable with how things went. It was soo nice at my surgical centre, they took soo much time to discuss every little thing with me and make me as comfortable as could be. They were amazing. The hospital was just complete opposite. We just sat there for a couple hours waiting for anything to happen and I didn't get to talk to any doctors (im a bit motherly in that way) or anyone, that was really upsetting to me it was just like she was a number. But all went well and I will be getting her tomorrow morning and taking care of her for a few days(don't know if I am up for that but what do you do). One of the nurses asked me why I couldnt carry my moms stuff (she packed for like a week it was ridiculous lol) and I said I just had a surgery...Well what kind?she asked. UGH I don't want to tell people!! I told her and she just gave me that look.

So I talked to my PS's office and they say my puckering skin is from the dissolving stitches inside my breast and will flatten out eventually(I seriously hope.) So that made me a little more cheerful because it looks horrible. I will try to get my bf to take a proper picture to show you guys. I am just wondering why I haven't see other patients of his with this problem and why no one ever mentioned this being a possibility. It might seem minor but it basically looks like dimples in the bottom of my boobs, Im not ok with that it looks gross, I cant even see the damn scars from all the puckering =( so no scar strips for me for now.
AND it clearly looks like my left boob is a lot larger then my right.. I am trying not to be a spaz but has anyone had this? Is it possibly because my left is dropping more then my right so its taking on its proper shape? That makes sense to me but I just kind of am unsure so any advice would be great!
I also am having the worrying of people noticing at my job, I have talked about this before I know but I do work with some real assholes and there was a girl who used to work there who had a BA and EVERYONE would talk about it behind her back... so ridiculous to me!! Who cares?!?! No body talks about people dying their hair or fake tanning or whatever else we do to alter our appearance. I think I am noticeably larger..maybe I should have got 300ccs not 350cc? frick I don't know!

Happy note though I am LOVING trying on clothes! I did try on some dresses and adult tops and felt SO MUCH better omg! I cannot wait to buy some nice clothes and feel like my figure is great!!

Has anyone noticed people looking at your boobs while your out and find it uncomfortable? It could be in my head because I am no hot number but I feel like I have been getting a couple looks from older creeepy looking men lol go fucking figure right. I have never really been "checked out" so it would be really weird if that happens now! Anyone else feel that way?

Okay sorry my updates are so long and you guys are probably bored lol sorry!!!

THANKS again for all the positive support, you guys are the best and I seriously really am thankful for all the nice and comforting words!!!
Good luck to all you ladies going for surgery today and this week!!!! Cant wait to read the stories =)

Post Op Day 21 New pics

Feels like I am 3 months in not 3 weeks! I am feeling more like myself day by day but it is very slow,very tiny change each day barely noticeable. Yes I knew this going in,BUT to be fair my surgeons office all reassured me I would be able to go back to my PHYSICAL job my 3 weeks. well it's 3 weeks today and guess what there is NO way I could do my job at this point.I'm super bummed about that. I want to be working and not sitting at home, it's pretty depressing not to mention I am losing SO much money.fuck that sucks.I pray I only need one more week at home but who knows.
This past 2 weeks has been a horrible emotional crazy ride. My mother actually just went in yesterday for a reduction(go figure lol) and a lift. But she went to a hospital to have her surgery and seriously I was so uncomfortable with how things went. It was soo nice at my surgical centre, they took soo much time to discuss every little thing with me and make me as comfortable as could be. They were amazing. The hospital was just complete opposite. We just sat there for a couple hours waiting for anything to happen and I didn't get to talk to any doctors (im a bit motherly in that way) or anyone, that was really upsetting to me it was just like she was a number. But all went well and I will be getting her tomorrow morning and taking care of her for a few days(don't know if I am up for that but what do you do). One of the nurses asked me why I couldnt carry my moms stuff (she packed for like a week it was ridiculous lol) and I said I just had a surgery...Well what kind?she asked. UGH I don't want to tell people!! I told her and she just gave me that look.

