10 Funniest Plastic Surgery Tweets of the Week

When they bury me and dig me up, they'll discover I'm absolutely non-biodegradable and non-recyclable.
-- Joan Rivers

Here are last week's 10 funniest tweets about plastic surgery (in no particular order):

10 Funniest Tweets

 

Remember to be specific in life. A friend just came back from getting a boob job with 'Silly cone implants.'

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Utah Ranks #8 for Most Plastic Surgeons Per Person

When you think of Utah, what comes to mind - BYU, mountains, Mormons and plastic surgeons?  Yes, folks, Utah has lots of plastic surgeons.  The state often associated with a religion that requires body-hiding undergarments  was recently ranked 8th for having the most plastic surgeons per capita in the United States.

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Biggest Loser Contestant Amanda Arlauskas Opting for Lipo

Amanda Arlauskas, a popular contestant from season 8 of The Biggest Loser says 'Yes' to lipo.

Amanda, who has her procedure scheduled for late September, has a medical condition called Lipedema, which causes her body to store excess fatty tissue in her legs. This tissue--called Lipodermic Fat--can't be lost through diet or exercise, leaving liposuction as her best hope of getting rid of it.

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Oregon Health Regulatory Board Bans Groupons

Oregonians may no longer find deals for dental or chiropractic services. Two health related regulatory boards in the state are asking their members to abstain from Groupon-type deals: The Oregon Board of Dentistry and the Board of Chiropractic Examiners. 

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Tan Lines Don't Lie: Women Love to Flaunt New Breasts

Apparently breast size isn't the only thing that changes when you get implants.  Our photo galleries show that many women seem to spend more bikini-clad time in the sun once they are enhanced.  Take a look for yourself! 

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Did Barry Manilow Contract a Dangerous Infection?

It's no secret that the famous singer-songwriter is keen on occasion (read: frequent) nips and tucks, but did Barry Manilow contract the deadly MRSA bacteria from so much time on the table?

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Reconstructive Surgery Patient J.R. Martinez Joins "Dancing with the Stars"

Dancing with the Stars announced its new cast this week, and one of the contestants receiving the most buzz is J.R. Martinez. A soap opera star and Army veteran, Martinez underwent major reconstructive surgery on his face following serious injuries he received in the line of duty.

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Cosmetic Surgery Anxiety? 7 Tips to Calm Your Nerves

So the big day for the new you has finally arrived! Up until today you were shaking with excitement, but now you're scared out of your mind. Try these 7 tips to help yourself relax:

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New Boobs at 75 - The Senior Plastic Surgery Trend Continues

There's been a lot of talk lately about the (perceived) rising age of plastic surgery patients. We recently discussed the Orange County woman who had a boob job at 83.  The Today Show just profiled 75-year-old Sherri Cook,  a feisty senior who underwent cosmetic surgery to get breast implants and a lift.

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72% of Young Women Want Plastic Surgery

If you have any doubt that attitudes toward cosmetic surgery are changing with each subsequent generation, look no further than a survey published by More! magazine. A poll of 1,000 readers found that 72% of women in their twenties would like to have plastic surgery.

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Ouch! Paintball Pops Woman's Breast Implant

Have breast implants? Then think twice before you go paintballing. Those put-in "pillows" may need some cushioning of their own -- and one British woman found out the hard way (no pun intended?). 

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Facelift for Fido? Pet Plastic Surgery Surges

Forget the growing number of boob jobs in the U.S. today.  More and more people are getting other types of plastic surgery - for their pets.

We've discussed the top craziest pet plastic surgeries on RealSelf before - with the number #1 procedure being fake testicles.  As reported by ABC, Neuticles, the fake, bean-shaped testicles made out of solid silicone come in a range of sizes for your neutered dog to maintain pride and self-esteem.  Gosh, I wish we were making this up.  Neuticles' site says "over 250,000 pets worldwide have been Neuticled since 1995."  Again, we did not make that up.

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Darryn Lyons' Abdominal Etching: How About Those "Abs"?

Check out the abs on notorious paparazzo Darryn Lyons. If you’re not accustomed to seeing such defined abdominal muscles on that thick of a build, you’re not alone. The UK is abuzz about Lyons’ unlikely six-pack after he revealed his new plastic surgery-enhanced look on Celebrity Big Brother this week.

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That Fake Tattoo Goes Where??

We've discussed the pros and cons of permanent tattoos of all kinds on RealSelf.  Let’s take a look at some unconventional temporary tattoos – not the kind you wear on game day. Unconventional as in where you put these temp pieces of art.

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Breast Implants in 3D: New Technology Offers Preview of How They Look Under Clothes

We all wish we had a crystal ball, especially when it comes to body modification.  What you want to look like vs. what you end up looking like don't always match.  Researchers from two Swiss universities have developed a simulation program that allows you to see yourself with new boobs - and what they'll look like under clothes.

