11 Amazing (and Real) Workplace Explanations For Brazilian Butt Lift Surgery
Nicole Karlis on 5 Sep 2013 at 9:00am
Butt seriously, folks: How does a woman explain to her co-workers why she suddenly has a seriously ri-donk-ulous booty and can't sit down normally?
In case you didn't know, the Brazilian butt lift (BBL) is -- no other way to say it -- huge. Butt lifts have increased 235% in popularity over the last decade, and the BBL community on RealSelf is a bootylicious wonder. (It has its own language. Ever heard of fluffin'? Boppy pillow? Exactly.)
Plenty more about this fat-transfer-from-lipo-to-butt procedure in our BBL channel. BBLs present one major issue: How to explain to your unsuspecting co-workers post-op why A) you all of a sudden have the rump of Kim K/Nicki Minaj/Coco Austin and B) you can't sit in a normal chair any length of time. As with all things BBL, the excuses RealSelfers have used to explain their "condition" range from the strange to the sublimely bizarre. (See below -- and join the conversation here).
1. I Had Anal Relocation Surgery
"Anal relocation surgery.... it will have them Googling within minutes. And they will mind their own business." -- Vambie
2. I Had Surgery For Hemorrhoids
"Personally I would rather tell people I had hemorrhoid surgery (of course I like to shock people) but can you imagine how quick they would shut up?! So far no one has asked although some have noticed my pillows everywhere in my office and I am sure I am flashing everyone in the building everytime I get in and out of my car sitting on these same pillows! This weekend I am seeing the in-laws. It will either be sciatic nerve or hemorrhoid I think." --IVMama
"Hmmmm, well I was planning on telling people that I injured my tail bone when I have to sit on boppy pillow or stand etc.... but I never thought of the hemorrhoid excuse. Good one!" -- Hopscotch
3. I Fractured My Tailbone
"Well, coming from a nurse and spouse of an orthopedic surgeon there are some excuses I have for my BBL. Yes, you can claim hemorrhoids, but I'd rather admit BBL lol. You fell down and fractured your coccyx. This is what I will be using...My back up is that I had a hernia and when they went in to repair [it] I told them go ahead and lipo, why the hell not lol. It's easy to come up with a medical problem and most people won't further question it... Unless they're assholes, but I think it's hard to hide the noticeable change in dress attire. It's hard enough hiding garments!!"-- Sponge Bob Chika
4. I Got Liposuction On My Back & Inner Thighs
"I told my supervisor that I'm have lipo to my back and inner thighs because they are large and cause discomfort when I walk, so I advised I couldn't sit for 2 to 3 weeks . She's excited for me, but my coworkers have no idea." -- LeslieMosko
5. I Have Been Working Out Like Crazy!
"I have heard someone say they have been doing 'lunges!' :0)" -- 50 Going On 35
6. I Got Hernia Surgery
"I told my job I was having hernia surgery, which requires 4-6 weeks recovery. I put in written request last week and it's been approved. Your doctor should be able to help with written verification. Good luck." -- highsididdy
7. I Had A Hip Condition And It Needed An Injection
"Bursitis in your hip and you had it injected...." -- Sponge Bob Chika
8. I Needed To Correct My Sciatica
"Oh, my massage lady told me today that Sciatic Nerve is one you can tell. She sees people all of the time with this and their doctors tell them to not sit or to keep from sitting on their butts!!! I told her I was going to use the hemorrhoid one, but this is less embarrassing! haha"-- IVMama
9. I Called It Tushy Surgery (And Didn't Elaborate)
"Okay this past week I had in-laws, friends and co-workers asking me. This is what I said and then I shut my trap. 'I had out-patient surgery on my tushy.' Co-worker just laughed (man) and said he didn't want to know and walked out haha. Friends just said 'okay.' I thought, damn I'm worried about this for nothing. Just let people draw their own conclusions. Just remember to shut your trap as soon as you say it. Let them talk and don't answer any questions!" -- IVMama
10. I Can't Sit Down Because Our Office Chairs Suck
"Coworkers had asked me why I am 'dolled up' and I’ve said I went shopping on my vacation and found great deals and I'll be wearing dresses until the end of summer (which is not totally true - don’t have that many dresses). LOL I've been standing a lot too at work and just yesterday someone noticed. I just said the chair is uncomfortable I rather stand. That was it! An acquaintance of mine noticed right away when she saw me and I denied, denied, denied. I said I'm doing the BBL DVD workout with other workouts as well. I could tell she wasn’t 100 percent convinced, but who cares." -- HighHopes1
11. I Told The Truth -- I Have No Shame In My Game
"I told them the truth, heck they have seen how flat my a** is. Honestly, I have no shame in my game lol. Some may judge, but hey that's their personal problem not mine. MY PERSONAL PROBLEM WAS MY BOOTY & I CAN THANKFULLY AFFORD A NEW A** AND A NEW WARDROBE & A VICTORIA'S SECRET SHOPPING SPREE." -- Londa84
*Entries have been lightly edited, just for clarity's sake.