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Those of you post TT. Do you at all feel like you "cheated?"

By Dreamarie on 18 Feb 2011

I don't mean this to be insulting at all. I have my breast lift and tummy tuck scheduled for, March 2nd. Less than two weeks! I am struggling with whether I will feel like I "cheated" when others tell me how great I look etc. Do you ever feel that way, or do the results trump those feelings?

Comments (27)

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Washington3289 20 Feb 2011
I have felt the same way!!! My FTT is scheduled for March 1st.

I've already lost and met my goal weight - been at my weight for 16 months now and people tell me often how good I look. I can graciously accept those compliments as I know I worked my butt off in the gym and ate a great diet...

Now, knowing I'm about to have my FTT, I DO feel like I'm cheating! It's one of those feelings, again, that I thought it was only me, but am pleased to feel you kinda feel the same.

I've told NO one (except husband, mom and son) that I'm having this done. Not even my brothers, dad, friends, etc. It feels like this is my "dirty little secret" (DLS).

Not sure how to get past feeling this way, but until I find a way, it will remain my "DLS"!
3/03 happymommyof3 20 Feb 2011
I too have a dirty little secret! Lol... No one knows except my boyfriend and close family. My employer thinks I am just taking vacation time....but the way I see it, I have had a dirty little secret for 14 years and have gotten really good at hiding my saggy belly....this is the last secret! I can't wait to feel good naked again!
3/24/11 21 Feb 2011
amen!! 2 kids and 50lb dont have the right to feel happy about me?
Augusta8729 12 Mar 2011
Cheating!!! Noway.
I gave birth to two eight pound babies by C-section. I gained 60 plus pounds and had horrible stretch marks as well. I joined WW lost all the baby weight plus a little extra only to be left with a jelly belly. I like another responder when sharing my thought of having a TT was told that I was so small and fit and when I show them my stomach they looked greatful that it was not them and gave me their blessing. I feel that we DESERVE to feel good about our bodies without anyone chatting about it.
I have not told anyone except a close friend who was very excited for me and my husband and kids of course.
I feel very lucky to be able to have the procedure, you should not feel for one moment that you cheated. We all deserve to feel comfortable in our own skin.
3/03 happymommyof3 20 Feb 2011
I don't know if I feel as though I am "cheating" but I do often feel like I am being selfish....not just because of the money but also the time down and not caring for the family and also struggle with....is this really necessary? My mini TT is scheduled on March 3rd....just 11days away. We are not cheating ladies! We all have worked hard to get here wheather losing weight or bearing children or both....we deserve to do something for us....and we deserve to feel beautiful! Good luck to all of us on the new chapter in our lives! Can't wait to see all the beautiful girls on here in bikinis in a few months!!!
Dreamarie 20 Feb 2011
Thanks for your replies. I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way. My body has been through a lot (4 kids in 3 1/2 years, including twins) and I have worked hard to get the weight off. Now, I just need to tighten up all that flabby skin! I have told quite a few people, but not necessarily the "details." Usually I say I am having surgery to fix some things that happened after having kids. Most people understand that, and it is true!

Anyone deal with this that has already had a TT?
majatummy 20 Feb 2011
I had my tt/lipo 11 days ago. I didn't tell many people before because I didn't want to deal with other people's opinions, but I have been telling friends over the last few days, and it goes a long way to ease my guilt and sense of cheating. Let's face it, we all look at each other and envy those with the bodies we wish we had. I think it is good to be open with other ladies and have had really, really positive and supportive responses. Know what? I think almost every woman had a plastic surgery fantasy, at least that's what they are saying when I tell them about mine! And for the record, at 52, two grown kids, I am so amazed at how lovely my tummy and waist are now. Never, ever dreamed I could look like this, and I assume I'm still quite swollen. I'm really glad I did this.
Dreamarie 20 Feb 2011
Thank you for responding. This is great to hear and you are right about the fantasy part, thankful that I am able to make it a reality. Hope your recovery continues to go well!
Barbie892 21 Feb 2011
My guess is most men don't use the words "cheated" or "selfish" when they use Viagra, or if they avail themselves to the latest technology to attain whatever goals they have. Funny how women somehow feel guilty about doing something just for themselves.

My thinking is pretty direct - I work really hard to get what I want out of life and I don't cheat or feel selfish about what I do for me - ever. And then when I consider the extenuating circumstances that led me to my TT surgery, I deserved it big time and so does every other woman here. Our journeys my be different but the goal of self improvement is an honest one.
WendyL 21 Feb 2011
LOVE this. Amen, Barbie!
Daph 21 Feb 2011
No, I don't feel like I cheated. For one thing, isn't cheating supposed to be the "easy way out?" Nope, nothing easy about this! :)

Besides, I am really not concerned with what people think about me. I have told people and I am sure some think I am nuts and some are happy for me and it all works out in the cosmic wash.

Bodies are so personal that I am pretty sure that anyone who has a reaction to what I am doing with my body is filtering it through her feelings about her own body and I just can't go there. I have friends who have not been particularly supportive of my weight loss efforts and I am sure it's because they struggle with their own, so why would I want to give them any judgment rights over my TT?

