did anyone have trouble with your husband not wanting you to do it

  • grannyinpa
  • 2 years ago

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Sorry I haven't been on here in a long time. My husband was very concerned about the health risk part of it all and all the unknowns things he could come up with. It of course was no shock to him when I had mentioned it since I met him 10 years before my surgery. He just thought I was not going to follow threw......ever. Well one day I got a job and someone mentioned that a coworker had it done. Well a light bulb went off that I could too. I came home and just announced " like it or not... They are going". Hubby was pissy for a few weeks but he got over it. Mostly he was scared. He hated the thought of someone throwing a piece of me away. Even the morning of my surgery he was asking me if I was sure. Lol he ever asked " what if your boobies wind up ugley.". ..lol. I said I would love them even more ugley pain free and smaller than i would huge painful and dragging the floor in a few years. Now we are 2 years post op and he loves these ones too. We even had a baby6 months ago. Your hubbies are probably like mine. They will be OK once it is over. Too much information made my hubby mad. Keep it simple and try to relax. After is wonderful.
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My husband is very worried about the surgery. I hate putting him through it. However, I am still going through with it. 1 week from today!!
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concern about the surgery is normal and he will be fine. what is harder is if you have a partner that feels your huge boobs are the best thing about you and does not want you to go smaller. personally I would ditch a man like that, I always hated the idea that i was defined by my boobs.
Good for you Keydreamer; when you know it is the right thing to do it isn't a choice really I feel. To update on my post on here, I am 8 weeks PO now, and now that it is all my my husband is really glad I did it. He sees the difference in my posture and he knows I have no more neck pain, and he now admits that it was the best thing to do - especially now I have lots of nice new dresses and strappy tops to wear on holiday :) It was hard on him, as he is a worrier, so I felt bad putting him through, but I knew it was worth it and now he gets lots of kisses for having looked after me well during recovery ;)
No trouble with my hubby because I've trained him WELL... Lol
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Honey, remember these 4 words: YOUR BODY. YOUR CHOICE
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My husband is not impressed either. He feels I am 'mutilating' my body, and although he appreciates the problems I have with posture, pain in back etc. He is very much against the procedure because of the risks. I am lucky though in that he will definitely support me if (when!) I decide to go ahead, and will certainly look after me regardless.
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My husband is being great. When I told him I wanted to do it, he was not shocked or anything, I think he fully understands that although he loves my boobs, they are abnormally large and that causes me a lot of mental and physical discomfort. He came to my consultation because i wanted him to know exactly what was going to happen and to be able to ask any questions he had. I want him to come to my pre-op appointment for the same reason. He will take care of me after the surgery, he is a good cook and can do everything around the house. it helps that we are both early retired. I think he is looking forward to proving himself. What I hate is when you read of guys "refusing to let" their partner do it, or posting "What if I don't fancy her anymore" as if a mature, loving relationship is based on something as superficial as big boobs. If that's the case, you deserve better. None of us ever asked to be the girl with the big boobs, that label gets in the way of who you really are. Rant over!!!!
hi Peediewife No, that isn't the case for me, fortunately. My other half is just worried for my health, in particular about the op and them 'cutting me up' as he calls it, he worries a lot. It is not for the sake of my having big boobs (funnily enough, I seem to have chosen to marry the only boyfriend that wasn't booby mad!). Scary though that there are so many cavemen out there. You are really lucky to have a husband who is so understanding, and can do the housey stuff, esp. the cooking. I fear I may get spag bol each night ;)
Better fill the freezer before you have your surgery!
Haha, that is my plan in fact!
We must be married to the sane man. I had the surgery already. My body, my choice. "You didn't need it, I liked the way you were before" Sorry, I did need it. My saggy H cup breasts had to go
congratulations on going ahead Jill, hope it went really well :) I absolutely agree, it is my body, and for me heaving all that weight around and looking like one big booby is no way to live. My OH isn't concerned about my changing the way I look in fact, and he does agree with my reasons to do it - he is worried about the risks of the surgery itself, and my being 'cut up'. I think that is understandable, but at the end of the day if I am prepared to put up with the pain of surgery, then he will just have to get used to the fact too. It just dampens the excitement a bit, of actually having it done!
I am really luck that my boyfriend approves of the surgery. He knows the pain and problems I have had. It was really cute because I told him that I wanted him to come to the consultation with me and he was worried that the doctor would think I was doing it for him. I just laughed and was like "I don't think that will be a problem, most boyfriends are not encouraging women to cut off large portions of their breasts."
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My husband was not a fan of my decision, although he supported my right to do it. In his mind, they were perfect. I have always been self conscious, though I never really talked about it much. I made the appointment with PS, scheduled the surgery, and THEN told my husband five days before the procedure. In retrospect, that wasnt really fair. I am now 18 days post op and wish I were further along in my recovery. My husband hasn't wanted to see them yet......hopefully soon.
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Interesting discussion... My hub has heard me talk about this surgery for years, so no surprise in concept that I moved ahead with it. He was surprised at how fast I pulled the surgery together. He never opposed the surgery, but would have been fine if I didn't do it.

He too loved the "girls", but knew I didn't feel as much love for them....and in fact, I felt less desirable because they were such shapeless blobs from my POV. Some jiggle is nice, but who wants to risk a concussion when having fun between the sheets?

Also I found over the years that it wasn't really pleasurable (or unpleasurable) when the girls were played with. I think between the stress to the nerves fibers from the sheer weight of the breasts, I felt next to nothing. Plus, when you greet the world boobs first because they touch every table, car steering wheel, etc. before you hands do....a touch is less special. I never harped of this too much with my hub, but I think he will find our intimate moments more interesting because of the surgery - assuming he can move past the Franken-boob scars, etc. He hasn't looked at the new girls yet, except when I have worn a bra. He'll get there.
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I must say when I brought the idea to my husband he was less than impressed. In fact at first he would not even talk to me about it. He adored my huge boobies. They were his favorite toys. But me being head strong and determined I made an appointment any how. I told my hubby that the PS said he needed to be there (NOT TRUE). So My hubby went to the appointment with me. After talking with the PS and getting all the info my hubby was more on board. He was not excited like I was mind you but at least now he knew why I wanted it and knew what the bennifets to having it done were. I had my surgery on May 25 and my hubby is more excited than I am now. He came home yesterday and told me he can't wait to take me shopping !
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