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Can I actually expect to keep my surgery a secret from most people, including my small children?

  • themorales6
  • Hampton, VA
  • 3 years ago

I am planning my surgery for a date next month that coincides with my MIL taking my two oldest boys (13 & 10) out of the country for two weeks. Also, my mom and dad will be going out of the country two days later for two months. My husband knows about the surgery and is supportive (albeit a bit nervous), but he is going to be out of town on business the day of the surgery and for two days afterward. That leaves me with my younger boys (7 & 4). BUT, i have two excellent babysitters who have assured me they will step up to help with the boys as much as they're needed. And a friend of mine who had a TT and breast reduction two years ago has promised to take me to and from my surgery and stay at my house with me to take care of me for the first few days. (My babysitter will also take care of my friend's twin 8-year-old boys whenever needed if she is with me.) So..... i figure i can tell my littles that mommy had to have more surgery on her private parts (like i did in February for an ovarian cyst and rectocele/cystocele repair). And I figure anyone else would be told the same thing, but only if i HAD to say anything at all. Does this sound crazy??? Possible??

Comments (4)

Hi Themorales6:) I totaly get it. My inlaws are the same way. they told me if i were to have a tt surgery I am vain and selfish. So since they are being dorks about it my husband and i have chosen to "hide" it from them. It makes it a little easier to do this because we live in a different state than they do. my inlaws are coming just before Christmas so i planned my surgery for after they have left. So i go in jan.5 so I won't be seeing them for about 3 months after. i think that will give me plenty of time to recover enough that they may not notice:)
I feel that if your humble about the whole process then there is nothing vain about it. we as women just want our bodies back. We have payed our dues and it is time we do something for ourselves!!!
Thank you so much for the support! Although I'm still uncertain about whether it is financially responsible to go forward with this, I am not "ashamed" that I am doing it. But I know most people in my life would judge me harshly, mainly for being so "selfish" and "vain".

Just ignore any snide comments and know you are worth this.  You do not owe anyone an explanation or an apology. 

You are worth it and deserve it so move forward with your head held high.


Does not sound crazy at all and totally possible.  Only tell those you trust because people can be so judgmental and harsh.

It's really not anyone's business so just tell them it was female surgery and leave it at that.  Much easier that way...