Telling people

  • Blonde in bluffton
  • Bluffton, Sc
  • 2 years ago

I have told a few friends that I am getting a MM. I haven't gotten a ton of support. Basically 2of my friends has been supportive. 1 has had plastic surgerythe other is a supportive friend. My family- parents and siblings do not live near me. And I am not sure if I am going to tell them until after. I have gotten negative feed back from friends I am nervous enough I don't need any more negativity. 2 of my good friends I can tell are almost annoyed I am getting surgery. On the plus side my husband is very supportive. I don't know what to do about my friends and if I should tell my family before hand???

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I have told pretty much everyone, although I must admit that saying I had BR is much easier then then TT. For some reason I feel like the TT was just self indulgant. My breast were so large I feel most people would be more accepting of the BR. I like reading how others feel about the process.
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I personally have told a few close supportive friends..mom, dad, and hubby..no plans on telling kids until maybe later and I HAVE TO tell inlaws I don't want to but they will know...I don't think they'll be supportive other than that I don't want everyone to know and make it common knowledge..my aunts and stuff def don't need to give the black sheep who "didn't get blessed" with their "you know id like mine smaller, or you wont like have bigger boobs..." but yeah pretty much on a NEED TO KNOW basis..:0
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maybe someday Ill be like I did this and it rocked but for know its like my botox my secret to not looking a hot mess.
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I was "lucky enough" to need a hysterectomy. It's ok..I'm 49 and not in need of those parts anymore! Mommy makeover was something I had secretly wanted for some time and only recently had brought up to my husband. It turned out to be a great way to combine recovery and save some money, since some of the expenses were less with combined procedures. It worked out well that I was able to use the hysterectomy as my "cover story" for those that didn't need to know the whole story. I have told family and a few friends the full extent of my surgeries and they have all been supportive. The hysterectomy has allowed me to have 6 weeks paid surgical leave. I'm now into week 2 of my recovery.
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I've only told the people that needed to know so far. My husband, my boss (who is amazing and is giving me three weeks paid vacation, to make sure I heal all the way without overdoing it), and my colleagues. I'm seriously flat chested now, like a 34A, so when I come back to work with boobs, even if I'm only going for a C cup, it will be noticeable. Plus, I'm not ashamed of this decision in the least.
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I will doing a TT w/ muscle repair and lipo of the flanks. I have told close family members only and everyone is supportive and non-judgmental. However I don't want anyone else to know and was wondering what I could say to deflect them. It seems many people say hernia repair so maybe I'll say that too since I can't think of anything better.
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So my hubby told his boss that I'll be out for umbilical hernia repair and he acted surprised saying that you normally have surgery done soon after giving birth. My youngest is 5 so maybe that was not such a good lie. If anyone knows anything about umbilical hernia repairs, please let me know if I should change my story!
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Hi Aukje! You can totally do the hernia explanation... Although why was your hubby telling his boss?! Anyway, I didn't know I had a hernia until 2 years after my youngest was born, apparently its very common among petite women. I noticed a weird sensation when doing sit ups but didn't think much of it cause mine was not large enough to protrude. I went to my regular doctor because my back would hurt after exercise and she felt my tummy, did an ultra sound and confirmed an umbilical hernia. So...you can use that info to your advantage.
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Thanks gokusgirl! I will totally use your story as my cover ;-) Hubby had to tell his boss that I'm having surgery even though I have family coming to care for me because he might need to work from home at which point his boss asked what was the matter and that's when he said umbilical hernia repair.
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This is a very interesting thread to me! I think I have told 3 friends and my husband about the full reality of my surgery (hybrid TT and lift/implants). Everyone else, I am telling them that I am getting a hernia and diastasis repair. I'm not getting crazy big implants (270cc MP) and my ps seemed very confident that they would look natural. I will see my parents about 10 weeks postop, so that will be the test as to if I will get away with it, lol! I just don't want to be judged. I wouldn't be getting the BA if I didn't NEED the abdominal repair. The BA is just a great bonus!
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My family won't be supportive at all. I am 26 with 6 kids and a ruined body. I'm self conscious, insecure, and jealous. I shouldn't be though because I used to be a beautiful girl. I want that back. My family would say I'm selfish and that its a waist of money, immature and irresponsible. That I should spend it on so many other things. But they don't live in my skin everyday. I won't be talked out of this. It's what is best for me right now. So my husband and I are keeping it secret. We are saving extra money so he can stay home with the kids while I'm gone. I'm going to dra. Robles in Dominican Republic. I'll just wait and catch hell when I get back with a new body. They can cuss me out all they want then but at least Ill look and feel good taking their shit. Self esteem goes far.
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If this makes YOU happy. Do it! No one can live your life, your in control. Sadly, the cookie sometimes crumbles when your family isn't supportive. And if someone can't see pass your unhappiness, then sometimes you have to question their place in your life. Despite you not having support from family, you are your own best friend. Once your done, hug yourself because you are worth any and every transformation you decide to do. Safe Journey
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Thanks :)
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Your welcome
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I'm in the same situation about friends not being supportive. One person said I should be proud of my body because that's what motherhood does. Really??? I agree with Jelybean that some women are unhappy with themselves. I sometimes wish I hadn't shared my plans. My husband was hesitant at first but, after going to my consult with me he's reassured that I will be ok..
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I told my family about the tummy tuck only not the BA….I'm sure my brother thinks I am nuts but my mom was more supportive than I thought. So far so good.
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Im happy to hear you have support. God Bless you on all that you decide to do.
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I was the other way around :)
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No matter what you do in life to please you. There will always be someone waiting to bring you down. ESPECIALLY women. Some are so unhappy with themselves, and when they see another woman whom they assume is better than they are. Jealousy is sure to roar. It happens all the time, no matter where you are or what you do. The main thing I want to put out there. You will never please everyone, there will be people who intimidated by you ( even for the smallest things ). Keep your head held high, shoulders back because you are beautiful.
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I love this comment, Jelybean. Very wise words!