I'm too old (55) to get fussed about it.
Dreamarie 21 Feb 2011
Thank you for your honest responses. What you have said makes me feel much better. This is for me and I'm not worried about what others think. Congratulations to all of you who are or have done this!
3/24/11 21 Feb 2011
omg..i feel like this too. my surgery is schedule for march 24th.. husband is the olny one who knows.. i dont want anyone to know, so they dont talk me out of it. it is alot of money and yes ill be down for a while.. but my kids and husband will be ok, right??
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 21 Feb 2011

The results totally trump those feelings.  It doesn't matter how you get there; what matters is that you did something to improve yourself and you deserve it :)
Cagirl1986 8 Mar 2011
Nobody believed me when i would say "i need a tummy tuck". They said "you look great you lost so much weight, you're crazy!" then i'd show them my stomach and they'd say..."oooh...im so sorry!" i feel like people are going to gossip when news gets around "oh she got a tummy tuck so that's WHY she looks so good now" =( but now im to the point of "SO WHAT!!!" =)
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 9 Mar 2011

That is right!  Who cares what others think.  Nobodys business so just stay away from the haters.
Country Gal 9 Mar 2011
I don't feel guilty. I tried to lose weight, but wouldn't ever have gotten rid of the flab. It's nobody's business and I don't tell them. If they say I look good, I'll just say I walk a lot.
Gia's 10 Mar 2011
I love this It's so funny some of the responses@ Happymommy you and me the same. It is really an exclusive club when a woman takes,plans and does something for herself with no regrets.I am one of those who never really had great relationships with women because I have always had the personality of not being afraid of saying,wanting,and going after what I want or need to make "Me" happy you know it always comes off as being a "B****" or too masculine "oohh she thinks she's better" but whats wrong with not compromising,what's wrong with wanting what's going to make me Happy.I have watched every woman in my life leave this earth NOT accomplishing their goals, my mom never finding true Love and ended up looking in the wrong places for it,my aunt with her health,my grandmother did a little better but in her generation she lived under restrictions and limitations,me I was always determined,I always did what I set out to do and now with a FLAT TUMMY!!Hell I didn't cheat non of us did we all "Qualified" for a Tummy tuck because we needed it,and did it because we wanted and deserved it,so I know I'm not alone when I say I'm going to enjoy it!You should be 8 days post op today Dreamarie hope all is well and looking forward to your updates.
Dreamarie 10 Mar 2011
Thank you all for your words! Thank you Gia, I am 8 days post-op and am doing great! I don't regret it for one minute and am more excited every day. My recovery has gone really well, I had four drains and am down to one and should get that out next week. Sleeping in my bed now and that has been great.

As far as this post, I have realized that what I did I did for me and no one else. My tummy is nice and flat and looking better every day. And my breasts are smaller and perky! :-)Most people won't even know I had anything done from looking at me because I hid myself so well. I feel like now, that my outside matches how I feel on the inside. I am a genuinely happy, energetic person and my large breasts and flabby tummy kept me from comfortably doing things I enjoy like running. Although I am still healing, I already feel 100% better than I did.

Thank you all for your comments and being on this journey together!
Washington3289 10 Mar 2011
Hells yea, Dreamarie!! I'm so happy for you and I, too, feel the same as you do!
Country Gal 10 Mar 2011
You're right Gia. I earned every stretch mark and blob of fat, from having and raising 3 kids. Now, they are grown, and this is my payback for everything I've done for them.
Country Gal 13 Mar 2011
Don't feel selfish for taking the time for yourself, either.

I don't have kids at home, in fact, my kids don't even know. I only told 2 sisters and my volunteer co-worker.

My hubby waited on me hand and foot for a week, getting me in and out of bed and recliner, taking me to the biffy, changing bandages and fixing leaks in the middle of the night; as well as cooking and dishes. He is still doing most of the cooking, laundry, dishes and cleaning - I only do the light stuff.

But, I don't feel selfish. Who do you think cooks, cleans, shops, does laundry, and raised those 3 kids for all those years?

And, the cost? Heck, what's 12 grand to make mama happy and feeling good about herself? This should last a long time if I am careful, and being miserable and embarrassed to walk around my own house naked would also last a long time. I think he's okay with this and the money aspect is no one else's business.
Madison5269 (RealFriend) 14 Mar 2011
I don't feel like I cheated by getting a TT. I have exercised regularly for years, eat right & nothing can fix my saggy loose skin. I look like a 39 year old with a 90 year old tummy. I have even looked into this surgery every year for the past 3 years, each time getting consultations. Then I say, well, maybe if I just do more abwork, etc., the skin will tighten. 3 years later, I am just so tired of working so hard & still having my belly look like this. So this is my year & I am so excited. I have not told anyone but my husband & kids, because I am so afraid of being judged like I am taking the easy way out.
majatummy 16 Mar 2011
All I know is now when I look in the mirror I see a dream come true. I have never, ever had such a pretty little tummy, even at 108lbs. I went out in a fitted outfit last weekend. I noticed how lovely it was NOT to feel bad or self concious about how I looked. This wasn't about gaining a good feeling, it was about losing a bad one that had haunted me for my whole adult life, eg feeling bad about my poochy tummy.
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 16 Mar 2011

Amen Girlfriend!!

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