Helping Post-Op Plastic Surgery Patients

Hi All, I have a close relative who recently underwent a major, cosmetic surgery. For about 2 weeks she needs my help getting in and out of bed, chairs, car, etc. I don't mind that at all, but instead of her letting me help her with my hands...she has insisted on me squatting down and pulling on my T-shirt as she puts her full weight on the back of my neck. I told her how much this hurts, but she is extremely grumpy and insists on it. Can anyone let me know if this is normal?

Doctor Answers (4)

Care after plastic surgery

+1

I have been in this business for 25 years and cannot imagine any reasonable patient needing the care you describe or subjecting a friend to this unpleasant treatment.  I'd suggest she visit her doctor immediately to be sure her healing is according to their schedule and tell her you are done and she needs to get going on her own.  This is certainly reasonable at 2 weeks.


Seattle Plastic Surgeon
5.0 out of 5 stars 47 reviews

Abusive Treatment of Care Taker after Surgery

+1

Regarding  : "Helping Post-Op Plastic Surgery Patients
Hi All, I have a close relative who recently underwent a major, cosmetic surgery. For about 2 weeks she needs my help getting in and out of bed, chairs, car, etc. I don't mind that at all, but instead of her letting me help her with my hands...she has insisted on me squatting down and pulling on my T-shirt as she puts her full weight on the back of my neck. I told her how much this hurts, but she is extremely grumpy and insists on it. Can anyone let me know if this is normal
?"

Your question has much more to do with manners and Psychiatry than it has to do with Plastic Surgery.

I have been a Plastic surgeon for many years and I cannot think of a patient who needed the kind of MAJOR help you describe over 2 weeks after the surgery. Moreover, to require their helper to be treated the way you are treated, in my opinion, reflects OTHER inner unresolved issues. Most patients may be grumpy for a few days but are always thankful for their friends' and families support. This does not appear to be the case here.

You are right to question her attitude. Now you may want to question your relation.

Sorry.

Dr. Peter Aldea

Peter A. Aldea, MD
Memphis Plastic Surgeon
5.0 out of 5 stars 58 reviews

Helping a friend after surgery

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Your close relative is not behaving in a way that would make me want to continue to help her.  You are doing her a favor, and she should at least respect that you would prefer not to be injured in the process!  I realize she is recovering from surgery right now, and she's focused on herself, but you should be able to discuss this with her and find a solution that suits both of you. 

Carmen Kavali, MD
Atlanta Plastic Surgeon
4.5 out of 5 stars 17 reviews

Altered behavior after cosmetic surgery

+1

This doesn't sound normal but perhaps she is either concealing surgery she has had and doesn't want you to lift her by the arms because she has incisions there or some other reason. Alternatively, maybe she finds this the least painful way of rising from a seated position

Otto Joseph Placik, MD
Chicago Plastic Surgeon
5.0 out of 5 stars 41 reviews

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