So I talked to my PS's office and they say my puckering skin is from the dissolving stitches inside my breast and will flatten out eventually(I seriously hope.) So that made me a little more cheerful because it looks horrible. I will try to get my bf to take a proper picture to show you guys. I am just wondering why I haven't see other patients of his with this problem and why no one ever mentioned this being a possibility. It might seem minor but it basically looks like dimples in the bottom of my boobs, Im not ok with that it looks gross, I cant even see the damn scars from all the puckering =( so no scar strips for me for now.
AND it clearly looks like my left boob is a lot larger then my right.. I am trying not to be a spaz but has anyone had this? Is it possibly because my left is dropping more then my right so its taking on its proper shape? That makes sense to me but I just kind of am unsure so any advice would be great!
I also am having the worrying of people noticing at my job, I have talked about this before I know but I do work with some real assholes and there was a girl who used to work there who had a BA and EVERYONE would talk about it behind her back... so ridiculous to me!! Who cares?!?! No body talks about people dying their hair or fake tanning or whatever else we do to alter our appearance. I think I am noticeably larger..maybe I should have got 300ccs not 350cc? frick I don't know!

Happy note though I am LOVING trying on clothes! I did try on some dresses and adult tops and felt SO MUCH better omg! I cannot wait to buy some nice clothes and feel like my figure is great!!

Has anyone noticed people looking at your boobs while your out and find it uncomfortable? It could be in my head because I am no hot number but I feel like I have been getting a couple looks from older creeepy looking men lol go fucking figure right. I have never really been "checked out" so it would be really weird if that happens now! Anyone else feel that way?

Okay sorry my updates are so long and you guys are probably bored lol sorry!!!

THANKS again for all the positive support, you guys are the best and I seriously really am thankful for all the nice and comforting words!!!
Good luck to all you ladies going for surgery today and this week!!!! Cant wait to read the stories =)

4 Weeks Post op!

Felt like I would never get here. I am FINALLY feeling pretty good. Feeling almost back to normal which isn't THAT bad that it took this long, longer then I hoped for but when you don't sleep really ever you heal slower.

Changes:
I am able to sleep comfortably on either side at night(or lay I guess since I don't really sleep lol)
I don't feel like I have huge bags of silicon sitting on my chest
Feeling more like myself
Sides of breasts no longer hurt
Easier to lift things and do regular things
Maybe some dropping? Not much though.
So much softer! They are squishy and feeling more natural. I still don't move them around or anything because it freaks me out but they can move a bit.
Getting used to the size ( I would go back and forth about they are sooo big and no they are too small!)

I am starting work on Monday, super nervous about that but I will try to take it easy. I work in a shop and lift some what heavy things( not extreme but I am small and weak so heavy for me!) Parts and washing bigger rig trucks and stuff. The work is a bit physical but I hope I will be okay since it will be almost 5 weeks.

This is super funny. I went and got my first fitting ever in my life and I was nervous to do so since I just am shy and that's awkward for me, The girl is putting the measuring tape around me but I see in the mirror it just doesn't look tight, I don't say anything because I am not going to tell someone how to do their job... She gets me a side, 30D I try to try on a couple and I can't even do them up and my boobs don't even fit in the cup!(they need to drop still so that doesn't quite help) LOL so I tried a 32D and 34C(since I seem to fit in a VS 34C but not at La Senza) anyway no luck, but it's still early so I am not that concerned about it.But just gave up for now on that.
I also was trying on some dresses and stuff yesterday and I still am not filling out the tops of some dresses LOL Kind of funny but nothing that a good old padded bra won't fix i'm sure. Some people might cringe at thinking of buying a padded bra after a BA and honestly at first I was like WTF, they are too small!! But in the end I wanted something that would fit my frame, I wanted something that I could still be physical with and feel normal so I am really happy about that size I think! And wearing the odd bra with padding won't kill me so it's ok.

Stuff I can't do but wish I could:
Lay on my stomach!! Still feels like i'm laying on implants if I try to lay on my stomach, so uncomfortable.
Wish I could lift everything on my own,yes it gets better but i'm ready now!
Wish they would effin drop lol

How are all you doing??
I felt something super creepy and gross yesterday, I felt them move with my muscles and ekkk I DO NOT like that feeling!!! I have seen how they can be moved by muscles in youtube videos but I was hoping maybe it wouldn't happen with mine lol. Do you guys notice that??
And when does the feeling of them being bags moving forward in your body when you lean over go away???

