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BR assessment- (in the UK ) on 13th April 2012. Scared and excited- help!!!!

  • Deb uk
  • UK
  • 2 years ago

Hello there! Can anyone help? As i have stated above, i have my assessment and like most women on here (i've been reading your messages for months now) I am excited and terrified at the same time. A colleague at work had a BR in Jan 2012 and said it was worth it, which gave me the green light to get it sorted. Any advice or words of encouragement would be very appreciated. I  think i am worried i wont get through the op or they will be too big afterwards or worse still, they will grow back.... I am 47 and had 2 planned C-Sections which were ok- not as bad as i thought (although i was terrified at the time) but now i am older i am really scared. I dont smoke or take the contraceptive pill and i weigh around 12st at 5ft 7 so i hope that weight wont be a factor. What is worse is my hips and legs are fine - i can fit in a size 12 (UK) -I dont know what size this is in the US-(sorry) but my rib measurement is 34 inches. I have to wear a size 20 top which meaks me look huge as my breasts are a 34GG. People always comment on how big and top heavy i look and it makes me upset. I so want to wear nice bras and get married in a strapless dress and wear nice things instead of struggling to buy tops and wearing black tops all of the time. I have always been top heavy even when i lost alot of weight following a nasty divorce, my boobs stayed a GG but i was 28 inches GG!! Horrible! Can anyone offer me some words of encouragement? I think the procedure is the same here in the UK as the US only we dont have a mammogram just a physical examination to check of lumps etc. I am paying for this myself and my only worries are about post op pain, will i survive (yes i am a wuss) and will they grow back and end up big again?? Silly I know but i am mworried about having to go through another op if something goes wrong. Can anyone help me please??? Thank you Debs UK x x      

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Hi Deb! Was just reading through your story (I'm 55 and a 36G, no surgery scheduled yet...1st consult next week) and had to tell you that, when I read:

"I'm a 'just do it' kind of wuss as i want it so much and i know the freedom it will bring. I am just scared of that small window of time between being in pre-op anaesthesia room and waking up. I will just have to deal with it i think as i know its going to be hard but its also a short amount of time compared with a life free of pain and normal sized boobs. "

I almost cried. That's EXACTLY the scariest part for me. The damned GA. I have no idea whatsoever what's so comforting about knowing others share our fears, but there's SOMETHING. I'm not all that worried about the pain (drugs, thank you very much) or the scars (please, I'm 55...there's no part of my body that doesn't reflect SOME sort of living!) But when it comes to the GA and going under...that's when I hit a mental wall. Can't really imagine the sheer exhaustion afterwards either, but that's another thing entirely. I figure that the one place I will just have to take a giant leap of faith...the one thing I will truly not be able to even PRETEND I can control, is the GA. So, if this boils down to the several seconds between the IV going in and us "going to sleep", well, we can just close our eyes and take that ONE leap, right? Everything else we have some form of control over. I'll be following your journey closely; best of luck!
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Hi Piggles70,
I am glad it helped you. I am a wuss- the biggest wuss in the world!! I agree with you about the 'giant leap of faith'. I am going to keep thinking 'just do it' and wake when its done.
I have many reasons for the fear of GA and i dont want to put them on here as i dont want to scare anyone reading this site. All i will say is a c-section i had went wrong and i lost alot of blood. I didn't have a GA it was a spinal for the C-Section and i suppose seeing and hearing all that went on didnt help me. If i had the choice sleep is better as we are not hearing what is going on!
What is also helping my fear is my boobs are a 'pedicle'!! They are not 'in' my body if you understand what i mean? For a c-section, the Dr cut my muscles and was 'inside' my body... for a BR is all 'out of my body' as breast is glandular and fatty tissue which is on my chest using skin. (i'm being simplistic i know but in essence it is a pedicle)
During PMT my boobs hurt like hell and if i trap part of my boob in my bra, the nipple is sore when i take it off. It really hurts and its given me some idea of how it may hurt post op BR. If its like that i can handle it. I've bought Oil of Evening Primrose capsules which are good for breast pain and i am taking them before and after BR with my Dr's blessing.
I'm 48 piggles and i have waited so long for this.
I will post as soon as i am back in my room post op as they have wi-fi. I will reassure you and anyone else as i do 'say it like it is.' I can describe things really well!
Yes we can close our eyes and leap babes, that's exactly what i am going to do and trust in god/universe/fate and whatever else governs our existence. Then i will wake up with a lighter chest and a new life free of heavy boobs....then i will really live!
Glad i can help and being on here DOES help. I read this site as often as i can- usually each day to keep my spirits up! We can do this piggles.
Lots of love Debs xx
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Hi Deb: well, if it's true confessions time, I'll let you in on my dirty little secrets. I'm on my phone at moment (away for weekend), but will post again later today or tomorrow. I, too, didn't initially want to talk about my two issues because they scare only me and should in no way impact others' considerations, but I'm still loathe to add to anyone else's proportionate response fears. Anyway, more later when I can either get on real keyboard in lobby or have more time on mini phone keyboard. Off to check your surgery date now....missed it first time round.