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Did You Know It's National Hair Loss Awareness Month? 5 Ways to Get More Hair

August is National Hair Loss Awareness Month – how are things looking on top of your head?

If your hair is a little (or a lot) sparser than you’d like it to be, you’re not without options. Here are 5 methods you can try in order to regain lush locks...

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Male Breast Lifts? There's No Gender Bias in Plastic Surgery

These five procedures are generally tailored for women, so why would a man request them? Read on to find out.

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Would You "Needle" Your Face for Beauty? Hong Kong Warns Against Derma Roller

Would you voluntarily poke your face with needles just to get younger-looking skin?  Apparently, many women are willing to do so - so much that the Chinese government is issuing strict warnings.

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UK Student Cuts Tongue to Speak Korean

Talk about doing anything for an "A."  A 19-year-old student in Great Britain has voluntarily cut part of her tongue to lengthen it - all to speak better Korean.

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5 Things You Need to Know About DIY Botox

It made its first appearance in late 2008. Now, it yields over 2 million hits on Google and has step-by-step tutorials on YouTube. Do-it-yourself Botox and other dermal filler kits are sweeping through nations around the world, but is it safe?

 

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I Do...Want Plastic Surgery Before My Wedding

Every woman wants to look her best on her wedding day. For most brides this means finding the perfect dress, but for others it means doing a little something extra by way of cosmetic enhancement… hello, Bridalplasty! Here are five questions that brides-to-be asked the RealSelf experts before walking down the aisle.

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4 Reasons You Gain Weight After Gastric Bypass

With a 96% Worth-It Rating, gastric bypass surgery has been a savior for obese patients hoping to look and feel healthier. Though the results may seem miraculous, according to Long Island Bariatric surgeon Dr. Shawn Garber, lost weight is regained in about 20-30% of patients. Here are four reasons why people put back on the pounds after bariatric surgery, and what they can do about it:

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Heidi Montag Regrets Having 10+ Cosmetic Procedures

Face it, it's a little harder to undo a plastic surgery "mistake" than say, a few bad decisions over a night of drinking.  But, don't feel bad.  Wanting revision surgery is not out of the ordinary - just ask Heidi Montag.

The 24-year-old reality starlet recently opened up about the travails into her plastic surgery "Barbie" transformation - and her obvious regrets. 

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Happy Birthday, Madonna! How Plastic Surgery Gave Her a Youthful Face at 53

Madonna turns 53 today, but if it weren’t for the fact that she’s been in the public eye for 30 years now, you might guess that she’s even younger. After all of these years, how does she still look so fresh-faced and like a virgin? The obvious answer is plastic surgery, but Madonna won’t say, instead stating, “I’m not against plastic surgery – I’m against discussing it.” That’s okay, Madonna, I’d be happy to discuss it for you, as I live to tell. Happy Birthday, you lucky star!

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Gwyneth Paltrow Says Plastic Surgery is Vain

Academy Award winning actress and "singer" Gwyneth Paltrow admitted to the German edition of OK! that she refuses "to use silicone, Botox or other of those gimmicks out of pure vanity."

Oddly enough, she admits in the same interview that she'd consider having her post-baby breasts "corrected": "But a breast correction after breast feeding — why not? There's actually nothing else to restore the original condition, is there?"

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Hate Your Square Jaw? Change It With This Bone-Shaving Procedure

A growing number of people want new faces.  But, we're not talking about just a new nose or removing fat under that chin.  It's about chiseling, cutting, and shaving away bone.  The more invasive trend was recently studied in Asia.

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Jersey Shore's Deena and JWoww Admit to Plastic Surgery

Between a busy schedule of GTL (gym, tan, laundry), Jersey Shore cast member Deena Cortese found time to have a nose job, and she’s not too shy to admit it. Deena, a BFF of poofed-hair icon Snooki, doesn’t consider plastic surgery something to be ashamed of, saying “more power to you” if you have work done

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Eat Your Way to Whiter Teeth

Want a Hollywood smile like Scarlett?  Apparently, you can eat your way to a brighter smile.  A recent report listed the best foods to eat for whiter teeth -- a yummier way to a whiten.

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Chimp Attack Victim Charla Nash Debuts New Face

You may recall the horrific 2009 attack on Charla Nash - the woman who was basically eaten alive when her friend's pet 200 pound chimpanzee, Travis, went on a xanex-driven and fearful rampage.  Two years later, she received a face transplant to replace her eyelids, nose, lips and jaw that she lost from the accident.  Her new face was revealed this morning on the Today Show with Ann Curry.

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Kris Jenner Gets Facelift -- And Gets Sued?

Kris Jenner, the supermom of the Kardashian girls has recently been embroiled in a controvery of her own.  But, it's not an adult video, thank goodness.  It's for getting some work done.

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