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Hiding from others that you got a TT

  • mom23monkeys
  • 2 years ago

So I don't plan on telling a lot of people that I am getting a TT.  Is it even possible to hide it from others?  I know you have to wear a CG for a long time.  So is it really visible under your clothes?  Can others tell that you are wearing something?  What about hiding the drains the first week or so?  Are you able to hide them under clothes?  Not that I plan on leaving the house or anything but just curious. Thanks!

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OK I had to post this because it was quite comical. :-) Tonight we hosted Christmas Eve at our house and I am currently 3 weeks post op from tummy tuck with MR. Let me tell you it was quite a struggle my husbands family doesn't know about the surgery and I didn't want them to know. Well I thought I was standing pretty straight and my husband said I wasn't hunching too bad. Well I guess I was wrong, everyone asked what was wrong with me and why was I hunched. Well the first thing that came out of my mouth was that I pulled something in my back. So all night I was getting told what to do to help my back all the while my husband is smirking. The worst was that I kept swelling as the night went on and I felt worse and worse and I started my period! I was trying to cook and do it all like nothing was wrong. Oh my goodness when it was over I wished I had just told them all so maybe they would have felt my pain. I got through it though and I am glad I didn't tell them. At least tommorrow night my family knows and I can sit around doing nothing :-)
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If you don't care, other people won't care. If anyone asks, I tell them. I look really great after a twin pregnancy. The surgery is nothing to be ashamed of! I looked great without the surgery but would never had gotten rid of the extra skin and never would have had my stomach muscles back to normal (sever diastasis) without surgery. I have not kept my procedure a secret and have never had anything but supportive comments from others.

As for hiding it in the weeks after the procedure, that is pretty much impossible. I could barely move let alone leave the house for the first week or two. And my drains stayed in for a full two weeks. Recovery was very difficult for a normally active person like me. I really had to rely on family and friends to help with household chores and care of my children for the period of recovery. Everyone at my oldest son's school noticed I was absent. Most people would have just guessed on their own. So instead of having them all whispering, I just shared!
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I don't thinks so either Holantina, your post about your husbands brothers wife reminded me of my own in laws. I say sod them it is none of their bussiness so I am not telling them. I don't have to explain myself to them, what they don't know won't hurt them.However if someone hated their own shape and was wondering about getting a tummy tuck or mommy make over then I would probably tell them I had it, so to give them courage to look it up for themselves. So I would tell different people for different reasons. But like the FBI I think I will keep it on a need to know basis. lol
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I love your comment... we do it because we are worth it and we deserve it. I agree with you about some people really thinking work ou and dieting will get a post-pregnancy belly looking perfectly flat. Especially after a very big belly (for instance due to twins or along with lot of weight gaining) your belly is not going to be the same again, unless you go for a TT. Beleive me, i'm done averything posible :-) and finally, i went to dr. Van Selms. Tishball, I want ME back too!!! Is that so wrong? I do not think so :-)
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I have told my husband, and that is IT. My 25yr old son I was going to tell as he had to collect me from the hospital, but I said I had a hernia, and left it at that. He wouldn't be critical, but may not understand fully my need to do this. In his mind his little dumpy mother looked like a mother, thoughts of her wanting to wear a bikini would be alien to him. ( he caused most of the damage to the pup). My 19 yr old daughter I won't tell, because altough she won't mean it she will tell others, and here where I live it would be a topic of conversation that would overshadow all the hard work I did to get here, lose weight work out etc, nothing moved the belly. But everyone will have a comment on it , and I would rather not have to put up with that. My sil who normaly is in and out of this house every day, is on holidays so when she gets back I will be still swollen but not bent over. She won't realise it until my swelling is gone that I am trim, she will think it is my Zumba class that has worked magic. She always sneers about folks who have WORK DONE, and I am not up to the lecture of having surgery without a medical need for it. She is turning 40 with a great figure , never had children so her body is fine. However I have children 4 who were worth every second of a lumpy tummy , but now I have saved and worked and I want ME back.
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BTW, your sil speaks very fast, i think it is relatively easy to have a nice figure as long as one has not undergone the physical and hormonal changes that go along pregnancy and lactancy...hahaha.... just forgive her, she just can't imagine. You have to go through a pregnancy (or two, or three) to realize what it does to your body. OF Course, it is worth every second of it, that is not the point here ;-)
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HI... dont worry about that... its easy to hide it. People are pretty much oblivious! If they even notice anything its that you look good! I am 3 months out and as much as I thought people would notice =no one really has, except for those that I told... Its funny really, I do look soooo different but I guess people pay attention to the things they thing are important... not the rest! Good luck!
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I'm gonna try and hide it from the other kids that don't know at my school! Only my close friends knows!
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I have told my parents, my in-laws, a best friend, and my team co-workers and boss. I have asked all of them to keep it quiet and if anyone ask where I'm at (when I'm off at work) to them that I had "female" surgery. I'm hoping that will keep people from asking for details. In a way that's not lying. I'm a female after all. :) LOL. I'm going to miss Christmas church services and some Christmas gatherings, so I'm going to have family just tell them that I'm not feeling well. I also found a website, which gives you some comebacks for insults which I might try to memorize for those that do find out and feel like they have to give me their wonderful opinion. http://purpleslinky.com/humor/life/when-someone-insults-you-12-neat-comebacks/. I guess my fear is wondering if people know and what they are saying about me behind my back. I guess, I'm just going to have to realize that they may know and I will just try not to let it bother me. They don't have to live with the belly that I have developed after single and twin pregnancies. I have tried exercise, even with a physicial trainer for months. As many of you know, none of that works when your muscles and skin have been stretched out. Anyway, I hope the link above helps some you out. :)
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Its funny, I don't really care what people say about me. Especially when I know I'm doing something for me. I had my hair locked almost 2 years ago. The first stage of that is not pretty. When I look back at my pictures, its really amazing that no one ever commented. What will they be able to say now except that we look amazing!! (smile) I can't wait!!
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I think it's great not to care what people say about one. If you do too much, you'll get crazy! I know aomeone who is always concerned about what people will think. Her life is a mess and she is miserable.
I am trying myself to care less and less everyday. At the end of the day you have to be happy with yourself, and not live to make other people satisfied, isn't it?
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Most of my friends and coworkers know. Several of my coworkers have had plastic surgery - so I am getting lots of info. I finally told my mother in law only because she will be here a week after the surgery (for Thanksgiving) and would have realized something was done.