xoxo Peg in NY
(but living in Toronto)
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Glad you are doing good! I will take your advice to make sure i have lots to do. Magazines, books, music and TV which i dont get to watch is on my agenda!
Oh, and updating this forum on my recovery details. I cannot wait to be a 'post op'!
I am so in awe of all of you who have had it done.
x x x x
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Marla2012, Thank you!

How are you in your recovery?
X x x x
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I am doing pretty good! I find that if I do too much I swell up. The other day we all tried to go out to lunch and by the time I got home I was swollen under my arms. I get tired easily, I just don't have my energy back yet. I am trying to continue to take it easy and just be patient. My bruises are finally fading more and the scabs are coming off the incisions. Looking a little less scary now. I am not really in any pain. Most of my discomfort now is from sleeping elevated. I am really glad my family is helping with everything around the house. It will be important for you to take the first 2 weeks to recover. Planning ahead to be ready for the time off is the key. : )
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That is a relief! Is it normal for surgeries to be done on the weekends in the UK?
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Hi iowa,

I thought exactly the same when I read my letter. When I saw '30th June' i looked in my diary what day that was and it was a saturday. I checked with my PS and he said he sometimes does his private work at the weekends so yes i think our private hospitals do use a weekend maybe to get their waiting list down.
I know in the NHS we sometimes do procedures on a bank holiday on in patients if the list for investigative procedures is getting too long. Staff are paid a bit extra, usually time and a half or double time depending on the hospital.
So i will go in for 7am and my PS will mark up my boobs. I will then go for my anaesthesia... the time i am marked up to anaesthetic will be my 'terrified time' and my nervousness will get the better of me. Thats where i am really scared- that short period of time where you go to sleep... i really dislike it!! I want to wake up and its all done. I'll be ok then!! I can deal with pain with meds and i will be having a long (very long !!) discussion with my anaesthetist . I can deal with pain as long as i know i will have meds to calm it down!! Yes you may have guessed my nerves are kicking in as i know now its all booked and its a countdown... x x x x
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I was worried too that I would be nervous but as soon as I got there they gave me some meds to help me relax. Once I saw my Dr I felt a lot better. As soon as they had me on the table I started to feel nervous and the nurse put her hands on my face and said, everything will be fine, that's the last thing I remember! It seemed like it was over so fast. I woke up fine and the nurses were great about taking care of me. I walked out 2 hours later and went home. Having babies was much harder than this by far! You will be fine : )
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I have wondered about the Saturday thing because I've seen a couple other girls had theirs on that day, including one from Ireland and I don't know of that happening anywhere here. Will you be allowed to have someone with you between the time that you are marked and the time you are taken back for anesthesia. My husband was allowed in with me so that made the time go much faster. I also had a book...not something that required a lot of concentration though, because I think my brain had truly stopped working by that point...that I was able to use for distraction.  I bet you will do much better than you think you will!
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Hi Iowa,
Yes i will have my partner in with me. I will take in a book/magazine but like you say i probably wont be able to focus!!I'll probably pace the floor and just accept i am terrified ...until they knock me out!
I will ask for them to just inject ...
(GA's are IV here in the UK not mask for alot of reasons- too long to mention here).
... and no asking me to count back from 10 or anything as i will panic more. I'm a 'just do it' kind of wuss as i want it so much and i know the freedom it will bring. I am just scared of that small window of time between being in pre-op anaesthesia room and waking up. I will just have to deal with it i think as i know its going to be hard but its also a short amount of time compared with a life free of pain and normal sized boobs. x x
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Hi all,
Just wanted to update you all!
Went to my pre-op/2nd assessment this evening.
I had no questions to ask but i did need a letter as HR at work said my op is a 'cosmetic procedure'.
But, thank goodness my PS has said 'its not cosmetic...its to relieve symptoms of pain, therefore, its reconstructive'.
So a letter is going to HR so I can be paid sick pay when i am off work, as HR wanted me to use annual leave and\or unpaid leave...even though I am paying for this BR myself as the NHS here won't pay for it.
That's a weight off my mind and now I want the weight off my chest!!! LOL!!
love to you all x x x x
