Is anyone having Pre-Surgery identity crisis like I am? 34 DDD to a 34 C yikes

  • Double DDs
  • New York
  • 2 years ago

Hi Cyber Boobies sisters, so I'm a 29 year old woman who's had large breast for as long as I can remember I think my training bra was a 34 b. anyway as much as I want smaller breasts and pain relief I'm afraid that I will not be "me" with smaller boobs. As silly a it sounds I've identify myself as a big breasted woman. Looking in the mirror that aren't the most youthful or even beautiful breast in the world but they're mine. I guess I say all of this to say are any of you scared out of your mind that post surgery you won't "like" having a smaller bust size? If you had this problem howd you overcome it?   Signed Scared Big Boob Chick..

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Hi MomOfThreeInNC,
Having a BR is a brave step to take. In many cultures, breasts are seen as sex objects, baby feeders and something men like to look at, touch, feel and play with. The bigger the better in many men's eyes. Even women with small breasts will 'envy' those of us with big ones and on the surface, life with 'big boobs' appears to be something advantageous and sometimes very sought after - look at how many women have enhancements.
For those of us who are on this website, we know the reality of living with big boobs. The pain, discomfort, the lack of choice in exercise, dancing, swimming and wearing nice bras and clothing etc.
As women with big breasts we spend alot of time either reading about a BR, getting the courage to go to the Dr, sorting out payment which for me in the UK is an NHS system for a few or for many including me, I am paying for my BR on a private basis. My PS said it all for me. 'It is re-constructive surgery to ease pain symptoms, not a cosmetic procedure'.

MomOfThreeInNC. You are a brave lady!
You have stopped smoking - not easy for anyone under stress, especially those about to have an operation. You have sorted out all the necessary details to go ahead with your BR. What I find sad about your posting is how you 'prayed for breast cancer' to get a BR. Its your body, your health, your emotional health and happiness which is very important here. Change is a threatening thing to some people. They fear change in others especially a partner because change is the outcome. Usually change for the better. That change whether its education, hair colour, new job or a BR is a positive part of your life which enhances YOU! No one and I mean no one ) who loves and respects you, can judge you for making YOUR life better. Especially when its a decision about whether to have painful shoulders, back, neck ache, etc and to have surgery to stoip that from happening. If the 'side effect' of that surgery is to look better than you did before the BR - then great! How lovely to have such a 'side-effect'!!
Life can throw us some strange situations and when we make such an important decision for ourselves, it can bring out strange reactions in others, whether its our mums, sisters, friends or partners. Change can sometimes help us see what others mean to us in terms of their support. When you need such help and support, at a time when you feel vulnerable and want something just for you-people can show their 'other side', or their jealous side, especially if you are the kind of person who always does things for others and puts yourself last. I think that applies to all, if not many mums/women and for those of us who want a BR its an intensely personal decision as we have all demonstrated on here. A decision made over a period of years if not decades! Now that is well thought through!!
Whatever you decide - do it for you.
If you can, have a discussion with your hubby and stress how important this is for you, how hurtful his remarks are and how they make you feel. Change can make some people behave in strange ways and they dont have any insight (or very little) about the impact their remarks can have on you. Explore this with hubby and try to get the support you need and want to get you through your BR. Face anything else post op but for now be strong and get through this op for you. Love and best wishes
Deb-UK X x x x
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Thank you, Deb… xoxoxo!!!! I told him I’m not doing this to be a hot Mom or MILF or whatever. I know my waist down needs work (hell, I quit smoking, right? Food tastes REALLY good now, I’m just sayin’…) It’s all about the comfort for me.

Thank you SO much for your kind words and encouragement. Up till six months ago, my insurance would not approve anyone’s reduction surgery, because they felt it cosmetic? They’ve since changed, which is why I’ve gone ahead and gotten the ball rolling. My husband has had three surgeries on his neck/spine since 07 and honestly? We were recovering financially from those, and working to get him on his feet and ok, and I put my stuff on the back burner. I mean, his neck/back/shoulder pain are permanent…but I can’t do around here like I need to with the pain I have, so I went for it.

I’m not turning back. Waited too long and have come too far.

Thank you again, Deb!!!!
Hi MomOfThreeInNC,
You are very welcome. Stay positive and strong.
Lots of love x x x
Hi, Ladies...I just got back from my second appointment with my PS...and it looks like this is really going to go down...

For those of you married or with SO's, have you or did you notice that they are commenting on larger breasted women, or am I just having an issue with pre-inferiority? I am a 42DD at this point, and shooting for a nice, safe "B" cup, and my husband, while all for my not being in pain all the time, LOVES the girls the way they are.

I told him today it would behoove him to start panting over smaller breasted women on tv, LOL...I have ALWAYS been the girl with the big bewbs...
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lol... Yes I do notice it too.

I am a 40H and desire a D-DD . My hubby adores my breasts. He was pointing out big busted wemon who were showing them off saying things like "That's what I'm talking about !"

I actually had a talk with my hubby. I explained to him that I was feeling a little sensative and that I really needed him to be more supportive. I told him that his boob comments were making me worry even more. I explained to him everything about the procedure that worried me (mostly the anastheia). I said on top of off everything else I was now worried that he would not find me attractive after my BR.

