Is this proper procedure to grind down parts of the crown & remove some tooth material to fit a crown?

Typically, it is not necessary to grind surrounding teeth to make a crown fit, but if the crown is too high and the dentist has no other option, then it may be necessary.  You should not expect damage to your other teeth because dentist will usually not penetrate the enamel layer of the tooth.  The enamel is the layer that protects your tooth from bacterial decay.  I suggest letting the dentist try to fit the new crown at your next appointment because I suspect it will fit fine.  Good luck and I hope this helps. Follow me if you have more questions.Sarah Thompson, DMD

Gold as a dental material has multiple benefits:   It is malleable , inert , and can be placed in areas where thereis relatively little space (as opposed to porcelain or resin , which generally requires a greater thickness to withstand the biting forces) .   The dentist may have been reluctant to grind the gold crown , fearing that grinding would create a hole in it (by thinning it too much).    Dentists often work with millimeter calipers tohelp them measure thickness of materials to avoid this issue.  Alternatively,the dentist may have adjusted adjacent or opposing teeth because he/she noticed interferences that needed to be removed.    I hope this helped answer your question. I urge you to discuss with your dentist in an open manner.   This will facilitate understanding between you and your dentist .  With open communication, results and trust improve.   And I am quite sure the second time will be a charm! 

Ideally, no adjustments of your crown or teeth would be necessary.  However, there are many variables in making a crown that in some instances dictates that the dentist adjust either or both, the new crown and opposing teeth.In some instances it is actually preferable to adjust the opposing teeth,  Specifically, some teeth have an extra long cusp, called a "plunger cusp" or a tooth that has "supra erupted", making it longer than all the adjacent teeth.  So, in those cases it is often preferable for the dentist to adjust the opposing teeth more than the crown.In general, little adjustments of either the crown or opposing teeth have little significance.In my practice, if I feel it is in the patient's best interest that I adjust the opposing teeth, I will tell the patient in advance and get their permission.  My patients almost always trust my judgment and follow my advice when I
explain the reason why, in advance of the adjustments I'm recommending.However, if you distrust your dentist, and you have little faith or confidence, then maybe it's time to find another dentist?