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Never hesitate to reach out for that lifeline! I didn't think I would still be on this site daily 8 months after my surgery. But I find that I'm kind of addicted to the stories and I hope to share some of my experience to ease other's anxieties and worries. And never worry about writing long posts. I tend to be quite verbose myself and this is the best place to rant and rage. It is safe to do it here...and we all "get" it! But outsiders would think we are crazy! So we have to stick together and one by one we will all get to the other side!
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Iowa71,
how true! No one fully understands how i feel about this op!
My partner is very supportive and its partly down to him encouraging me that i am going ahead with it.
I had my letter on saturday morning (28th april) and the date for my surgery is saturday 30th June. Unusual i know but he is doing it before he goes on holiday for 3 weeks and he likes to see his patients before he discharges them home. I am going to a private hospital which means i am in hosp for 2 nights, 3 days. The PS likes to see his patients each day and again once the drains are taken out and the dressings are off before he lets you go home.
Like you i love reading the experiences of other women. I dont think anyone who has 'normal' boobs can ever understand how big ones can make life so hard. Alot of women say they 'envy' me my big chest and the attention i get! (i dont want nor do i see the stares, as i dont like it or want it...)
-That is until i show them the strap marks.... I dont think they fully realise how painful it is. I do wonder if those women who have big breast implants have shoulder back and neck pain etc?? Just a thought...
I am pleased to hear the post op pain is described as 'soreness' or 'burning' as i think i can cope with that, as long as i have good meds!
I have sent you a PM if thas ok?
Thank you for your support iowa, you are a gem! x x x x
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You are going to do great, Deb. The surgery itself isn't too bad. And if you made it through 2 C-sections then this will be no big deal! They don't cut through muscle so you don't have that pain when you cough, sneeze or laugh. It is just a tightness really. I didn't use any pain medicine other than Tylenol after the second day and I was up walking around and feeling relatively decent. I'm confident you will be fine. After you have the surgery so many people will think you have lost weight! Most don't realize how little a lot of us are because so much focus goes directly to our huge chests, but even some of my women friends have said they never realized how petite I really am. It sounds like we may have a similar build, only you are significantly taller than I am. I am only 5 foot tall (although since surgery I've actually been measuring about 5 foot and 3/4 inch!) weigh about 140ish and was a 34H before surgery. I had almost 500 gm removed from each side and that took me to a 34DD. I since have had some lipo on the sides and am about a 34D. I go back to the doctor in two weeks and we will decide if we are going to do anything else trying to get me closer to that much coveted C cup. Though I will say this...even if I don't go down any more my life has been so dramatically impacted by this procedure. I am exercising and running, which I've never done before in my adult life...and I'm 41. I'm more confident in clothes, and I just feel good about me. I know there are a lot of anxieties. But if you have decided to have the surgery, don't let fear keep you from it. Get on here and vent and worry all you need to and the rest of us will be here to support you through. Good luck and keep us posted!
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Hi again Iowa71,
Thank you for your kind reply. It really means alot to me. This site is like a lifeline - i dont know what i would have done without it. The support is so necessary to get through it well for me getting though the op. I just want to wake up and find its all done.
I will keep posting and i will take photos so i can tell myself i am brave just like all you girls on here. I really admire you for doing it and i cant wait to be on the post op side!
Lots of love
x x x x
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You will be so happy! Everybody on here has the same fears and are so happy with the results. I was concerned about them growing back also. My PS said with my age (48) they should not. If they do it would be just a tiny bit when menopause hits. It is always scary getting put under but honestly it is so fast you won't even know it. As far as the pain, take your pain meds the first day or two and you will be fine. The pain is really not bad. You are just kind of sore more than in pain. Good Luck to you!
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Hi vivav66 and missyCT,
Thank you for your comments. I have written about my 1st assessment on another subject heading, rather than follow my 1st posting. The surgeon was great and i am relieved to hear the pain isnt that bad. I thought i'd be in agony after my c-section but it wasnt that bad!
Debs xx
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so far my doctor has said loose weight.... but in barnsley (south yorkshire) which isnt far from you it is possible and the criteria are bmi of less then 30 and cup size dd and above. of course you need other symptoms but well all have those. so im have not been offered it yet but im going to fight for it coz i think it shouldnt be met with such negativity. yes we will look better but its all the other issues, anything else cause pain would be sort asap by the NHS.

