Telling people

  • Blonde in bluffton
  • Bluffton, Sc
  • 1 year ago

I have told a few friends that I am getting a MM. I haven't gotten a ton of support. Basically 2of my friends has been supportive. 1 has had plastic surgerythe other is a supportive friend. My family- parents and siblings do not live near me. And I am not sure if I am going to tell them until after. I have gotten negative feed back from friends I am nervous enough I don't need any more negativity. 2 of my good friends I can tell are almost annoyed I am getting surgery. On the plus side my husband is very supportive. I don't know what to do about my friends and if I should tell my family before hand???

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I've only told the people that needed to know so far. My husband, my boss (who is amazing and is giving me three weeks paid vacation, to make sure I heal all the way without overdoing it), and my colleagues. I'm seriously flat chested now, like a 34A, so when I come back to work with boobs, even if I'm only going for a C cup, it will be noticeable. Plus, I'm not ashamed of this decision in the least.
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I will doing a TT w/ muscle repair and lipo of the flanks. I have told close family members only and everyone is supportive and non-judgmental. However I don't want anyone else to know and was wondering what I could say to deflect them. It seems many people say hernia repair so maybe I'll say that too since I can't think of anything better.
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This is a very interesting thread to me! I think I have told 3 friends and my husband about the full reality of my surgery (hybrid TT and lift/implants). Everyone else, I am telling them that I am getting a hernia and diastasis repair. I'm not getting crazy big implants (270cc MP) and my ps seemed very confident that they would look natural. I will see my parents about 10 weeks postop, so that will be the test as to if I will get away with it, lol! I just don't want to be judged. I wouldn't be getting the BA if I didn't NEED the abdominal repair. The BA is just a great bonus!
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My family won't be supportive at all. I am 26 with 6 kids and a ruined body. I'm self conscious, insecure, and jealous. I shouldn't be though because I used to be a beautiful girl. I want that back. My family would say I'm selfish and that its a waist of money, immature and irresponsible. That I should spend it on so many other things. But they don't live in my skin everyday. I won't be talked out of this. It's what is best for me right now. So my husband and I are keeping it secret. We are saving extra money so he can stay home with the kids while I'm gone. I'm going to dra. Robles in Dominican Republic. I'll just wait and catch hell when I get back with a new body. They can cuss me out all they want then but at least Ill look and feel good taking their shit. Self esteem goes far.
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If this makes YOU happy. Do it! No one can live your life, your in control. Sadly, the cookie sometimes crumbles when your family isn't supportive. And if someone can't see pass your unhappiness, then sometimes you have to question their place in your life. Despite you not having support from family, you are your own best friend. Once your done, hug yourself because you are worth any and every transformation you decide to do. Safe Journey
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Thanks :)
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Your welcome
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I'm in the same situation about friends not being supportive. One person said I should be proud of my body because that's what motherhood does. Really??? I agree with Jelybean that some women are unhappy with themselves. I sometimes wish I hadn't shared my plans. My husband was hesitant at first but, after going to my consult with me he's reassured that I will be ok..
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I told my family about the tummy tuck only not the BA….I'm sure my brother thinks I am nuts but my mom was more supportive than I thought. So far so good.
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Im happy to hear you have support. God Bless you on all that you decide to do.
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I was the other way around :)
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No matter what you do in life to please you. There will always be someone waiting to bring you down. ESPECIALLY women. Some are so unhappy with themselves, and when they see another woman whom they assume is better than they are. Jealousy is sure to roar. It happens all the time, no matter where you are or what you do. The main thing I want to put out there. You will never please everyone, there will be people who intimidated by you ( even for the smallest things ). Keep your head held high, shoulders back because you are beautiful.
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I love this comment, Jelybean. Very wise words!