Well that is all I have for now. Hope everyone is healing well and congrats to all the ladies going in this week!!!!

10 Minute What!

I just received an email from my PS office to confirm my appointment next week and they stated it would be a 10 minute appointment and if I needed any longer I would have to reschedule. Talk about time crunch! I have to take an entire day off from work, drive 2 hours each way for 10 minutes! LOL I do think since things are going well it would only take 10 minutes but that's just pushing it a bit. What if I have a question, or three??

How is everyone doing??

I have worked a few days now, it is quite difficult but I am slow..wish I could reach all the way up with my arms fully extended without it feeling like skin is pulling..anyone else have that feeling?

I am 5 weeks post op and they still don't feel like they are my body..They are getting nice and soft and I am super comfortable with the size which is perfect, no one even notices, kinda looks like I still have no boobs haha. I actually think I might have to wear a padded bra occasionally with maybe a dress or something but that's ok. They are looking sooo much better and dropping nicely! I think I am finally happy with my decision! wahooo! If I can feel this way then anyone can =) The only thing that bothers me a bit is that my incision is pretty long, the length of my pinky finger, it might be the same as most peoples but it just feels so long =/
I will update pics soon, and when I get my hands on my before pictures from my PS I might be brave and post them.
Hope you ladies are doing well and yay for the weekend, it's almost here!

6 W EE K S POST OP! 350 HP GUMMIES

Wow I finally made it this far!
I have recently had a 6 week post op appointment with my PS and he says everything is looking normal. They still need to soften and drop more but in time, he said up to 9 months for full results. That's crazy! He cleared me to do everything I wanted, I even asked about doing push ups even though clearly I wouldn't dare!! But he said yep go ahead! I can go in pools and live normally, wire bras or push ups. It was a very quick appointment but he was polite as usual and answered my 50 questions lol so that was good.
My favourite part of the appointment, you guys will think I am completely nuts when I say this but here it goes... I never asked what would happen if I wanted to remove my implants. I think I was honestly terrified of the answer ( and I mean no disrespect to anyone who has had theirs removed) But I didn't have horrible boobs to begin with so it really terrified me to know my body might look really different in a negative way. BUT he told me with the size I went and since it is under the muscle I would be back to the way I was before the surgery except with scars. He said my skin wouldn't be all saggy and it wouldn't be anything horrible. I in no way think I want them gone ever but it was just nice to know that if for some reason that was an issue I wouldn't hate my body even more. I also asked about my right size being "bigger". He said once they drop fully it will be very unnoticeable that the left one originally was slightly larger and that I just need to be patient. I have REALLY sensitive skin on my right size and its really uncomfortable and I asked him if that fades away, he said sometimes but sometimes it's like that forever but your body gets used to the sensitivity so it feels like it calms down-that was not reassuring in any way.I hope it goes away, still feels super irritating =( I also forgot to ask about my implant card, dammit.

I did go to VS and get sized, 32dd.. I hear VS is generous with their sizing so I guess I am not that big lol. BUT when I was sized at La Senza, I was a 30dd so I think they are fairly close. It's just a number anyway so no big deal.
I bought one bra, 60 effing dollars. Fricken hell. I will buy more when I know for sure that I am comfortable wearing wire ones again.
Work is hard, but getting easier. A male co worker was looking at my chest area yesterday when we were talking and I was spazzing a bit thinking he was noticing!! ek. but I am sure he was just being a guy not thinking I had a BA!
Laying on my stomach seems completely unimaginable but I will survive. I heard a good point, some pregnant women can't lay on their stomachs either and they survive lol.
I feel emotionally better a LOT better. So that is reassuring to anyone who is on the fence or feeling down about their choice. If I can get through it, so can you!=)

I haven't tried jogging yet which I am really wanting too but I am so exhausted from work and other life things that I just can't even think about it. I was doing some ab work the other day and it really was bugging my incisions =/ So I guess just leg work. blahh. I also can't effing wait til I can reach completely normal again and not feel a tugging feeling.

