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Anyone have issues with Spouse or S/O not wanting you to have your TT?

By MicheleinJersey on 17 Oct 2010

My TT is scheduled for Wednesday 10/20. My husband is not thrilled that I am having this done. Although I think he would like me smaller, the scar issue is really bothering him. He's really nervous about me having major surgery too. Has anyone had any experience with this?

Comments (101)

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Angiemcc (Community Manager) 19 Oct 2010

It's hard to go through something so major without the full support of your spouse. I bet once all is said and done, he'll be happy with the results. Most importantly, I hope YOU'LL be happy with the results and glad you did something for yourself.

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 19 Oct 2010

Oh yes...my hubby was a little freaked out about the scar.  Don't worry though once he sees the small, flat and tight tummy his eyes will spin in his head.  He will forget all about the scar.  The scar will fade soon enough.  Tell him he can help massage the vitamin E oil on it three times a day.   Been there and done that...he will be fine.   Good luck with you surgery and check in and let us know how you are doing.
Salem4610 31 Oct 2010
My husband was very mad at me for doing this. Two days before the surgery he still didn't realize I was still going through with it and walked out of the house when me and my daughter were discussin it. He was afraid of something bad happening and me not making it. Oh, and continuously throws up to me what the $5000 could have been spent on around our house! He's getting better, is very relieve I'm still alive! :) Hey, we have to do things for ourselves once in a while, our time always goes to our spouses and kids right?
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 31 Oct 2010

Right!  They get nervous when it involves the unknown.  Yes, we do need to treat ourselves once and a while because we deserve it. 
Salem4610 31 Oct 2010
Thanks Kimmers! I see you are on most of these blogs answering questions. That is great. Tell me, did the whole numbing feeling in your abdomen feel creepy to you? I don't like the feeling of having NO feeling in my belly. Also, the scar, does the black color go away? Are those the sutures making it that color? I do go back to my PS on November 4th, I still have questions for him regarding how everything is healing.
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 31 Oct 2010

Hello,

The numbness could last up to a year or longer.  I am six and a half months out and it is still numb.  And yes it does feel creepy!  It is strange when you put a pair of jeans on and can't even feel it when you zip them up.   

The black color I had on mine was from dried blood under the surgical glue.  Once I peeled all of that off the black went away and it turned red and pink.  You should probably have your doctor check that out though.  As soon as you are cleared to start using oils and lotions on the scar start the three time a day massage with the Palmer's Vitamin E Skin Therapy Oil.  That helps greatly in fading and smoothing the scar line.   As you can see from my pics my scar is looking really good in a short time.  Be persistent though with the Palmer's Oil for two months, Mederma Cream for 3 months and then followed with Bio Oil for 2-3 months.  Sounds like a ton of work but it is so worth it.
Goldengirl0422 15 Dec 2010
did you do the palmers then mederma or did they overlap?
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 15 Dec 2010

Hi Goldengirl,

Start with the Palmer's for 8 weeks and then switch to the Mederma for 12 weeks.
MicheleinJersey 31 Oct 2010
The numbing feeling is weird to me too - the dr told me it takes a year for all the feeling to come back. When was your surgery Salem4610?
Salem4610 1 Nov 2010
I had my surgery October 15th. I went back to work on the 27th. I sit at a desk but every time I get up, everything feels so tight and uncomfortable. I had to tell people I fell and hurt my back. I can't stand the tightness. I know I will be happy at the end of all of this but right now, I'm really grossed out about the whole thing. My sutures just feel raw. They are looking good and Kimmers, I did look close again and a lot of the black are scabs so that's good. I have a follow up appt but not until December 6th. I just can't wait until I am walking straight again!
MicheleinJersey 1 Nov 2010
Wow, you went to work fast!
I told the people at my work i was having surgery, but not what kind, and have tried to make it sound like "female" issues. i've been working from home on my laptop and I work with all women who are very nosy so it's been tough. I find out tomorrow if I can go back to work on Wednesday as scheduled - and he's taking my drain out! YAY!
I've been seeing my dr every week - he said he likes to keep a close eye on things.
Salem4610 1 Nov 2010
Oh believe me, I wished I had more time to take off but I didn't. Its not very comfortable trying to sit up straight with this binder jabbing into my sutures. I would have said I was having female issues but there are too many nosey woman here (one being my own sister-in-law!) so I decided just to say I was taking vacation. I'm still taking it easy on the weekends but feel I am doing way more than I should be. You will feel better with the drains gone, those are sooo nasty!! Good luck!
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 1 Nov 2010

Hang in there..it does look really nasty to start but improves quickly once the scabs fall off.  As soon as you can start to use the Palmer's Oil you will notice a difference quickly.  It will become smooth and flat in no time at all. 