He has since then been very supportive and reasuring . He says he will still think I am "HOT"
You are so lucky. My husband and I had a huge blow up last night because while I was on the phone with my mom,, he was making comments in the background about how it’s going to be like “doing a boy with a vagina” only substitute slang for “doing” and “vagina.”

He then went into a rant about how, if I think I am disproportionate now, how would I look with my big stomach and butt and no boobs, and if I lose weight, I will have NO chest at all (and he says that like it’s a bad thing?). He would NOT let up and I finally looked at him and said that it isn’t about appearance, it’s about comfort and did he know what it was like to pray for breast cancer just so the girls could simply get gone?

He was really hurtful and I’m not sure how this is going to affect my marriage, and if it really DOES affect my marriage? Then it wasn’t really a marriage to begin with, was it? :(
Oh, and yes, I gained weight. I had to quit smoking in order for the doctor to agree to do my surgery, so I have been nicotine free for almost 7 weeks, so yes, I put on some weight…but exercise HURTS because I have to wear an underwire and a sports bra and still hold my chest.
I went into my PS for a visit last week. I'm sure I said I wanted to end up a D cup on my form but she said she'll make me about a C cup...uh nope. I know she can't tell me exactly what size I'll end up but if I'm worried that her idea of a C cup is too small for me. She says trust her. I think I'll mention D cup again at the post op meeting. My husband is going to that one too, he'll be mortified if I end up a small C. I'm pretty sure he's really nervous for me too, no one wants to see their loved one go into surgery.

Wow it's this month! 27 more days. Yeah I'm nervous
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My hubby and I feel the same way I am currently an H cup and a D-DD is our target size. am more I worried about being to small. I would rather be a little big than a little too small. BR sceduled for May 25.
I feel the exact same way! My whole life ive been covering them up. Im scheduled for May 2nd. The day couldnt come sooner!! I cant wait to go bra shopping after. Zing, my boyfriend loves my boobies too lol! Im worried he wont like them after either but hes been very supportive and assures me everything is going to be okay!! Still super nervous though!
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Now that my hubby knows I am really getting this BR done he has stood right up to the plate. He is being so sweet about the whole thing. He cays he is certin he will love what ever I have. :O) Although I am really thinking maybe he shouldn't see them for a LONG time. My hubby is the fainting
Double DDs ; My surgery is set for May 25th I am scared one day and excited the next.
I feel the same way as N1021 ... "I don't want normal I just don't want gigantic!. " . My biggest feer deep down is that my husband won't like my new breasts. I have huge breasts now and he adores them. I do not HATE them but I am really ready for reliefe. Not to mention the very real fact that gravity is starting to be very mean to me ... :O( ... lol ... I know a "D" is what my PS is aiming for but if I wind up a "C" I will just cry. He has assuered me I will be a "D-DD" so I am crossing my fingers and trusting in him for that. I hav been bra "Window shopping" a few times now and I am so excited. I actually saw a bra a size 42 DD for $9.00 at JC penny's. $9.00 !!!! I can't emagine spending so little on a bra. My bras cost me $48.00 - 75.00 a bra. My hubby might have to hide my debit card after thir
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Zing, sure your husband will love your breast, because you will be more comfortable and confident with smaller but NOT small ones! Nothing is more sexy than a woman with confidence!!! I can't believe I'm having it done on FRIDAY!!! My boyfriend is not much of a breast man, he isn't very vocal about it, when I told him I was scared he said "just think you won't be in pain" so it helps me out a little bit knowing he knows what I go thru... My friends and family are supportive, as the day get closer I just feel anxious and worried about NOT being self sufficient. I can't imagine being dependent for any amout of time let alone about 2 weeks. So I just have to come to grips with this or drive myself crazy!
Thanks, I sure hope so. I can't wait for reliefe and to actually wear a top without looking like I am trying to show the girls off. I wish you all the best of luck and a speedy recovery too. I am so excited for you. How long after your surgery is your post-op sceduled ? are you getting drains ?
I don't know when my post op is scheduled, I have my pre op tomorrow. My doctor uses drains I'm hoping when I'm checking out of the hospital they'll remove them. I've seen some of the ladies on here have had there's removed quickly.
OMG that is me! Total boob crisis. I have been big all my life. I identify with that and so do all my friends. People say they'll be proportianate..I don't think I want that...I don't want normal I just don't want gigantic! Does that make sense. Asking for a D cup since to me that is much smaller than me now. Haven't been a C since grade 8.
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I can't really help you or give advice due to the fact that I am still pre-op but I can say I understand your concerns, I have a few of my own. There are so many things to worry about. This is scary and exciting at the same time. I am really trying to focuse on the good "What if's" .... What if I can fit a nice tops properly, What if someone notices my face, my hair, our even my outfit before my breasts for once? What if I start being noticed for being nice or funny instead of big busted ? What if I could exercise comfortabley and my aches and pains were less or GONE ! I hope this helps :O)
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44H/42I goint to a 42D
Zing I'm so with you on this, I work out and all the guys gawk at my breast. I want to wear a normal bra and actually have a matching set. I'd love to wear a bikini and not look perverted!!! So I guess your right when is your BR? Thanks for the words of encouragement