How are all you ladies healing?? How are you ladies doing that are getting prepared for surgery??

Once you are on the mend you do take a break from this site, but please know I am always wondering how all you guys are and am super thankful for all the kind comments and updates from you all!!!

2 Months Post Op 350cc HP Gummys

2 Months and 7 days today. WOW. Effed up if you ask me lol. Still am shocked I did this. Yes I do love them, wish they were real but they sure aren't!
I have been very absent from this site lately, things are busy, work is so busy during the summer and I work long days it really sucks. I hope your all doing well.
I still don't feel 100% normal, I am wondering if I ever will. I love the way they look on me and it's really nice having something up top for sure. I wish they were bigger of course but I know I wouldn't have had a good time healing since it was so hard even with the small size I have.
My puckering is 100% gone, that makes me so happy, I have been using the silicon scar strips but it's too early to tell if they are helping.
I still feel uncomfortable in some ways laying on my stomach, could never do it on a hard surface, in bed its mostly ok. I can finally stretch my arms normally and reach up high without pulling. My skin is probably fully stretched out so it feels a lot better.
I still don't have all my strength back if I am pulling or pushing, which really sucks and I am shocked to hear anyone is doing major work outs because I just can't.
I do light cardio and ab/legs but nothing with my arms. I am still scared I think in ways that I am going to fuck with the boobs. Does that feeling ever go away?
I feel better about leaning forward now. But I still feel them "fall" forward but getting used to it.
I have said SEE YA LATER to sports bras thank fuck! Well other then times you should be wearing them. So pumped for regular bras! Everyone says VS sizes bigger then La Senza, but I still found 32DD fit decent in VS and LS.
I am so happy to see how much everything has dropped, I have no clue if they are in place yet or not but I guess time will tell. My right has caught up a bit but still is smaller then my left so that blows but hopefully when they are fully dropped things appear to be even.
Other then that I don't think I have anything exciting to say, I am kind of blahh about things lately......
My pictures aren't spectacular but here are my new ones =)

Hope you ladies are all doing well!!! I will try to catch up soon I swear!

2 Months Post Op 350cc HP Gummy

I forgot to mention, They are sooo much softer now and feel real according to the bf.. I really have no idea since I haven't ever touch real big boobs lol. They aren't as squishy as some girls on here but maybe I am just scared to squeeze them that hard yet. Maybe I always will be? I also still have numbness all underneath my nipples which is really bugging me. I wish the feeling would come back =( It also still bothers me on my right side around the arm put area, its so sensitive and I feel like it will never be normal again. The PS said it's possible it could stay like that for life. Sigh. Just want to feel normal.

82 days and counting....

I am still in shock I have actually went through with this! I had wanted it most of my adult life but didn't think I would ever have the guts to do it...

I am almost 3 months post op and I have had my ups and downs. I love the look of them and feel like the suit my body perfectly... They make me feel like a woman and not a teenager! They are pretty soft now and look real to me but maybe I am just fooling myself? lol.

There is so many days that I think wtf did I do?! I do have regrets somedays about actually doing this to my body, I had such a hard recovery and still don't feel 100% that I am nervous about this.
I cannot lay on my stomach comfortably. In bed its not so bad but on the couch or floor fuck no. It seriously feels like balls of silicon painfully in my boobs, so clearly I try to avoid stomach laying at all costs even though I always used too.
I feel nervous I am going to fuck anything up, I don't want to push myself too much because it doesn't quite make sense to me if it takes 9-12 months for these implants to drop into the specific pocks to be able to be hard on your body and possibly make them move into a different spot, does that even make sense? It just scares me.
I recently had a freak out about my nipples not looking right and emailed my PS office with pictures about this issue. The nurse is WONDERFUL! She replies within 24 hours and helps put your mind at ease. She told me things were where they were supposed to be and unfortunately my nipples aren't exactly in perfect placement and where like that before the surgery, which Dr. Whidden did show me but you really don't notice small things like that until you actually are staring at your boobs constantly! I even had the before photos sent to me but I was too chicken to look at them. Then every little thing I am panic attack mode about =( But so far so good. Everything appears to be correct. I am just still so nervous!

