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Feeling soooo guilty...

  • **rosie**
  • Elmwood Park, NJ
  • 3 years ago

Hello ladies... My name is Rosie and Im in the process of interviewing PS for a TT. Ive been going over it in my mind... Should I? I shouldnt! Its driving me crazy... A little back story ~ 22 years ago I got pregnant and I gained A LOT of weight. I didnt think much of it (1) because I was very young and (2) because I was so in love with the idea of having a baby. Well long story short the baby past and I left the hospital almost 75 pounds heavier and covered in stretch marks (on every part of my small frame - start weight 115, end weight 208 - I'm 5' 1") Anyway... As you could imagine, I was greiving and in a short period of time lost most of the weight. Life went on but my body never returned to the way it was. I've spent the last 20 years wanting a TT. Ive tried every diet known to man, diet pills, liquid diets, you name it I've done it and guess what... My tummy has NEVER responded. Yes, I'll admit Im about 15 pounds from my ideal weight but nothing I do will ever make my abs flat. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I think about my tummy more than anything else. Its really worked on me over the years. Why havent I done it sooner? Financial obligations, raising a family, work. Too many reasons to list. But finally Im in a place in my life where I can actually do it but... I FEEL SO GUILTY!! I got my first consult and the end $ was $14,000 (TT, reconstructing my ab muscles and lipo of the flanks). I have been approved for 2 different medical loans but the interest rate is so high. I've considered just charging it to my credit card and pay it off over a period of time but the thought of doing it is making me feel so bad. Why cant I bring myself to do it? I've cried for 3 days straight going back and forth over this. I feel so selfish wanting to do this. Ladies that have had the surgery, did you have these feelings? Is this normal or am I just nuts? I live in Bergen County, NJ and the doctor I met with was Sherwood Baxt of Baxt Cosmedical. I have an appointment today with Michael Gartner, Paramus, NJ.

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So glad to hear that girls. Think of all the after photos we have seen and you are gonna be rockin your bods this summer!!!
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yay cant wait mom me, i am already looking at bikinis on line, it will be nice to wear one instead of a tankini, cant wait..i have seen a really cute one with a bikini top and short skirt with the bikini bottoms joined in i might get it. got a crampy pain just under my right rib today, think it is on a lipo site, not sure if its cos i have pulled it but meds are now kicking in, but yr right country gal it is getting better everyday. today is day 7 for me, now wishing for day 8 to get here lol..this journey gets more exiting as the days go on :) x
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my day 15pics are up...loving it x
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I found the same, but it does get better every day.
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my day 14 pics are up:)
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hi mom me, well i am on day 4 post op, pain is manageable with the meds,i am finding the lipo sites very sore and also the muscle repair, but all in all doing quite good..thankyou x
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littleowin I sure hope you are doing well, let us know when you are up and about please.
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my pre op pics are on my profile on the thread, tummy tuck tomorrow 23rd april x
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I spent almost 12 K, and I don't feel guilty in the least. We got some money after my mum died, and I decided I wasn't going to just pay bills with it and gone. It was an opportunity to finally do something for ME, without borrowing money or going short somewhere else, to do so.
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good for you, you would have got the bills sorted whether you were left money or not, its better to use it for something that you really want. my husband has paid for mine for my 50th birthday which is in june, and i feel really blessed. i felt guilty that it was such a lot of money, but i have wanted this for over 20 years. from what i can see the results look good, i am only day 2 post op, my lipo sites hurt more than the tummy tuck. x
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I totally understand your decision to get the surgery. It makes perfect sense. I would have done the same thing.

We (my husband and I) for the first time in our adult lives are debt free (with the exception of our mortgage) and I've managed to save every penny I could to put toward this surgery. I finally feel like, YES! Im going to do this for ME!! I wont lie, Im starting to freak out a little with the healing process but my job has been gracious enough to give me 2 full weeks off with no strings attached which is amazaing. My sister who is a LPN will be coming down to stay with me for the first few days and my husband took off of work for a few days as well. My son is 17 and will have my sister and his dad to help with the few things he may need help with so I am ready to do this!!
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It seems that we typically feel "guilty" anytime we do anything for ourselves but have no problem doing for others. Bravo to your husband for such a wonderful gift!

Hope you are feeling well these days.
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hi rosie, i have been reading your posts and that is exactly how i have felt all these years, guilt spending so much on myself, i used to think it was for my vanity and not worth all that money, but now i realise its not just vanity but for my confidence and well being, and my husband agrees. i am 49 with a son of 27 and a daughter of 30,we have been married nearly 28 years...so yes i decided it was me time and i am so glad i went ahead, my self esteem has lifted already and i am only day 2 post op and have not yet seen the results for myself, although i can see my tummy is very flat.i am so glad you have made your booking date x
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I agree with everything you just said 1000%!! We give to EVERYONE so selflessly (is that even a word? LOL) and never really take the time to take care of ourselves and do nice things for ourselves. I'll be 40 in January and finally its time I do something for myself and be okay with it.

I have been carrying around these negative feelings of myself for way too long. I am ready to let it all go and be happy with what I see in the mirror. I havent felt that way in a very long time and I can only imagine what it feels like.

Have you posted a review or pictures yet?
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well done rosie, i wish i had realised when i was a bit younger, but better late tan never, i have posted pre op pics which should be on my profile, i will put on post op as soon as i can. i cant wait to look in the mirror at the new me and new tummy button woo hoo x
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have a look at my day 14 pics :)
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I had a consult 5 hrs ago for 14,000. Didn't do it for the expense and I felt guilty spending the money on myself. Then being in a different place financially a few months ago, my husband said if I wanted this to do it- no guilt..... I deserve this and with his blessing and $$$$$, trust me. NO GUILT.
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That is exactly what my husband said. I've been talking about it for at least 20 years and he said that he knew how much it meant to me so I should do it guilt free and enjoy it. So... Thats exactly what Im going to do!! Its a total plus that I will pay for it in full and not have to think of over and again making monthly payments.
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It will be great to have it to look forward to, and you're right - we all waited a long time. It is SO worth it. :)
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That's terrific, Rosie. How can you stand to wait so long? I booked on Dec. 6 for Feb 2nd, and I could hardly stand the wait!
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Well... Truth is I want to do it tomorrow but because of my obligations to work, family, blah, blah, blah... I have to be more flexible with the timing. Booo!!

Truth is Ive waiting 20 years for this a few more months wont kill me. Plus I'll be able to pay cash (woo hoo!! no debt) and also the biggest thing is lose more weight. I know in my heart that really is the best thing to do. I know I could do it at the weight I am and I'd be fine but since I have to wait anyway I might as well make good use of my time. Ugh... I hate dieting, seems like I've been doing it forever but its totally worth it.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAY Rosie!! That's fantastic news. Reality setting in...I am sooo happy for you! BIG BIG SMILES!! :)
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OMG you made my night!! You are so sweet!!
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I'm so excited!! I booked the date for my surgery! It's not for a while (November 11th) but it's in motion and for the first time I feel like it's actually going to happen.

My goal at this point is to bring my weight down another 15 to 20 pounds. My doc thinks that's the best idea for the best result.
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You may not have trouble staying away. I know I didn't want to do anything for that time - not that I go to the gym! :D
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