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Anyone have issues with Spouse or S/O not wanting you to have your TT?

By MicheleinJersey on 17 Oct 2010

My TT is scheduled for Wednesday 10/20. My husband is not thrilled that I am having this done. Although I think he would like me smaller, the scar issue is really bothering him. He's really nervous about me having major surgery too. Has anyone had any experience with this?

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MicheleinJersey 10 Dec 2010

Well i saw the surgeon - he looked and felt everything and said it's not a seroma - he said everything feels fine - looks great - he said he might have hit a nerve from the lipo that is just starting to heal so just to take motrin and come back in 2 weeks.
I'm relieved it's not a seroma!
And I can go back to the gym! I am so excited! I just want to walk and do lunges - I've never been so excited to work out in my life!

Salem4610 10 Dec 2010

That's great news! I was also scared to death to end up with a seroma but everything looks pretty good. I just can't wait for the scar to fade and am hoping the "doggy" ear corrects itself where it is so small. I have to start working out again too but I'm just going to wait until after crazy holidays and then concentrate on getting it shape again. SLOWLY of course. It sure didn't take long to get out of shape! :)

MicheleinJersey 8 Dec 2010

Can you find out what hospital he went to? I'm not sure you want to go back to this other guy?

I'm having major pains in the one side of my incision - like sharp shooting pains....my surgeon had a stomach virus so i'm not seeing him till friday but hopefully it's nothing too bad - I don't feel anything there but it doesn't look right to me - not as healed as the other side.

i'm hoping I can go back to the gym soon and just walk on the treadmill - I feel so flabby - my tummy is flat but my butt and thighs are gross now. Kimmers - how long did it take for you to get cleared to just do cardio?

Salem4610 9 Dec 2010

I do know where he went, but I also believe he gave me his business card with his cell on it, I'll have to check. I am ok with everything else, except I do have a little doggy, or should I say "puppy" ear on my left side. The doctor said with massage it may go away by itself, if not I can go back and get that fixed. I was hoping I didn't get those! Michele, I did get some shooting pains as well, but they went away and now it's itchy. On my right side only. Hopefully it's nothing but keep us posted.

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 8 Dec 2010

Oh my god! Do not do anything full force yet or you will hurt yourself and hinder your healing. Trust me and wait until 6 months to do any ab work at all. Listen to your body and if it hurts, tugs or pulls do not do it.

Go slow and know you are not in any marathon here. No need to hurry anything. This was the best advice my doctor gave me and I am glad I listened. Even my trainer said no abs for six months. And even them he had me on a modified program for months six and seven.

Salem4610 8 Dec 2010

Oh I know not to do anything. I don't know what the heck this guy was thinking! I looked at him like he was crazy. I miss the doctor that did my surgery. He is a resident Chief surgeon so has moved and I don't know how to get a hold of him but trust me, I do know better, what a quack this other doctor was!

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 8 Dec 2010

Hang in there. If you call the hospital will they tell you where he went?

Salem4610 9 Dec 2010

I'm hoping I can call him if I need to, they did tell me where he is. Actually, he asked the other doctor I saw to take pictures for him and to find out if I was happy with the surgery,he was a GREAT doctor. Very caring and concerned. I did know he was moving on but he said he would try to make Monday's appt but it depended on his schedule and obviously, he couldn't make it. I'll track him down if needed :)

Salem4610 8 Dec 2010

Ok, I went for my 7 week check up on Monday, my doc has moved to another hospital in Boston so I saw someone else. This doctor told me I could start working out again with no restrictions. YA RIGHT!!! I'm kind of glad he didn't do my surgery! There is no way in hell I am ready to start working out full force! My upper stomach still feels raw and still has pulling sensations AND there are days in general my whole stomach is just achy. I really thought he was nuts! Don't we still have stitches inside that take quite a while to heal????

MicheleinJersey 16 Nov 2010

Mine is definitely like a W shape. i feel like i look like I was cut in 2. I think if you try to find pictures of people who have had this done over a year ago the scars are way faded. My dr had pics of 1yr + scars that weren't red or raised at all.

Salem4610 16 Nov 2010

My sister actually had a TT about 9 years ago and her scar looks great, it's not even that noticable,and she had to have it done twice because the doctor screwe up the first time. I couldn't even imagine going through this twice! Well, it is definitely good to talk to other people, we are all in the same boat and so far everything does seem normal.