I have been using my scar strips some what randomly but I honestly don't notice any major differences yet but it's still early!
It has been warm here but sadly I have yet to wear a bikini =( We have no beaches near by so I am still just wearing my regular old clothes lol. I feel like I don't know how to dress like a 28 year old with boobs! Does anyone else have that issue??

I have jogged a bit but honestly I don't like the feel of them moving around a lot. I am a spaz and worry that they will get messed up or something even though the Dr says its ok. Am I overreacting?

Lately I have been hearing or at least noticing a lot more of people using the word fake, and say how fake some girls I work with are with their fake hair, nails,eye lashes,contacts... I am seriously sweating like a pig thinking omg what would they say if they knew about my boobs!!! I know some girls are so open with this but I am not. I wish I didn't tell anyone I did but it's too late now. It just such a personal decision and when you live in a small city I just feel like people are more judgemental. I even had a conversation about getting older with a friend the other day and I mentioned that I don't think I look as good as I used too...he said "just get a boob job!" Man did my face ever feel like it was on fire but I never told him lol.

I know this post might not be super positive but I am being honest and I don't know but I just have my days about what I have done....

I hope you guys are all doing well!!!

Anxiety melt down.

I know I haven't been very supportive the past few weeks and or month with this site and all of you...things have been a bit rough and I am having anxiety attacks more frequent. I really do care about each and everyone I have connected with on this site and I know I haven't been around but I still hope you all know that I am hoping everyone is doing well. I don't mean to be a hypocrite and ask for support when I haven't been dishing it out lately. It's just been really hard.
I felt ok for a while with what I chose to do but lately it has been on my mind that it wasn't the best decision and I could of course used the money else where in my life. I have had some family health issues lately and it really messes up my head that I have worried about small boobs when they are dealing with much worse. I can't believe I put myself at risk when its just for vanity..please someone tell me I am wrong. I just have that small part of me thats like holy shit you seriously did it.
I feel uncomfortable with them lately like I can feel the implant inside of me just when I am sitting still. That makes me feel even more awful knowing there is a foreign object inside of me. sigh. I do of course love the way it looks and I know if there is added confidence it is a positive thing. I just cant stop worrying. I really don't mean to pit a negative spin on this because things have went well since I have been healing but I just still feel more upset most days then happy. Does anyone else feel this way? For anyone who doesn't understand anxiety I can see you not being able to relate to this post, and I am thankful you can't. I really do not want negative feed back, I cant handle that right now. I know it was my choice and I did this, yes I did my research,yes I knew this was going to be difficult. I just feel kind of alone with it all since I really only have you guys to talk too...which I am grateful for.
i'm so nervous because my left side is just slightly firmer then my right, and it sounds like so many girls have super soft squishy boobs and mine don't seem as soft if that makes sense? I am just worrying so much holy fuck.
please forgive me for this post. but I need to vent big time.

6 Months Post Op.

I have been putting this update off for a long time. I have been so up and down with this that I just felt I needed more time to decide if I am ok with what I have done or pure regret. I have very mixed days about everything.
Some days I feel like wow why the fuck would I do this to myself. What was I thinking? I have like flashbacks of laying down on the table before I got put under and that gives me major anxiety.
Other days I think it's ok, you feel more ok with yourself and it's done so enjoy it.
So I still am not really sure.