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Thanks Angiemcc :)
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I was SO excited I told **EVERYONE** lol...
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I'm in such a fix regarding who to tell as well.. i reckon my mom is supportive if i told her.. but then.. she'll definitely tell my sister and brother and dad and my sis is a blabber. then my mom will blab to her friends and all sigh sigh.. then to a friend i told, i get the "what do you have to cut off?? you're so skinny.." what can i say??? Clothes REALLY can make a difference. So, so far, I have only told my husband and he has gone from unsupportive to supportive. I guess it's good enough for me! Now I'm just hoping my kids don't blab about "mom is in hospital" to anyone and get anyone concerned abut my health. I'm so hoping to get this mm and recovery done and over with so i can stop obsessing about these things. It's not helping my recovery, doesn't add value but annoys the heck out of me!! Sorry for the ranting :( I just needed to get this out of my system :(((((
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Hi there! Only 3 people know that I'm had a MMO (hubby and two friends). The rest I simply told that I was having a hernia repair (which I was) I just opted not to tell them anything else I was having done. I would suggest to limit the people that know, this way you are not worried about who knows what. Or tell them you are having a hernia repair...this way they know you had surgery . Good luck to you!!
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I'm sorta chuckling to myself reading some of these replies. Mostly my family has been supportive, although my mom is worried but she had a BR 2 years ago and I'm glad she had the experience or she would be a wreck. My grandmother is jealous, lol. Gotta love a woman who at 75 says, "do you think I'd like your PS? Maybe you should schedule me an appointment?" My husband and friends are supportive enough, although they don't want to talk about it, and that's all I want to do right now!! BUT, my sister was really unsupportive :( I asked her to help me the day of surgery and she shot me down, then said, "I'm not sure what you are thinking, sure you will have a flat stomach, but what about your fat everywhere else?" Thanks. I told on her, lol, to my mom and she said she is just jealous. HAHAHA, love my mom. Thanks for the thread revival, lots of helpful responses here.
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