You guys are scaring me!

Well, in 20 days, I'll be going in for my surgery. I'm terrified and excited. I last visited my surgeon on Monday and told him now my lower lids have gone sagging and puffy with fluid and it seems like it's here to stay. Same with the wrinkles around my eyes. THey are no longer just crow's feet, but now looks as though a dozen crows danced continously around my eyes. My dr said that once the aging process starts, it just goes downhill rapidly pretty much. So adding a lower eye lid surgery to it all. I don't want to have to come back later for the procedure and I didn't want the bags and puffiness to detract from the other surgery I have. I'm still scared though. I read some horror stories and I told my surgeon I have read them. He said it's sad and cause for concern, but it does happen. He thinks I'll be very happy with my results. I will be under anesthesia for 7 hours. Wow, that's a lot of time. He wants me to stay overnight. A friend offered to pay. I think I'd be too scared to go home now. Getting some flack at work about taking time off. I asked for two weeks...I have 2 part-time jobs. One it's slow this time of year, so it doesn't matter, but the other, I'm getting some flack... Wish me luck. I'm getting so nervous.

Oh, 60lovingit, thank you for sharing. It's good to hear something positive. I get confused with all the mid/lower/neck lifts. When I went to talk to my soon to be surgeon, I told him what I wanted. I want the jowls gone, I want the awful neck gone. I want the droopy lids gone. He said I had beautiful skin with not many wrinkles (I think I have, but I don't have lines all over my face like some, my cheeks are smooth, but I have the crowsfeet and I have some small ones by my mouth. He said I didn't need the lower lids done, but they've been puffing out and crepy lately, so I think I should just get it all dealt with at once. what is the nasal labial fold? I said I wanted the 'lines/folds' that are from my nose down to my mouth dealt with but he said a facelift doesn't help that. I was surprised to hear that. I feel like they just take on all these many 'lifts', why can't it be all in one. I see how the fAcelift I will be getting is done, and to me it seems like it should take care of from my eyes down.

Taking such 'chunks' of skin out from around the eyes, wouldn't that stay swollen and cut looking for a long time?

I have a high threshold for pain, so I'm not concerned about pain killers. I'm like you, I've been doing tons of research. I did a lot before I decided on going forward. I had told myself for a long time one day I would. I researched surgeons as well. It's good to come here and read and be prepared.

Anyway, thanks for your encouraging words and experience!

Hello
I am now 6 months post op from mid/lower face and neck lift with upper/lower eyes and fat grafting done in the nasal labial fold. Excellent results. Now I just turned 60 .
I took arnica before surgery which I think helped a lot with bruising and swelling and I have never smoked. The doctors on this site say smoking will slow down healing.
The first 2 - 3 weeks can be the hardest. Lots of swelling and bruising. I was lucky and healed quite quickly when I see some others . Its all so different.
Stitches around my eyes out in 1 week then staples 10 days. It was hard to lay on my back as where they took out the drains was so tender . In a face lift there is not much pain as there are not so many nerves. I just used EX tylonol for 3 days but other meds for 10 days in case of infection.
I knew what I was getting into as i did lots of research and you have to be prepared.
Surgery now is quite safe . Unless you are unhealthy and they should do bloodwork before.
I still have numbness around the sides of my face and on the right side of my scalp.
They say it takes 6-12 months for recovery.
But would I do it again? Yes yes yes. It is so worth it.

Pssst, Debby....ck your inbox! Have a fabulous Labor Day weekend!

Good morning girls! I thought I'd bring you up to speed on what I've decided about my surgery (now that I've stopped crying and feel better!). I was sooo upset about postponing my surgery after preparing myself mentally, the special diet and supplements for the past three weeks, all the preparations at home, blah, blah, blah. We dodged the hurricane but as it turned out, postponing surgery was for the best. Yesterday morning - early - as I was struggling with the intense pain of a kidney stone, the weather warning siren in town went off. Long story, but can you imagine if I'd been on day 2 after facelift surgery?! So now my urologist will not give me the go ahead for surgery for at least 10 days-2 weeks. For me, anything beyond that is just cutting it too close for the birth of my granddaughter. We are going to have to make the 400+ mile trip to our son/daughter-in-law's for the next three months, I just can't run the risk of surgery recovery issues right now.

So, Debby, my new-found friend, it looks as though I might be re-scheduling my surgery for some time after Christmas! I wish we lived closer, we could do it together (I know of three girl friends who actually DID do it together, I was envious!).