My main issues are I can never lay on my stomach again unless it is a soft bed or something, the floor is unthinkable. It hurts so bad. I still find it uncomfortable if they get pressed up against something since it feels weird. I honestly don't think they will ever feel natural.
Another issue I have is my PS did not have the software where you can see what you would look like with the implants, a few of my friends had that and in a way I am thinking that would have really helped me because now I feel like I shouldn't have got the round high profile. I feel like they make me look fat since my frame is smaller. I feel like they are so high and look so fake which I am not really okay with. I did do a lot of research but you do not know what it will look like on your body since every single body is different. I am disappointed my surgeon didn't offer more information I guess to ensure I don't just look like I have wide small boobs. I feel like they don't even look good. My clothes fit exactly the same as they did prior and I do find myself still needing a push up bra...which I am okay with since I didn't want massive boobs but I just feel like my results are not as good as most I have seen =( I put my body and mind through all this not to mention the $10,000 and I don't even look amazing.
My left one is still a lot bigger then my right which it was a different size to begin with but I just feel like maybe the doctor could have done a better job sizing things up because if I wore something super tight or just a bandeau you can totally tell. that makes me super upset. I wanted nice boobs! That was the whole point.
I get muscle spasms sometimes and its kinda weird. I still have numbness which sucks.
OMG this is the WORST part of everything now... I live in the cold and when you are shaking from being so cold your muscles move and your implants move! It is so SICK and feels so TERRIBLE I could just cry. and it's gets to -40'C here so there is a lot of shivering. Does anyone else hate this feeling?! It's so awful. I am so fearful of ever wearing a shirt that shows any cleavage and being cold because they move!!! that would be so embarrassing to me if anyone saw. It is just like the push ups. I will never do those again because I do not like feeling the implants move apart like that. ugh.

On a positive note I would be more comfortable in a bikini I am sure ( still haven't worn one) I don't think about it all day everyday now, which is nice.
No one has said a word about having a nice rack so thats disappointing lol well the bf has but he seems to be over it now lol fuck.

In these pictures I posted can anyone be honest and tell me what you think of the side shots? I feel like the look like fat balls on my chest and so fake =( I hope I am over reacting!

I havent even been using my scar strips lately either, the scars don't really bother me but I will take an updated picture soon.

I hope all you ladies are healing well!!!!!!

OMG Sorry SO LATE! BUT….

I recently went for my "6" month check up almost a year later LOL. With the crazy snow and the office being a couple hours away work money and all that I was late.
So I got to the office, I feel so bad I forget the reception's name but she's a sweetheart, so kinda, she got me in the room then Vanessa my FAV! Took my updated pictures. If you go to Dr. Whidden she is seriously amazing,cannot stress that enough.
I was nervous as shit because who knows right, I could have anything wrong but I am just a worrier.
ALL CLEAR! So far every things perfect =) he said they are soft and dropped nicely, shape is good and the scars are healing well. Dr. Whidden was very wonderful to speak with that day he made me so comfortable. He is so professional it's a very nice feeling. He told me to just be normal, act as if they are my own,live normal and it's ok (just because he knows my anxiety) He also said there is no need for a year check up unless I have any concerns I can come in anytime so I was THRILLED =)
They aren't perfect but they are a LOT better then what they were but I am just a perfectionist but I am happy with the appearance.

I feel comfortable running, sleeping on them, pretty much every normal activity, I will never do a push up again and Dr. Whidden mentioned a lot of girls with this surgery never will again because it feels so weird. It freaks me out!!! I really have no concerns other then they aren't as big as I want hahahah but again It would look funny since I am smallish (I think,maybe it won't look like it in the pictures but let me know what you think.)

With all that being said here are some updated pictures, I forgot my scar pictures dammit but I will do them soon, and sorry for all the really ghetto trying to block out my tattoos, I have so many now it's so hard to hide them since this is all a secret!!! Also I would LOVE your guys thoughts on if they look half real and if they suit my body, 5'2 105-110lbs… sorry for the bad camera ship as well I am not a pro lol.

I am sooooo sorry I haven't been around but I will try its just been hard, you know life just isn't the easiest and I hope you all are doing well and I miss my boob buddies!!

Just 2 pics that wouldn't upload

Hope your all well….

Whatca think?

ONE YEAR 350 CC Gummy HP WHOA!!!!!!

Wow. Seriously still a tad shocked its been a year and that I actually did this all. Ha. Crazy to me.

I want to first thank everyone who has taken the time to comment on my story, read my story or reached out to me to give help or to lean on me. If it wasn't for all the positivity here I REALLY wouldn't or couldn't have done this!

