Plastic Surgery Etiquette: Post-procedure Compliments
asked 3 years ago by anon
Latest answer by Michael Law, MD
Question viewed 1,728 times
Tags: ethics
After someone you know has undergone plastic surgery, should you let on that you know they had work done, just say that they look great, or say nothing at all?
How do most patients handle this after they've had plastic surgery? Do they want people to notice they had plastic surgery?
12 answers to Plastic Surgery Etiquette: Post-procedure Compliments
+2
You raise many different scenarios
For patients that are open about plastic surgery:
These are patients that are comfortable knowing that the surgery has been performed and are not ashamed to tell others as well. For this group, they want to hear that they "look good". After the compliment, they will often tell the complimenter that they have had surgery.
Note: As a plastic surgeon, I take it as an insult if people say "you had plastic surgery"' , if you look better and natural then it is fine but if a patient actually looks...
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Robert M. Freund, MD
New York Plastic Surgeon
New York Plastic Surgeon
+1
You look Great
My personal aesthetic sensibility is this: a good aesthetic cosmetic surgery result is a result that looks natural, not 'done'. I always delight in the patient who reports that their friends or their colleagues at work say "You look fantastic!", but that they can't quite put their finger on why.
I have had many patients report that they have receiveed compliments on their clothing, hair , weight loss lipstick etc. following surgery. Some patients elect to share...
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+1
Everyone likes to know they look good...
Don't over think this too much. If you think someone looks good, tell them they look good. You don't have to say "wow, that tummy tuck sure looks good!" Just compliment them naturally. Think about what you would like someone to say to you after a nice refreshing vacation, a great tan, or some weight loss after a lot of rigorous exercise. If you do, you'll come up with the right answer.
Sirish Maddali, MD
Portland Plastic Surgeon
Portland Plastic Surgeon
+1
If they look great, say so.
If you think they look great, say that you think they look great. It should also be OK to ask them "what are you doing to look so good?" That opens up the opportunity for them to tell you if they want to. If they don't want to tell you, they may just make up a little white lie. If they do let you know that they've had work done, the biggest compliment is to ask for the doctor's phone number! That makes them feel good that you believe in their judgement.
Thomas T. Nguyen, MD
Orange County Plastic Surgeon
Orange County Plastic Surgeon
+1
Best to stay mum
Most all patients don't want someone to notice that they have had cosmetic surgery. That would mean that they didn't look "natural." Even at 2 weeks, my facelift patients typically can go back into the world incognito despite a huge difference from their preop appearance.
It is a rare patient who would be disappointed and say after surgery "nobody said anything!"
+1
Everyone likes to here they look good.
Yes, everyone likes to hear they look good. Sincere compliments are welcome. But, not everyone wants to tell acquaintances, relatives, co-workers every detail. Prying is never in good taste.
Each of us has our own personality style. We also have concentric spheres of people around us, which vary in degree of closeness. The potential questioner should be sensitive to these factors and the setting.
In recent years, I find patients more open to disclosing information about their...
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Sutton Graham II, MD
Greenville Plastic Surgeon
Greenville Plastic Surgeon
+1
Tell them they look great! Dont let them know you think they had plactic surgery.
Patients are very disappointed if friends and family dont see an improvement after plastic surgery.
However, most patients also tell me they dont want people to know they have had plastic surgery.
Therefore it is best to compliment them by saying" you look great!"-leave it at that-if they want to share the fact they have had surgery it is up to them.
But by all means compliment them-it is very disappointing to go through sugery and have no one think you look good....
+1
Everyone is different
In this situation, everyone is different. My advice would be to just tell them that they look great. If they bring up the surgery, then it is okay to talk about it. If they do not bring it up, then I would just let it go. That said, most people after surgery are usually fairly open about their procedure. They are sometimes just worried about people being critical. If they do talk to you about their surgery, be encouraging. They just underwent a big procedure and expense and the...
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+1
Judgment call
I think it is OK to tell them that they look great. It will make them feel reassured that they did the right thing and chose the right surgeon.
+1
Wait for an Opening, or MYOB
Proper etiquette regarding comments about a friend's appearance, in most circumstances, would depend on the depth of the friendship, and the risk of offending the other party. It would be rude to comment on the changed appearance of a casual friend or business acquaintance, while often there may be "no holds barred" policy of comments or criticism towards your life-long best friend, who most likely would tell you before considering or having cosmetic surgery anyway.
The more...
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Athleo Louis Cambre, MD
Los Angeles Plastic Surgeon
Los Angeles Plastic Surgeon
+1
Be sensitive and courteous by maintaining their privacy.
After being in practice for 23 years, I must admit that every cosmetic patient is unique. I have had some patients fly in from out-of-state and stay in a nearby hotel for three or more weeks until almost all the signs of surgery are resolved before venturing out into the public. Others could care less…they put on sunglasses, don a scarf, or put on a hat and go about their usual business, not missing a beat. And, everyone else seems to be in between.
So how do you handle someone...
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Stephen A. Goldstein, MD
Englewood Plastic Surgeon
Englewood Plastic Surgeon
+1
Just a nice compliment
Probably the nicest answer would be just to say they look great. If they are comfortable with people knowing they had surgery, they may "spill the beans."
Plastic surgery is an immensely private affair for some patients. Many husbands have no idea their wives have had surgery before, and the wives make sure that I know this beforehand when I am talking to both of them together.
For celebrities and people in the public eye, their beautiful persona may rely on the illusion that...
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