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Negative attention from being thin after tummy tuck, what to do?

  • SuzQnew
  • Midwest
  • 5 months ago

I had a tummy tuck and lipo to the back and flanks 6 months ago. One year ago when I made up my mind to have surgery I knew I wanted to lose 20 lbs to be at my optimal weight. I lost 15 lbs before the surgery and a few since. I now weigh what I did when I was in my twenties and thirties. I've been keeping my tummy tuck secret to myself. But, People keep asking if I'm sick. I suppose I looked a bit peaked when I went back to work after the TT, and lately they ask if I've lost more weight. I chalk that up to the spring clothes I've been wearing. It does makes me question how my thin my face looks. At age 54 fat seems to easily get lost from the face. I keep telling these people who inquire about my thinness that I changed my eating habits, which is true, and the weight came off, also true. I told them if we lived in another country my current weight wouldn't be an issue. I wouldn't be considered "too thin" as some of them have told me. I live in United States and people are overweight here. I'm tired of people questioning me about why I lost weight. I work in a very public occupation. It's annoying because it's never a private conversation, and I'm sure my employees are tired of hearing me talk about it. Sorry for the frustrated rant I just had. Is anyone else coping with this issue?

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They are just jealous of how good you look most likely, so they are trying to find a reason for why this weight loss has worked for you and not for them. It's easier for them to believe that you must be ill than to acknowledge that you've actually been looking after yourself with a better diet and excercise and they have failed. Just tell them that you are now living a healthy lifestyle and are very happy with the outcome and might even lose a few more lbs and gain some muscle so you can look better than those 20 year olds. LOL ;) My mother is like that, she will bring it up that I've gained so much weight and when I finally start losing it then she complains that OMG I've lost so much weight. Everyone just needs to mind their own beeswax.
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Ugh… I had this problem too. Well, I actually still have it and I feel like there isn't anything I can do anymore but ignore the "concerned." I have a coworker who is completely convinced I have anorexia. I told her that at 5'2" 120 lb is not an underweight BMI. People keep asking if I am "ok." The thing is… I only weigh 1 lb less than before surgery, I just don't wear baggy clothes anymore. I'm sick of hearing "I'm just so concerned," etc. being thin is not anorexic, you have to have certain mental issues as well, which I do not exhibit any of those. I think worse than "I am concerned," is "you need to eat a cookie or something." I lost 120 lb, would it have been appropriate to say "look at yourself, should you REALLY be eating cookies?" back in the day? I really just have learned to ignore it and it's become background noise at this point. Hope you are dealing with it ok too.
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Tell them you do have cancer and where they can send the flowers! Sigh. Obviously just kidding. Seriously, I have never perceived bring told I was thin as negative! My best friend is chubby and has very low self esteem so she sometimes makes offhanded comments about how thin I am or make her look back or whatever...but I take that as her insecurity and I know that I am healthy. Or...coworkers will joke that I eat weird food or not enough. But again....it is their issue, not mine!
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LOL! You're right it is their issue not ours. I tell them all that type 2 diabetes runs heavily on the paternal side of my family and that I want to keep from getting it for as long as I can. I changed what I eat and the weight came off. I'm not a dieter I'm a person who eats to live and I've stopped fueling my body with junky processed food. Many of them, all overweight , say that if it's In my genes I'll get diabetes. I tell them maybe so, but not as soon as I would if I didn't taker care of myself!
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Tell them to tuck off! Seriously though, tell them politely that you're tired of talking about it and tired of sounding like a broken record.
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:-) I would love to tell them to "tuck" off! How fun would that be! But, I work in a professional position which is paid for with taxpayer dollars. I've really tried to be polite about it. At first these people were curious and concerned whether I was ill. Now I'm feeling like they are getting just a tad judgmental. I just had another one ask (third one this week) if I've lost more weight! Holy cow, will it ever end? I think I might have sounded a bit defensive, so I doubt she'll ask again. I told her no, I haven't lost any weight for three months, I'm not planning on losing more, and I'm not sick, and I don't have cancer or any other disease. I'm guessing if I maintain my current weight for the next several years, maybe, just maybe they'll all get tired of asking and realize I'm not dying of any disease and I really do want to be skinny, whether or not they all approve! I really haven't lost weight for several months, so it must be the new spring clothes I've been buying.
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They will surely soon stop asking! They would be even more judgemental if they knew you've had the TT!! I'm guessing it's the heavier people doing the asking, not the skinny ones.
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I've started just plainly saying "I don't want to talk about that" actually works. Just say it matter of factly - don't be defensive or rude - and people will usually just shut up. I've never had anyone accuse me of being too skinny though. I use it for other situations. Maybe next time they say you are too thin, you could just say "thanks". Anything but getting defensive is always good.
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I just re-read that and I am barely making sense! It's too early in the morning! I meant to say "don't get defensive".
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That's part of my problem, I do get defensive! I try to model my behavior after other people whom I admire for handling situations with a smile, bur alas I fail at times and the real me comes out! I don't mind people looking at me, but I really don't like the ones who judge my actions concerning my body and weight according to their comfort level and standards. Mostly these people are wanting to know if I have developed cancer, as there is a lot of cancer in my area. They are concerned for my health, then they are concerned that I'm going to turn anorexic. Which I'm NOT!
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The part that gets me is these people are going to constantly compare you to the "old" you. anyone who has just met you wouldn't know to say anything about your size or weight because to them you are just "you". hopefully, soon, the others will get used to the new you and stop making comments.
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I don't really have any advice, but I have read your reviews before and think you look so good! I am really sorry about the reactions people are having. I think you have given a good response, and hopefully people will see that you're at a consistent weight and will leave you alone.
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Yes, I hope they see me at a consistent weight and then back off. You are right eventually they will leave me alone when the novelty of my new and improved body wears off. Thanks!
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