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Don't want hubby to see belly for at least the first month...

  • Columbus2941
  • 3 years ago

My husband is supportive of me having the surgery, but I kind of want to keep him in the dark as to what my belly looks like until it's on its way to some good healing and the swelling goes down. Anyone else hoping to do this??

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Wow, thanks for all the responses!! We just got back from Vegas, so I'm behind!

Thanks for making me see both sides. I know I will definitely need his help, but I wanted to keep it hidden for a while and then kind of "surprise" him with good results, but the more I read your comments, the more unlikely that seems. He is kind of "iffy" (like Julie said) with blood and things like that, so I kind of wanted to spare him. But maybe if he sees how ouchy it is he will appreciate it more, right...lol!
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KSP, I'm sorry to hear that.

My hubby has been great, and isn't 'turned off' by it all. Well, he hasn't said so, and he does adjust my binder for me every day.
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I think you need to do whatever you are comfortable with. I certainly understand your concerns, but it sounds like your husband is very supportive, in which case I don't think you need to worry about it. See how it goes or maybe take his lead? Unfortunately my husband was no help to me at all, so no, he has yet to see mine (at 4 weeks now). He hasn't even asked about it. Actually, it was hard to look at it myself at first. I kept thinking what have I done??? But now it's already looking much better. I think if you can share the whole experience with your husband, that would be wonderful.
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My hubby also did the bathing, drains, changed bandages, etc. He even had to help me get on and off the toilet and put my pants and socks on for me. He was great with it, even though he's never had any surgery or been in the hospital.

He already knows how you looked before - what could be worse? He will enjoy the transition, along with you.
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Columbus - trust me when I say this...they are like happy little puppy dogs when looking at the flat and tight tummy :) 
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Columbus, I understand but agree with Kimmers. You will need his help, so it may not be a good idea to have you heart set on him not seeing it. I am 10 weeks Post Op and an still having major swelling, my scar has just started fading. I hate to think what my life would be like if I was trying to keep my tummy hidden. They say you can't expect final results until 6 months. My husband hated seeing my incision, but he got used to it quickly and then got excited as I progressed. Hoping it all works out great for you...
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My hubby took care of me for the first 10 days post op so he had sight of everything.  He bathed me, emptied my drains, ice packed me, massaged my back and did just about everything else for me.  He kept checking under the bandages for infection and nasty things.  He was a total gem through all of this.   It did not bother me at all that he was looking at everything either. 

He was great and didn't even flinch at the incision and swelling.  We have been together for 24 years so if I had started hiding my body now he would have thought something was odd. 

He cared for me after my c-section, hysterectomy and shoulder surgery as well.  So I am pretty used to him being my nurse.   

To be honest you will not even care if your hubby sees everything.  You will just be glad to have the help. 
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My husband didn't see my stomach for well over a month. First he only saw it with the silicone scar strip over the incision and now he sees it as is, and it's been 4 months. I wanted him to be comfortable with it, and now he is. i don't love him seeing the scar, but he's ok with it. You have to do whatever is good for the 2 of you.
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I can understand you wanting to look your absolute best for your spouse & not wanting him to see you in a transitional stage.

My husband has seen every single square inch of my body close up & personal no matter what's going on so it would be strange for him to NOT watch the tummy tuck transformation every single day. Honestly the only thing that freaked him out a bit was watching my PS draw on me "like a tailor" prior to surgery. LOL!
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Oh my Barbie I could have written this exactly for myself. My husband has seen every nook and cranny I possibly have, yet he said he was going to be uncomfortable when I got drawn on. How bizarre is that? I asked why and he said, never thought a body should be a map. MEN! HAHA!

Columbus, I kinda am the sameway. I don't want him to see the bad parts and what it looks like, however, he has seen it look its worst like what it does now. I am a little nervous about him seeing the drains and where they are attached. He is ify with blood, so who knows. I think what ever makes you feel comfortable in your recovery is what you should do.
Good luck.
~Julie
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OMG Julie, what is it with men and watching the body they love turn into a drawing board??!! Too funny!!!
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