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Thanks Angiemcc :)
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I was SO excited I told **EVERYONE** lol...
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I'm in such a fix regarding who to tell as well.. i reckon my mom is supportive if i told her.. but then.. she'll definitely tell my sister and brother and dad and my sis is a blabber. then my mom will blab to her friends and all sigh sigh.. then to a friend i told, i get the "what do you have to cut off?? you're so skinny.." what can i say??? Clothes REALLY can make a difference. So, so far, I have only told my husband and he has gone from unsupportive to supportive. I guess it's good enough for me! Now I'm just hoping my kids don't blab about "mom is in hospital" to anyone and get anyone concerned abut my health. I'm so hoping to get this mm and recovery done and over with so i can stop obsessing about these things. It's not helping my recovery, doesn't add value but annoys the heck out of me!! Sorry for the ranting :( I just needed to get this out of my system :(((((
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Hi there! Only 3 people know that I'm had a MMO (hubby and two friends). The rest I simply told that I was having a hernia repair (which I was) I just opted not to tell them anything else I was having done. I would suggest to limit the people that know, this way you are not worried about who knows what. Or tell them you are having a hernia repair...this way they know you had surgery . Good luck to you!!
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I'm sorta chuckling to myself reading some of these replies. Mostly my family has been supportive, although my mom is worried but she had a BR 2 years ago and I'm glad she had the experience or she would be a wreck. My grandmother is jealous, lol. Gotta love a woman who at 75 says, "do you think I'd like your PS? Maybe you should schedule me an appointment?" My husband and friends are supportive enough, although they don't want to talk about it, and that's all I want to do right now!! BUT, my sister was really unsupportive :( I asked her to help me the day of surgery and she shot me down, then said, "I'm not sure what you are thinking, sure you will have a flat stomach, but what about your fat everywhere else?" Thanks. I told on her, lol, to my mom and she said she is just jealous. HAHAHA, love my mom. Thanks for the thread revival, lots of helpful responses here.
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After reading all these comments I am thanking GOD for all the support I am getting!! I am thinking it is a double standard. Women are so hard on each other. Because people see a "skinny" girl they figure what could you possible need done, people see me a "thick"girl and wonder what could you do to fix you. We are all fixing what we see in the mirror!! The key is being happy with your self. The people that are negative are jealous and not happy with themselves!!!!! Surgery can not fix or help a negative unhappy person!! So those people need to seek therapy!! I tell everyone!! Probably too many people!! The only drama I have received is from my sister in laws! And I know that is all JEALOUSY!!!!!
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Funny, Blonde. I just came across this thread even though we have been back & forth chatting on my review. I'm really in the same boat as you with not wanting to tell a lot of people. Most family I don't want to tell... I'm pretty thin, so if you saw me in clothes, you'd think I was batshit crazy for wanting to have surgery, but I don't like the damage my pregnancies and a crappy lipo job did and I'd feel so much more comfortable having it fixed. People never see that, of course. There's always going to be someone who has it worse than I do, but when I stand naked in front of my mirror every day, those people who are worse off are nowhere to be found and I'm the only person I have to compare to. Not only do I not really want to have to convince people that this is the right thing to do, but I also don't really want people to have any idea as to the kind of money we are spending on it.

I've told a few close friends so far, but as for family, we have only told them that I'm having my c-section scar revised again bc it is bothersome and that they are fixing the umbilical hernia that was recently discovered at the same time. Not really lying and at least they know I will be undergoing surgery, but also not telling them the full details. Oops! lol Anyway, thanks for being a supportive realself friend!
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NJ- I ended up telling 1 sister. Then my niece who lives in SC blabbed it to my BIL. Which kinda made me made seeing as she was the 1 who was supposed to watch my kids during the surgery(that's why I told her) and then backed out! I have 5 siblings so 2 know- I wish it was just the 1 I told.....
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Ugh! I hope none of my friends blab! But I'm also worried that my silicone 400cc HP's will blab for me afterwards. Lol. I guess I can just tell ppl I got that bombshell bra from VS that makes your boobs two sizes bigger.
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Lol! Your 400's may:-) Yea I was thinking the same thing when I visit my family what am u going to say...
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I am worried about this too! I am supposed to go back to what I was before losing all my volume, but I am afraid of how high and swollen they will be and until they fall into place there is nothing I can do. Oh well. It is not enough to deter me from having it done! =)
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Thanks so much for replying after my comment. I have told my mum that I am getting it done and the kids know I am but not when. I'm going to tell them that I am going to prague to check out a clinic and have a spa week and then come back with it done. You are so right shelly this is about me and not about other peoples opinions but wow do they try and make you feel guilty! Ivy that pressure is bad I know exactly what you mean I was thinking of telling my son he's not going out of the house ever again because his risk of being in a car accident is so high see what he says! blonde it sounds like youre experiencing the jealousy issue too why do they do that? no one is stopping them from having it done. I'm just gonna have to follow my gut and go for it I think thank you sooo much for your support I was starting to doubt myself but now having a nike and loreal moment "I'm gonna just do it, cos I'm worth it" haha xx
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