Are second thoughts the closer surgery approaches normal?

By CautiouslyOptimistic on 23 Mar 2011

Hi, I am 9 weeks from surgery and I am wondering if anyone else had second thoughts the closer they approached the big day? I've been reading many accounts of the surgery, and have had friends who had the surgery done as well. And everyone seemed so sure and positive about it. But lately I find myself thinking "I am not THAT big" and "Do I really NEED this surgery". Has anyone else experienced the same thing? Are these just normal fears? I've never had surgery. And that scares me. But the big thing I seem to get stuck on is I've never had the feeling of "hate" towards my breasts that so many woman seem to talk about. Some days I really like them even though they hurt my back, neck, etc. They are "me". I am scared after the surgery I won't feel like "me" anymore and will regret it. As a background, I've had large (very large) breasts my whole life. I started wearing a bra at age 10, and I've never remembered being anything smaller than a C cup even when young. I am currently a 36G and I am 5'5". My large breasts have always been a huge part of my identity. And it scares me to change that, even though physically I know I really should do it (I have chronic daily neck and shoulder spasms and pain). I know I am all over the place here, but has anyone had the same feelings? Anyone out there that wasn't "100% sure" but did the surgery anyway. And how did you feel after the surgery? Thanks

Comments (8)

PaulaB 23 Apr 2011

Hi, I am 7 weeks from surgery and I have been having shifting thoughts day to day, one day I know absolutely that I am making the right decision and another day I think what am I doing? I think my second thoughts are from the fear of the surgery itself because I have never had major surgery. I know deep down that I am making the right decision and I am reminded every time my neck hurts or I have trouble finding a top that fits : ) I think it is probably normal to have these thoughts. I found that keeping a journal is helpful. I see you are much closer to your surgery now since you posted this...I wish you well and know you will be very happy!

LR128 27 Mar 2011

Yes I think it's normal to debate this in your mind. I never had any major surgery before either, but I decided I wanted to do this because it was the only way to significantly reduce the size of my breasts. I also had large breasts since about age 12, and spent nearly 30 years being uncomfortable with them (I'm 40). I really disliked how big they were, how weight loss affected them and the physical discomfort they caused me on a daily basis. It's been just over a month since my reduction and lift and I am thrilled so far. It sounds like you just need to weigh your options: can you continue to live with the daily neck and shoulder pain?

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 26 Mar 2011

The thought of any surgery is frightening. And since you have not ever had any previous surgery this is even more so than normal.

I did not have any thoughts of backing out prior to surgery. I was completely ready and excited to do this. But the thoughts I did have were in regards to size. One minute I wondered if they would be too small and the next worried he would not take enough. I just had to stop obsessing about it and trust my doctor. I told him what I wanted and he was able to deliver.

That was a bit of a roller coaster for me. In the end I am completely happy with my results and feel 100% better without all the extra weight on my back, neck and shoulders. My breasts were so uneven and nasty that this surgery needed to be done. The were hanging to my waist, nipples facing all different directions, and were each a different size. To be honest I was so excited that I could hardly stand it.

I felt so old lady like and wanted them gone. You need to be mentally ready on this decision. Make your list of pros and cons and then review several times.

My breasts were also a big part of my identity and I was tired of that. I no longer wanted to be the big busted short girl. I no longer wanted my breasts to enter the room before I did. Nor did I want that to be what people noticed first about me.

I am very happy with my decision and would do it all over again if they grew back.

seanswife 25 Apr 2011

I'm having the same trouble--going back and forth being worried that I will be too small or too big after the BR. You say you told the doctor what you wanted--what do you mean by that? Did you give a specific cup size that you were aiming for, or some other criteria? My PS does not guarantee sizes, so I'm wondering how I should say what I want.

CautiouslyOptimistic 25 Apr 2011

I am closer to the big day (4 weeks now) and I am a LOT more comfortable with the decision. I am actually excited for the new me :)

On thing my Dr recommended is to bring a "dream bra" to the surgery. Buy a bra you would like to fit into and bring it to your surgery. Then everyone is on the same page about size. Cause what I think a C cup and what he thinks is a C cup might not be the same thing.

Good luck!

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 25 Apr 2011

It was a combination of several things. He told me that he had to take a certain amount off in order for the insurance to cover the entire cost. So I said PLEASE get it covered.

We then talked about my size which is very small boned. He did ask what I thought was a good size for me and I told him a full B or small C. He also could not guarantee a final size but would do his best. He did not want to go too small. I was a full C for the first 6-8 months after surgery. But then after dropping all of the extra weight I went down to a B cup. Now more than anything I am lacking fullness. I am ok with this though.

Honestly the Breast Reduction is what made me drop the 70 pounds. It hurt to exercise prior to the surgery so I didn't do it and felt horrible. Once I got all of that off my chest I felt wonderful and driven to drop the weight. They really needed to be evened up and the nipples brought back into the proper position.

There is no guarantee of final size but they come pretty darn close to what you want.

seanswife 26 Apr 2011

Thanks so much for the insight. I really appreciate your responsiveness and your willingness to help! I think I'm probably going to aim for a full C, as although I am a size 4/6 I quite literally have big bones ;).

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 26 Apr 2011

I think a full C is perfect for a 4/6 frame.