How about that Stinking Thinking??

  • mom_me
  • USA
  • 3 years ago

I'm talking about the bad days or even the bad parts of the days. I am like most everyone else here in that I am absolutely thrilled that I did this. I wanted it dreamed about it planned it and never once wanted to back out of it. I couldn't wait until it was my day and was thrilled when I woke up and it was all done. There is pain we can't lie but they do thier best to help us with that, still just those first few days and nites can be WOW. We do manage to get around it though like sleeping in chairs and recliners so that getting up to pee isn't the traumatic event it can be if you are lying down in bed, even propped up. I think my biggest problem is all the thinking. I would normally be so busy I wouldn't have time to worry about it but being limited in activities is sending my brain into  overload. I find myself being weepy at how other people are responding. EX: my husband saying he thought they would be bigger and that's before all the swelling has gone down and they haven't dropped yet either. I thought OMG he probably thinks he wasted the money etc. and of course having him help me change bandages and stuff he sees what they look like right now and can't imagine (neither can I) what they will look like when all is said and done. It feels like Frankenboobs!!! I asked my boys today one is 25 the other 17 I said ok so are these offensive to you guys? Just wearing that lovely support bra and a not tight top and they said yes they thought they were very different. I'm confused!!! They are still high which I explained to them but I haven't shown one bit of cleavage or anything so I don't understand. My sister says send me pictures of your Dolly Pardon boobs, my cousin asked me if I had to go back to get the implants put in when she visited me after surgey????? I wish I could just hide away and heal on my own. So there is definately some stinking thinking going on in my head and I don't think  I am alone on this. I am only 13 days post op and so thankful for the way I am healing so far and how good I feel most of the day. It feels like my PS laced me up like a freakin ballerina on the inside everytime I go to sit down or get up. But I'm damn sure that when the healing is done and the swelling subsides  am gonna thank him unmeasurably for.  I can't sleep any other way than on my back which sucks because I have such a big curve at the bottom that being hunched over for that first week and then sleeping flat on it. I am trying to stay positive and be patient but feel like I need to keep explaining things to everyone else and I'm tired of it. I'm going to get another shower now because it's the only thing that makes me feel better. I don't want to be anything but happy about this and I know it takes time but my patience is wearing thin with others impatience! Here's a wise statement from a 48 year old woman who should know better by now. Do NOT ask questions that you don't really want the answers to!!! SO if anyone else is or has had some stinking thinking you are not alone...

Comments (9)

Yes it will! I am seven months out now and I can't figure out how time went so fast. Those first weeks and even a month or two is all about bouncing back but we do and then it's bliss from there out! You have so much to look forward to now and I'm happy for you. We go through this...we are women but we do it and here at RealSelf we do it together. xoxoxo
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Mom_me. THANK YOU for posting this and directing me to it.
I AM SO GLAD I AM NOT ALONE! I am now 13 days post op. I think I am physically doing well really. day 6 drain came out. I didn't mind being helped TO much for the first week. but here in week 2 it's all had. I had a moment the other night so I will share. The tape from by breast lift was removed and I was thrilled to see things looked good. Well it was time for bed and time to change the dressings. My husband had been such a help I was excited for him to see the progress and everything was good. Mind you he has been wonderful. His comment was. "Thants one mean looking scar" I almost imediantly started to cry..He would never in a million years mean I Was not attractive... He simply ment it looked like it hurt.. But in my mind I think fear took over and with all the emotions of feeling helpless, I just was hurt... He mentioned that he had to go back to work to get some rest.. and mentions how tired he is but we all are.
Just knowing that MANY of us have emotional monments makes me feel a little more normal. I want to be nothing but thrilled with the "new" me and I am so excited that this time of my life has begun. We will soon be alone with the kids all moving out and so maybe some of the emotion is from that. (I'm sure) So with this summer coming and my husband and I planning on doing a lot of fishing (we love it) boating and vacations I think I agree this will all be just a distant memory....
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They will pass hon, alot of it has to do with being good to yourself. You are still healing and more than likely you are used taking care of others and don't think twice about sitting down putting your feet up and icing that tummy and boobs...try to though ok. Your back probably hurts alot too mine did and I think this misery causes us to be down and see things worse than they are. :) I'm gonna check the rest of your progress now.
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wow i have had some of the same emotions!
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Thank you ladies and I just wanted to say now that that time truly is a distant memory for me but I'm glad I found this to come back to because it's just like Angie said NORMAL...and at that time we feel anything but normal. Thank you Angie!!!!
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I'm three weeks too at recovery and I still feel sore. My husband too seems impatient with my recovery. At 10 days we did a bday party for him with 20 people, at two weeks we hit the road in his convertible BMW for week to visit the inlaws 7 hours away. I own my own co. so I've had to keep up with that too. Ugh. My shape looks amazing, but my breasts seem too large (320 high rise implants) plus I'm pretty thick anyway. I like a sportier look, rather than "boobs." I refuse to look closely at my tt scar, although from a distance in the mirror and squinting so I don't gross myself out it looks low and thin. I'm horrified to look at my belly button which right now just a huge black scab. When does that go away? I'm also pretty swollen, so trying to stay in compression garments (fun in July). I think I'm starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel though...
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I'm sorry you're having a hard time emotionally. From what I've read, I think it's very common. This is a long, hard recovery, and not just physically. Give everyone time to adjust to your new looks and they'll come around. You've been envisioning it for ages, but they haven't. And your sons...I'm sure they're wonderful, but of course boys don't want to think about their mother's breasts. They'd probably be happiest if we bound them down and dressed in muumuus every day. :)

Thanks for your post here on RealSelf!

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I'm sure you are right Angie and I did tell them that I was always discrete about the real ones I had too. They agreed and I think they are just afraid I'll be showing them off to the world and that's not the case at all. They will see in time. My spirits are so lifted today because I got my drain out and I feel like I've been unplugged and sent home from the hospital. I hope people do get a chance to read what I wrote because there are those days and today is only two weeks post op for me but I'll say it again. I would do this without hesitation all over, those few bad days are going to be a distant memory. I just want them to know they are not crazy or selfish or alone when they have those moments.
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I so understand everything you wrote. My doctor is very conservative in his recovery approach, so my poor husband is worn out from everything he has to do. I still cant do ANYTHING...Just got my 2nd drain out today and still can't drive...I am 3 weeks post op. At 2 weeks, my husband announced after I am healed, he is going to go away for a couple of days ALONE to recover. So, here I am thinking - he can't wait to get away from me! I didn't say anything to him for about 4 days how much that hurt - but, he explained it wasn't me he was trying to get away from...it was all of the outside work and inside work he has been doing. He is really a sweetheart, but boy did I take that wrong :) Don't think he realized how fragile my mental state is during all of this. I am dependent on other people for everything - so ready to be a big girl again...lol
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