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Women I need your input on this issue

  • JVE
  • Atlanta, GA
  • 2 years ago

Ok, so I got a tummy tuck back in July, ive stayed out of dating anyone and have not pursued anyone either seriously or casually because of it. I recently met someone who was actually pursuing me and we went out together, etc, and we ended up back at her house in her bed, she hesitated about going further when she saw the scar and asked about the scar and I told her about how it came to be that I had it which was due to not taking care of myself as a child up through the time I got it. Where if at all did I fault ? and Why do I feel so incredibly down about all this. I havent felt this down since before the surgery...Any input/advice would be highly appreciated because I don't think anyone who hasnt been in this situation understand. She hasnt called/texted me if she wanted to do something soon and to make matters more complicated we have classes together at school. I feel like a mess :*  Thank You.

Comments (6)

well said, Madison!
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Well ladies, I guess she wasn't into me but she never brought up the scar nor did I but I have a feeling that played a strong role in this...I guess this is where the depression part of the surgery either begins or worsens, can't really tell. It's difficult to really talk to anyone about this because so few people understand and it is difficult to talk about especially if trying to meet someone but I think my love life is in for an even rougher phase. I feel shitty, not about my decisions I guess but just about how this situation played out and how to deal with future ones.
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It is normal to have your ups & downs after this surgery. I hate my scar. But I hated how I looked before surgery more than I hate my scar. I am 10 months post op & it is fading more and more with each passing month. Yours will too. Are you happy with your results? I bet the next person who comes into your life will not care about the scar. Just take it slow with the next person who you would like to have a relationship with and when you feel the right time comes, have a talk with them about your surgery, why you did it, etc. (before getting intimate!). I can imagine how hurt you felt from the last situation, but believe me, everyone is not as shallow as that person was. Keep your chin up! We all are here for you!
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As your body is healing I would continue to work and find me. She wasn't the right girl for you. Take your time, you are special so don't be giving it away to those who have not earned your closeness. The scar will heal and all will be fine.
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Don't let that silly girl bring you down. A scar shouldn't scare anyone off. I recommend finding someone more mature. Also, to make you feel better, one of the most beautiful women I know is married to someone who also lost a lot of weight since his youth. He has not undergone a body lift (considered it), and it doesn't matter to her either way. I think she's just proud of how healthy he is now and the positive changes he's made.
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That sounds like she is behaving in a shallow way. I know it is hard, but you should move on. I could not imagine not liking someone because of a scar. I had my tt last April & my scar still shows & it is still ugly, but fading. It takes time. They say up to 2 years to fully heal. You will meet someone eventually who will not care about your scar. Don't feel guilty or down. You did this surgery for a reason, to feel better about yourself. Good luck.
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