I kind of figured that is what the black was.  I had the scabs, dry blood and purple marker form the pre op markings all stuck under the surgical glue.  Pretty ugly to start. 
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 1 Nov 2010

Don't you just love nosy people!!  I have heard other women say that they had back problems, female problems, hernia repair, and just plain sore from a new workout.  Whatever works I say go for it.
Salem4610 1 Nov 2010
That was another one I used, hernia surgery (for people outside work), I hate not being honest about it but I just don't want to deal with the "judging".
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 1 Nov 2010

Don't look at it as being dishonest...it is called survival!  If people were not so mean and judgmental it would be easier. 
Salem4610 2 Nov 2010
very true!
Salem4610 1 Nov 2010
Ok, had to add this on, I put November 4th originally as my follow up, yeah, that's for my son's orthodontist appt! Wow, did they cut out some of my brain too?? :) December 6th is the correct f/u date. And thanks for the info on the creams, I can't wait to start using them.
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 1 Nov 2010

If you feel the need to see the doc before Dec 6th don't be shy.  Just call and ask for the appt.  I was in my doctors office weekly for the first six weeks. 
Salem4610 1 Nov 2010
I think I will ok until then. Did you wear your binder up around you waist above your sutures and a bit below your breasts? I almost feel like the binder is maybe sitting on my sutures when I sit at work and that is why my stomach is so irritated.
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 1 Nov 2010

I was fortunate in the fact that my doctor is not big or strict on the binders.  I ditched mine after four days...couldn't stand it, hated it and it hurt like hell.  He told me to wear it if it made me feel better but he did not demand that I wear it.  I know all doctors are different and I would never tell someone to go against their doctors orders. 

What I did wear when I went back to work was Spanx.  They felt wonderful and were pretty comfy.  It was enough support to feel good but not so much that I was uncomfortable.  I wore this my first two weeks back to work.  I got one of those get ups that went from under the breasts and to the knees.  Looked so darn funny.  The bathroom thing was a bit of a pain. It was a bit like getting into ten point restraints.
Salem4610 2 Nov 2010
I have read different things ab out it by different doctors. I also read that it does help with reducing the change of getting a seroma. Did you get any of these. Just wondering what they look like. I had lipo too but luckily (knock on wood) the only swelling i have is along the scar line. Oh, and my sister is actually giving me a new pair of spanx she never wore so I am looking forward to trying them!
How long before you stood up straight? I'm so afraid i'm going to rip something,yuck.
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 2 Nov 2010

I had swelling problems all along but never anything else.  Now mind you the swelling was awful and hurt like crazy.   If you get any fluid build up it will feel like a water bed under your skin.  You will know it...

I think you will like the spanx because they are pretty comfy.  I did not stand up totally straight for 3 weeks.  It hurt so badly and by noon every day my body was screaming at me to lay down.   You won't rip anything but it may feel like you are.
Salem4610 3 Nov 2010
When you did eat salty foods, did your stomach swell at your suture sight and get sore? I had too much sodium yesterday and my stomach was sore all day, I actually took a pain killer before bed last night I was so sore and exhausted.
And Yes, it does feel like a water bed! Very puffy.
Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 3 Nov 2010

Salem4610 - yes sodium was and still is my worst enemy.  I would puff up so badly and it hurt like crazy.  Just drink extra water for the next couple of days and it will flush your system out.   I looked like I had a tire around my middle. 

Just keep an eye on the water bed feel and look.  If it gets worse make sure to have your doctor check it.  I know of several women on the site who have had to have the fluid drained several times. 

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