However, I have not told my side of the family (who live 2500 miles away). They, especially my sister, would not have been supportive. Will I ever tell them? Probably not. I haven't told my mom (she is 80) and I think she would worry too much.
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Other than my mom and my daughter (who will be taking care of me), I've told a few select girlfriends. They are all very happy for me. I hope to keep this as private as possible. I haven't even told my boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll try to talk me out of it. Trying to figure out how to keep him away for 2 weeks!
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i only told 4 people, my mom, my sis, my sister in law and my mother in law. People talk a lot of crap, don't take it!
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oh to the rest of the world i had an umbilical hernia fixed... not sure they believe me though... lol
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I tell everyone. I posted a link on my facebook page to my journal here with "warning: very graphic" haha

I just don't see the reason to hide it.

be proud of the decisions you make :) if less people hid it like a dirty secret maybe people wouldn't be as shocked and judgy.
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Hi ladies,
Thanks for the help on this. I have heard a lot i'm to sweet and take to much from people They say i have to be bolder and stand for my self and put sometime people in their place. But i'd prefer to do this in an assertive way and not unrespectfully. That is why i asked your help. Thanks! If anyone has further ideas, you are more than welcome to chip in.
Kimmers you are right, she is very annoying and always sticking her nose in everybody's business and judging others on their back. I know that because she does it the whole time at my place. I never join her and try to cut those conversations as short as posible and go over to more constructive topics :-) I unfortunately have to put up with her because of the family relationship. Otherwise i would already shown her the door of the house.
If she brings the surgery topic into conversation during a big gathering of people (usually a lot op people i barely know at her or her children's birthday parties) i wil tell them i'd rather not discuss my reasons why with people i barely know, that i deserved this and that i'm the boss over my body and i determine what happens to my body. Period. And of course everything you wrote, about it not being none of her business in the first place.
Knowing her, i would have rather kept it secret but it was not posible. Also, i wonder if i would have got away with it at all. Surgery is going to make SUCH A BIG difference in my physical appearance, that she would have found out anyway. I really have a very protuding, hanging belly, typical for good candidates for a TT (get asked wether i'm pregnant the whole time) My P. surgeon has said he would get it totally flat and looking superb, since the loose skin and diastasis the only problems are, further is my waist very shapely and relatively slender :-) So the difference will be so noticeable, that they would guess anyway :-)hahaha....
I'll keep you informed about the matter :-)
Anyway, the procedure will take place around the end of this year or begin next one. The erason is that this plastic surgeon is very very good and only makes this kind of operations in a hospital (Sint Lucas Andreas hospital in Amsterdam) and gets very limited time a month. That is why he hast a waiting list. But is is really a very good surgeon, i've seen many pictures of his work at a dutch forum and he takes time for his patients to inform them, etc.
Thanks again, also for your survival guide, it is very useful!
Hug from Netherlands,
Holantina.
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Please keep in touch with us:)

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Outside of my family I told 2 people but I didn't tell them what was going on, I just had I was having a surgery and if I needed them I would call and they said yes, one of them I havent heard from since the day before the surgery even after multiple calls and I feel they walked away and I didn't even tell them what was happening other than surgery...kind of let down but I don't need them. I trust my family most and you shouldnt have to feel anything wrong about it, they should understand. But I doubt I will tell anyone what really was done, people are judgemental, don't understand, or make terrible analogies trying to understand.

I myself did a really good job of hiding it from most people I see daily and one went out 3 times after the surgery, my drains are gone and now I can walk without a jacket on in July with an odd bulge in the store...I swore if I got a accused of shoplifting...