So....it is what it is. Thanks so much, Canadian Alien, for your words of encouragement. I wish you the greatest happiness over your new gorgeous face! And I hope you keep Fixmyface and me informed of your progress.

{ (((Hugs))) to you, Debby! I can't believe I have to wait, I was hoping to "hold your hand" through it! ;-) }

Omgosh..lol, I find myself thinking what should I have done as well? Maybe I should have this done or that done? I can see how a person can get obsessed i guess. I don't generally have big issues with under my eyes, but I've not been sleeping well or feeling good and this morning it showed big times with the bags under my eyes, so I found myself thinking about it. I am getting the upper lids done. I hope that heals quickly. I don't think I need a brow lift. I was even pulling up on it to see hahaha. I don't think so.

I get confused in reading when I see lower face lift and mid face lift. I was assuming that because I'm getting a 'facelift' and the cut goes from above the ears to under the ears and to the back, that that was the facelift and covers mid and lower? Am I wrong? I want my crowsfeet to be gone as well, does this facelift and eye lift (upper) do away with them? I wrongly assumed the facelift entailed the neck as well, but when talking with the girl to set my appointment, she listed what I'd have done and the price and the neck was in there, but separate from the facelift. It's too confusing. Sigh.

Hi C.A. I'm hoping that since my PS says I have great skin, that healing will go well for me too. I saw a scary sight yesterday when I took my daughter to the state fair. I find now that while sitting and waiting for a free concert, that I was looking at every woman that passed me. Checking out their faces, their necks, looking to see if I could tell if maybe someone had a facelift. Awful, I guess, but I think I was just curious because I realized this woman up the road from me that I only saw twice really have had to had one herself because you don't go from looking really worn and haggard looking in the spring with short straggly hair to looking about 35 with long luxurious hair right now. Anyway, I saw one woman yesterday and she had a face that had no sags or anything like that, but she had a horrendous deep red scar along her ear in front. It was long and thick looking and it was clear it was a surgical scar, but oh my. She had her hair pulled back in a pony tail which made it all the more noticeable. It scared me actually. I mean her face looked wonderful, but the scar was terrible. I wondered if she picked at it, that's what it looked like. Made it infected and heal wrong?

I think it's great you were able to get out and about so quickly after your surgery. Seven weeks ago isn't that long. I'm having a 'bad face' day today. I was so sick yesterday and I think I'm dehydrated and wow, that emphasizes jowls, wrinkles and so forth. I have puffiness under my eyes and I started thinking oh gosh maybe I should have that fixed too, but the surgeon said under my eyes was fine and had strong eye muscles.

I read your comment about bio oil earlier. I bought some of that a year or two ago when I was desparate and trying anything for my skin (well, I've been that way for years really)... I didn't use it long.

ScareDCat, let us know if you've rescheduled! I don't like pushing time ahead, but I'm actually anxious to get mine done (especially like days like today).

Good morning Debby! Sending you a private message.

My surgery was postponed due to Hurrican Isaac. :-/

Hi Fixmyface, I believe I may have responded to one of your posts on another forum. I can only give you an honest assessment of what I have experienced in the last 3.5 months since having a mini-lift. First of all, the positives: my lower face/neck looks great. Although the results are very subtle and natural looking, I think I look at least 5-10 years younger. Some parts of the recovery process were actually much easier than expected. External swelling was minimal and was pretty much gone by 2 weeks post-op. There was only one small bruise on my neck which disappeared in 3 days ( I usually bruise quite easily.) I looked great from the 3rd day. There was very lttle outright pain involved;however (and now we come to the negatives) there was -- and IS-- a tremendous amount of discomfort around my ears. I am constantly dealing with pulling/tightness around the ears and some tightness along the jaw line and into the neck.I have a constant "plugged up" sensation in one ear that has my ps and ENT doctor puzzled since the ear itself is fine. I've spent many hundreds of dollars so far on specialists, acupuncturists, etc, trying to get some relief from these uncomfortable and psychologically disturbing sensations. Every day I ask myself why I chose to bring this on myself when I've always been so healthy and energetic and not ven really that bad looking (albeit with all the normal signs of aging that we all hate so much.) As good as the visual results were, I would NEVER have had this done had I known how long and difficut the recovery process really is. As I have found out subsequent to the surgery, nerve damage around the ears -- which apparently is what I have -- is very common and take 6 months to one year to fully resolve. I am just praying that it will eventually resolve since there is always a risk of permanent nerve damage and chronic pain with any surgery. So, anyhow, there it is: the good, the bad and the scary. I wish you well and hope that you make the wisest decision possible.

