Reconstruction = Mental Anxiety = family support
Byon 25 Jun 2012
I had my surgery in Feb 2012. I had alot of issues and multiple surgeries, a wound vac, and a very slow expansion. Everyone says I look fine. I had Bilateral mastectomy 2/11; implants 10/11; reconstruction/scar release 2/12; nipples 5/12 and at least one more reconstruction to look forward to. I have chest wall pain, my pectoral muscle is so tight it wakes me up at night and I still dont feel comfortable sleeping on my stomach. Recently my family (single parent i am) has started treating me like the pre-cancer patient. Expecting me to help when there is family event that requires manual labor or manual activity (sports). I cant do it. I walk every day, i eat better than previously but I just dont have the upper body strength to keep up and am frightened to risk injuring my self or my breasts. I've already gone to the ED once for anxiety. possible heart attack. I'm not a complainer but with 9 siblings who like to keep score make me feel like a freak and constantly remind me they help me all the time... Why didnt i come help with the retaining wall. or help move a sister or whatever they decide their latest project is. I feel horrible that they spend time talking about me behind my back. We're currently in a two week stand-off because i didnt help unload a moving truck and they have helped me move twice in the last year. Seriously?..... I cried for 2 days two weeks ago and then one of them had the nerves to call and tell me they all re-hashed my laziness and selfiness over a BBQ. Another two days of crying. They think i'm ridiculous.- They dont understand this is both mentally and physically exhausting. I love my care givers, my PS is fabulous, My friends are good. But my family sucks. I'm the only one with an illness. The others are all healthy and married, i'm widowed, alone and my son is a drain on me too ($$ and emotionally) he leaves me alone if i just give him money. I dont wish this on anyone but I wish my family would understand i'm not taking advantage of them I just cant do everything they seem to think i should be able to do or used to do.