If the question does arise I will just say stomach/digestive issues that required a lot more than heartburn. A little white lie won't hurt anyone.
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Hi there, I've been looking for a thread like this because i need advice. I'm having a tummy tuck and at first i wanted it to keep it for myself. But my husband is a twin. He unintentionally said it to his twin brother (eventhough i had asked him to keep it quiet) and this brother's wife is an incredible gossiper that tells everything. It is incredible. Now i was forced to tell her i was going for the procedure. I know already she will be talking after my back and calling me vane, etc. All because she is annoyed by her belly as well, but has not the guts to go through surgery. She always brings "uncomfortable" topics to conversation when there are lots of people around. I remember she usually would begin about "why my husband did not marry me", in front of 10 or more persons. Only to watch my husband (we are now married) and i nearly get an argument. We finally decided not to give her the pleasure to watch us argue about that. We married when WE were up to that, not her! Anyway, to make long story short, this topic about surgery, this she will also use to animate the conversation at birthday parties, etc. I have already warned her that i am not putting up with her behaviour again and that she must mind her own business. But i need some short, bold answers to have prepared if she brings the subject to conversation in front of a lot of people and everybody tries to throw their 10 cents into it, which people over here do A LOT (i'm in The netherlands) So, please, help! I have a few ideas of my own, but every contribution will be much apreciated. Thanks in advance! Holantina.
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Hi anon5437,

People like this really blow my skirt up!!  They are busy bodies who hate their own self so want in inflict misery on others.  

This is what I said to a woman after my procedure and she just about spit her teeth out.

She started judging me, throwing her opinions out in the open, called me self centered and would not shut up.  In a very calm voice and with a smile on your face say the following:

Did I ask for your opinion..NO

Is this any of your business..NO

Are you paying for this..NO

Do I care or want your opinion..NO

I would appreciate it if you would worry about yourself and leave me out of the conversation.  And I do not want to hear another word our of your mouth about me. 

Staying calm and keeping the smile on your face is the key here.  Bugs the hell out of them.

The one thing I can't stand is people who judge others and are nasty.  Best to just walk away from people like this.  They are toxic!   I do not have any space in my life for negative and nasty people. 

Stay strong, keep your chin up and be proud that you can and are doing something wonderful for yourself.  Just because people are family does not give them the right to walk all over you and create misery in your life.

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okay so I havent read any of the other replies because I got so mad at what you said about this sister in law of yours.

Plain and simple pull her aside and you look her directly in the eyes and tell her to mind her own business. Then if she proceeds to bring up YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS this is what you say (in front of ANYBODY who's there:

"(her name) this is something I've chosen to do, its a personal decision and I would appreciate it if you would keep your negative comments to yourself. When you brings up personal matters in front of other people it makes everybody feel very uncomfortable and honestly it doesnt make you look very good when you are so willing to my personal business on the table at public events".

Then you can add:
"You know, nobody likes a gossip. People may re-consider what they say to you. Its really not attractive..."

Then simply walk away as she picks her jaw up off the floor. :)
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I like your very assertive answer!
It is very, very good :-)
Thanks for the support!
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Kimmers, you said it!! I had a horrible reaction from people too because before surgery I was 5'3" & around 115 lbs. People said "you don't need that". My husband also said he would not lie for me, so I had to tell some people. It hurt when people made me feel like I was crazy to do this. I feel like "I am paying for it, not you; it is MY body". I am the type of person who would support anyone & it hurt when a good friend said "Oh, I just work out more if I want to look good". That killed me. I felt so hurt at that moment. For years before my surgery I rollerbladed 4 days per week (great ab & butt workout), woke up at 6 am to do abs, legs, arms, toning, yoga & pilates (on alternating days) & walked/ran 1/2 hour 5 days per week at the track after dropping kids off at school. At my weight I could not stand to lose more. My sags were going nowhere. If I lost any more weight I would have looked emacipated(sp).

We have to realize that this is our life, bodies & $. I then told on a need to know basis. I will not tell another person. If someone says that I look good at the pool, etc., I will say "thank you" & that's it.
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Madison, how terrible for you.... having excersised so much and still hearing such kind of comments.... puah.... people can be so tactless....
Believe me, if you have a streched out skin and diastasis, there is no way you can get that belly flat on your own, no matter how much you exercise. For two years i worked out and dieted EVERY day (including sunday) i tryied aerobics, weigths, cardio, The firm, and later on Zumba. Yes, i lost a lot of weight. Sometimes in the "wrong" places, since i ended up with almos no breasts. But my belly never got flat. I was almost at the same weight i had before my two babies (i gained around 55 pounds the first pregnancy, lost it almost all, then got pregnant again and the whole story began again.)My belly was still quite protuding, people would ask me the whole time wether i was expecting a third child (???)

These are our own bodies. I realize people will always be erady to make all kinds of comments, the one even nastier than the other. Your friend's comment was very hurting.... i would be devastated too....
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