Hi Patty! I figured you were busy. I have two part time jobs, so I know how that is. My office Job where I'm at now, gives me more freedom to get online, the other one, not at all. Plus I'm still decluttering all the aftermath of the ex's stuff when I get the time. That in itself if a major chore.

Oh, the 29th! I'm so excited for you. I had been poking around this website and found a calendar of upcoming surgeries. i didn't see you to any of the days this month, but I started to fill out a date, but I didn't want to give all the information they were asking, so I opted out.

I can totally understand you being nervous! So would I, but I'm sure it will be worth it when it's all said and done. I think I drive my best friend nuts talking about all the things I'm reading ! So it's nice to have you here to go through it with and carry on about it. The long recovery I've been reading about scares me too. I just read a comment somewhere (and actually quite a few times) of where someone might feel better and then the next day all the symptoms are back. But at the same time, if I'd not read these things and then went through it, I'd be mortified.

Omgosh about the hurricane! Well, I hope it doesn't come your way!!! I was thinking things like that (well, not a hurricane), but I thought about snowstorms and then i got worried about my mom and thinking what if I have the surgery and then something happens to either of my parents (before or after). Weird the things we can think of.

You are still a 'baby'. I tell that to everyone younger than me hahaha...51. Oh to be 51 again lol! I've read the ages of a lot of the women, so I try to tell myself maybe that added to the longer healing time?

Yes, please do keep me posted and I will most definitely say a prayer for you.((((((Hugs))))
Debby :-)

Hi ScareDCat, don't worry about your typos. I hate that they don't have an edit key here, but oh well. I didn't even notice your typos to be honest. I think I must just read them the way they are supposed to be lol.

Wow! I didn't realize that you had your surgery scheduled for this month! wow, wow, wow! Well how exciting really. How lucky you are to have a supportive husband too. Makes it hard when we have to schedule around everything and congratulations on the new grandbaby on the way!

Oh, thank you so much for guiding me through the ordeal when it's my time! I'll be here for you as you go through it and living vicariously though it really lol, so it'll be like having it twice, the mock up and the real thing ...lol (I laugh now, but probably be crying when mine comes if it's rough). But it's exciting too knowing we'll look GOOD when it is all said and done. How old are you? I'm 54. Honestly I was thinking I was probably the oldest one getting a facelift. But I see there are others in their 60s.

Thanks, I think the implant will help too. I was looking at a video of those as well ...what they look like, how they put them in. I was afraid I might look like Jay Leno, but they aren't very big really, and come in different sizes.


Thank your your kindness and yes, can't wait to be updated on your escapade! Have a great day! I'm off to the shower and then to my 2nd part time job.

Hi ScareDCat! So nice to hear back from you. Yes, cancer is tough. She won't improve, she has lung cancer and there's nothing they can do for her, but they are amazed she is still going even after a year and needs nothing for pain, no oxygen (although she breaths so rapidly, I feel like I'm going to hyperventillate)..she eats and food goes through her, but she keeps her spirits up until she starts getting bored of being home so much. I take her around as does my youngest son and a friend of hers.

Oh, that's so funny that you practice that tight/choking feeling. I think I get afraid because at times I get nightmares where I can't swallow and start choking or I forget how to swallow or I just cant catch my breath so when I read that about the choking feeling, I got a little alarmed...like will it make it worse when I'm sleeping? I actually wake up gasping for breath and in pain.

My SIL and I would get going with our self-deprecating humor and we'd be roaring in laughter over how we perceive ourselves. ..but ugh, I really am so sad over how I look. I found a picture of me when I was 18..omg, I was so sad! I thought what happened to me? But we can't stay young forever, but I STILL FEEL LIKE THAT GIRL in the picture. I don't want to look this way. i'm starting my life over, I want to feel good about myself. I'm so sorry you do same with covering your face or hound doggie jaw. I think of that cartoon character, it's a dog, but I can't think of the name, droopy? I don't know lol. Yeah, one day I looked in the mirror and I thought omgosh! what is wrong with my face, it's melting! I said it once to someone and they couldn't handle it...I guess I made them see it as well. :-( But that's what I see.

Did you reschedule your surgery? I was reading the long thread, where finally some good reports came in. (whew! what a relief!) and I was reading about some that had surgeries in the summer which exacerbated the swelling in the face, so maybe, ScareDCat, you should schedule for the winter? But I don't know where you live, maybe it's a warm climate year around! I live in the northeast and it's expected to be a cold, snowy winter. All the better for my surgery lol.