MicheleinJersey 14 Nov 2010

I went to a diet dr, a nutritionist and a personal trainer. I didn't have kids but I lost a large amount of weight about 10 years ago so I had the big flap of skin on my belly that no amount of diet and exercise was going to get rid of - all of the doctors/trainers told my husband that but he hears what he wants to hear. the nutritionist told me I was his toughest case in 30 years of practice. my husband is a tough one - he thinks the femaile body is perfect the way it is - no tattoos, no piercings...I had tattoos and a piercing when I met him and it took him a bit to get over those too (although my bellybutton ring is gone now). If I'd done this before our wedding in April maybe it would have been better so I would have known his thoughts before we got married, and i would have looked a lot better in our pictures and on our honey moon...At this point all I can do is hope that he will be more accepting at some point.
I'm just putting the Mederma on 3 x a day till the dr tells me otherwise - i'm such a rule follower - I get nervous that I will mess something up if I don't follow his directions to a T!

Salem4610 14 Nov 2010

Let's face it, most women (even the ones that do have great bodies) always have something they are not happy about,we are not alone. It will probably just take time for him to accept it. Just remind him, when us women are not happy, no one is happy :) That's my kids saying anyway :)

I am following my MD's instructions too, so I am good to go with the oil now. I hope it makes a big difference.

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 14 Nov 2010

Stay persistent with the oil and firm massage 2-3 times a day and you will notice a big difference!

Salem4610 15 Nov 2010

I did notice around my hip area there was a burning sensation so I'm thinking I should hold off on that area for another week. the middle of my stomach and towards the hips were ok. It feels good to put that on. And yes,it does smell like chocolate! :)

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 15 Nov 2010

Definitely hold off if you think that is necessary in that area. Just go around that area. Maybe just massage it without the oil on that burning spot.

Salem4610 16 Nov 2010

this may sound crazy but with the swelling being above the scar, did it look like your stomach was in two separate pieces? I mean, it does look more mended together once it heals right? I think I'm being to paranoid about things! :) And is everyone's scar a sort of "w" shape?

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 16 Nov 2010

Yes mine would swell right along the incision line and look separated. That gets better with time. I did not have the W shape though. Mine was just pretty much straight across. There are three different incisions doctors use and the "W" is one of them. I don't think you have anything to worry about. The swelling just makes you look all crazy for a while.

MicheleinJersey 17 Nov 2010

Do you know my husband saw my belly button last night, which is still red with a little scab on it and said EEEWWWWW, that's disgusting.

Salem4610 17 Nov 2010

I have to say my belly button came out awesome! Looks way better than it did before. Its definitely the scar that grosses my husband out. Can't blame him there!

Salem4610 17 Nov 2010

Ooh, I wish mine were straight across, I bet that looks better. Although, my last name begins with a "W" so this will be my "signature" scar....... :)

Kimmers25 (Community Manager) 19 Nov 2010

Oh boy...I am sorry he is giving you fits! It will all heal and you will soon have a cute little belly button.

MicheleinJersey 19 Nov 2010

My belly button was pierced before -I kind of miss it now that my belly is so flat, but it is healing nicely. i know he'll get over at least the belly button part of it. The scar part, we'll see. I got a sillicone scar strip from my
PS yesterday - I wore it for a few hours last night and then took it off - I'm going to put it back on tomorrow. He said it will get rid off the redness and flatten it as well. has anyone tried this?

Salem4610 14 Nov 2010

I think maybe I will try the spanks today to make sure they are ok at work. I hear you about getting tired easily. I'm not used to that either. My belly starts to throb and I don't want to do anything else. I really can't wait until I am back to normal. I miss working out.
My husband insisted that I could have trimmed my stomach by diet and excercise. I did that constantly and NOTHING worked. Once your muscles detach after having kids that's it, there is nothing you can do. Some men are just not supportive and mine was one of them, BUT he is ok now. I hope everything works out for you, I would hate to hear about someones marriage not working because a spouse chose to do something to make themselves feel better. Even my 15 year old son thought I was crazy for wanting it done but said, "Mom, if it makes you feel better about yourself then go for it". Hang in there.

Are you using vitamin E yet? I did buy the Palmers that Kimmers suggested but may wait another week before using it.

MicheleinJersey 14 Nov 2010

I have spanks but i get so worried that they will be too tight during the day - it's uncomfortable enough as it is without anything making it worse. Sitting for a long time is hard - when I stand up I'm very stiff, and also I just can't do what I used to - I met my friend for lunch yesterday and then we walked around the mall for 2 hours and i was exhausted - i thought I would be ready to go food shopping after that and i went straight home to lay down which is very frustrating.
i still start out sleeping on my back with 1-2 pillows under my knees and kind of propped up - i try to move onto my side if I have a pillow between my legs and under my hips - if I'm in just the right position I can do it for a little while.

My husband HATES that I did this. he tried to talk me out of it while i was waiting to go into surgery. he hasn't even seen my scar - won't look at it - is mad I did it - even though he wanted me to be in better shape before I did it. I don't think he will look at me naked for a very long time. I'm glad I did it for me, but I hope my marriage will survive it.