I am just popping on here quick so forgive the lack or bad pictures.

A year has past and things have changed so much as we all know. I am a LOT more comfortable with them but I still have my times where I worry too much about them- recently did acupuncture and I had to lay on my stomach but I just couldn't do it since you have to lay still for so long, I had a pillow under my stomach but it was too freaky. In bed its ok but harder surfaces your very aware of the feel still. It doesn't bother me so much when I bend forward, I mean I actually don't notice it much like in the beginning.
When someone gives me a massive hug I feel the fakeness in my body lol it just doesn't feel real for me and I hope they don't feel that on the other end.

I used to think that people wouldn't be able to tell if you had fake boobs or not, but after really doing my research and we all know how many boobs we see I guess no matter what if someone really saw them in the flesh they would know, but I think I am ok with that(but I am in a long term relationship so that's nothing I need to run into) I only talk of this because my close friend had hers done about 6 months before me and she was worrying about telling her new bf, and we kinda decided hey lets see if he just knows? Do any of you ladies do that ever?

I FINALLY got to go to a beach and have a normal bikini!! It honestly felt great, and I was even really checked out by a couple hot guys which never happens to me, my boyfriend saw one guy and was like what the hell LOL. Nice to wear no padding in a bikini, no puddle of water after I came out the the ocean gushing from my chest hahah.

The scars are healing ok, I honestly don't really care about them so I stopped using my scar strips a long time ago.The scars really aren't in the crease of my breasts, is that normal? One is closer but the other one is like on my boob its kinda weird since they always say it's in the crease but maybe I am misunderstanding.

I don't think I really have anything interesting to say if anyone is reading my random thoughts I just wrote, but I just really really appreciate you all and wish everyone the best with upcoming surgeries , recoveries or just going through the thoughts of this surgery. I really apologize for the lack of being around on this site… just trying to live life and things are busy I guess right?

ONE YR ONE MONTH-I am iffy…..

One year and one month into this adventure of ups and downs… I have been pretty okay with everything for the past while and felt more comfortable in my skin, not bothered by my additions and just feeling like they are part of me. I honestly didn't think they were huge and still don't but I just felt like sharing these couple of comments and maybe someone will read this and comfort me LOL.
I was recently with my friend who had her breasts done as well, she did get the same size 350cc gummy implants, I am not sure what profile her's were but they looked great, super natural and you never would be able to tell ever, she even was walking around in just like a bralette it just looked natural. She says to me as we are walking that mine are way too high and look really fake…she's blunt to be fair but she said don't worry they will drop more.
I don't believe they will drop anymore but I am overly uncomfortable with people thinking they are fake, they are high and maybe with my short torso I shouldn't have gotten high profile, now I feel effing stupid. It's not like I can change this… as well why didn't my PS mention they would be practicalling in my collar bone?!?!? kinda sad now.
Then at work yesterday a girl asks me if my boobs are real or not, I said yeah they are, are yours? She said yep grew them myself… I said ditto, everyone in my family has large boobs… then she says well your just really small I don't see how you can have that large of boobs. blahh blahh It wasn't a pleasant conversation to me at all since I want to keep my secret to myself and it's really no one's business unless I decide to tell them.
I have been getting a lot of male attention now which who wouldn't like the odd compliment but I feel kinda weird because a buddy of mine said I get more attention because of my boobs =/ maybe that's what I did always want secretly but now it's different…not complaining just thinking its different.
Okay that is my long story, may not sound like much but I guess I am sensitive with this, so I ask honestly how awfully fake do these look?????
Calgary Plastic Surgeon

Everything I found online was very positive. I felt he was very skilled and every story I heard was positive so I went with it! I like his to the point approach and he was dead on with my sizing I think! His staff is very wonderful especially Vanessa the nurse, she has helped ease my mind so much! I'll bump up the rating when I am healed and looking perfect lol but that will be a little while.

4 out of 5 stars Overall rating
4 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
4 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
4 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
3 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
4 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
4 out of 5 stars Wait times
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