Yes, I hate those mirrors, I hate window reflections. I could be in a happy mood and catch a glimpse of me and I want to go home. :-(

I think my surgeon will be excellent. I like how he went about talking to me. When he first said he wasn't 'sure' he could help me, it was like a test really...and he went on about lots of divorced women come in and I said well, the difference is I filed for divorce and I've wanted this since my 30s, and now things are working out for me and I can do this, if i was still married, he would not allow it, but now I have MY life back. So we talked and he told me what he would do and what would change and said he could do it and I would be very pleased. I was so elated! I also liked (like I mentioned before) that he didn't say oh, you need x, y and z done as well. He didnt' want to put notions/thoughts and so forth in my mind so I would be thinking I needed all these things done when I didn't. I saw in a youtube vid, this surgeon was actually telling women all these things they needed done. Just doesn't seem right. Mine said no, he wouldn't, but if I had concerns to tell him. I did on one issue that bugged me since I was a teen and that was my chin (a weak chin) he said okay,you do have a weak chin, but you will look good after your facelift/neck lift. A chin implant would improve your appearance more and give better support, but it's not necessary,but I was never happy with my chin so I decided to have all procedures at once.

I'm glad you shopped around for the best surgeon too. It's our face, and you get what you pay for...I don't want regrets. It sounds like you really have a fabulous husband, you are so blessed. That's great he went with you and liked the surgeon best as well. Being afraid, or have concerns is good because we are aware of potential issues, and so we go into it with our eyes open and do our homework. Do you think you will reschedule? I think we both will be very pleased with our results and if you do, we can lean on each other while we heal and give progress reports. :-)

Hi ScareDCat, well, I completely understand and my condolences to you regarding your sweet mom. I'm so sorry. My mom was diagnosed with Cancer a year ago this month. She's still with me though, but she only weighs about 75 pounds if that. The doctors are amazed, actually, how well she has been doing. I've only told a few people about my desire, my daughter, and two of my closest friends. All are supportive. I did tell an online friend and she blasted me. Later she said so long as I'm doing it for myself... One friend knew I had wanted one for a long, long time...and she says go for it! LL talked about the tightened feeling around the neck like being choked or unable to swallow...I can't remember now, I'll have to reread it again, but it stuck in my head and I found myself 'practicing' what it might feel like by pulling my skin taunt hahaha! And it is a very uncomfortable feeling!

I'm going to go through with it, I even have started my 'face fund' lol. Because I can finance the surgery, but the hospital part...they want their money then/there, I guess. I have the jowls too. I HATE them...mine started in my 30s with weight gain and weight loss after having kids. WAsn't so bad then, but I knew it would be and I started covering my face with my hand all the time. that's only gotten worse holding my hand over my lower half of my face as though trying to hide my 'ugliness'. I always thought it looked like my face was melting on my head. I've researched surgeons and settled on the one I felt safe with. Amazing credentials, head of the department, affliated with 2 hospitals and so on. Even trained the other PS's out there...and I was prepared to walk away discouraged at the price tag, but much to my delight, he said he charges far below his colleagues, most of whom he trained. He has excellent reviews, so I know I'll be in good hands. I liked his approach as well as he was actually trying to see where I was regarding the facelift. Said it had to come from within and he may not be able to help me, but as we talked and at the end, he said "I can help you and you will be very happy with your results." I walked away on cloud 9. But then read here lol.

What you wrote, sounds like what I have to deal with. It's not pretty and I just want to hold my head up again and feel good. I'm not ready to look this awful! I've looked at hundreds of before and after shots and I've got youthful features and skin as he said as well, but the jowls and droopy top eyelids and my neck are dragging it all down and so I am looking worn, (really worn) so I'm scared, but I wish it was a month post op really. I'm getting ants in my pants to get it down, but I'm scared too, but I think it's a good thing to be scared.

I didn't think you made this about you. I enjoyed your sharing and your views. I know what you mean too. I don't feel my age at all. I feel like Im 17 still, so it drives me nuts when I feel silly and happy and then catch a reflection of myself and want to run off crying. Now it's like I don't need to catch a reflection because I have that burned in my mind of how horrible I look. (my view I know).

I've got to take my daughter to work now, but thank you for writing and thank you too LL. I need to comment on some things you wrote as well.