as for the surgery its whats delayed me all this time really. iam scared too, im not good with pain and i have never had ant surgery but i think you are right you have too keep telling yourself it will be ok. And we are all here to express your worry to, either peopel have been through it or are thinking about it.

I just tell myself that when its done i will not spend hours each day worry and feeling pain because of breast that are too big. And that wonder of that motivates me to keep going.

Always here to chat :) xx
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Hello, its me. I cant help you with how painful it will be but considering I am just thinking about getting my consultation as i said I can give you encouragement. we have very similar figures it would seem around 12 st im 5"8 and a 34g which you know so can can identify with it all, and we deserve to be able to shop and live like everyone else. What else can i can say: it will be worth it... all the choice you will have with clothes and underwear and the pain that will be gone. You will get to wear the wedding dress you want and look fantastic in it(and whats better not be worry about how it looks on the day), you will survice the pain i am sure if you have manged to deal with 2 c sections, and they wont grow back if you maintain your wieght. Things will be ok and I am sure the results will have been worth all the worry and time. Its better late than never I say ! I wish you lots of luck and keep us posted on everything :)
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Hi missy CT,
thank you so much for your reply. Just knowing there are people out there who understand helps alot.
For years i have endured remarks about
.....'how slim you are down here -pointing to my legs and bum- but up there you are so big.'...
When i am in a positive frame of mind I remember what people have posted on here and I also take note of the fact its normal to be nervous. I keep thinking how is only a few hours for the procedure and it will be done and over with. Then i think how great it will feel to be free of these boobs.
I saw a TV programme here in the UK about a lady aged 36 who has 40JJ breasts but who was a size 16-18 (UK size). Her UK surgeon said how he had never operated on such big boobs before and wasn't 100% sure how much scarring and shape she would be etc.
After the op she still had her steri-strips on and was bruised, ( yellow and black so approx 1-2 weeks post op i think). She was moving her breast around with her hand and touching the scars etc but the striking aspect of it was her face! She looked like a weight had gone from her and she walked better, stood straighter and had a real chest instead of breast hanging from her shoulders all the time. I am trying most of the time- to focus on this but the 25% of me (which is a big wuss) is stressing about the anaesthesia (will i wake up) which i know i will, but also waking up in pain. I will make sure the anaesthetist understands my concern. Here in the UK tho' its a very different attitude and saying how scared you are is met with a stiff upper lip attitude!
eg say nothing and deal with it!!
Thank you for 'listening' to my worries. I will stay focussed on the pretty bras available and how i'll look in one when i am fully recovered and try not o let he negative take me over... I'll post on friday evening when i get back from the private hospital. x x
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Missy CT, I have only just realised you are in the UK too.
I live in Derbyshire. I have re-read your first posting and i hope you dont mind me asking but were you offered a BR under the NHS?
I'm not fixated on this just interested as Derbyshire doesn't offer this and if my Dr agrees the NHS should do it i would have to travel to Nottingham where he works as an NHS surgeon.
As i am reading the forum i am wishing it was done and i was able to ype my expereince for others to benefit from! What a lovely position to be in... BR done and recovery to work though. So much to look forward to.
x x
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