10 Creative Ways to Deduct Plastic Surgery on Your Tax Return
K. Mathews on 12 Apr 2012 at 1:30pm
With everybody’s favorite holiday, Tax Day, fast approaching, it’s time to think of some excuses for tax deductions. If professional stripper Cynthia Hess (aka Chesty Love) can write off her breast augmentation as a business expense, I figured I could think of some creative* ways to deduct your own cosmetic procedures on your tax forms.
10 Creative Ways to Deduct Plastic Surgery on Your Tax Return:
If the government is going to give tax credits to people for having children, it’s only fair for Uncle Sam to help fund your mommy makeover afterwards. Deduct it!
When the president declares a location a disaster area, residents receive tax relief from the IRS. Try to provoke President Obama into calling your face a “disaster” and – voila – consider your next facelift paid for.
Breast implants are definitely considered “dependents”, so after going in for an augmentation, be sure to add an extra two to your form.
On the other hand, having a breast reduction could be construed as “theft loss”, which qualifies for a tax deduction. Heck, if your surgeon wore a mask and used sharp tools to steal your breast tissue, you could even argue that it was armed robbery.
Now that Brazil is making plastic surgery tax deductible (no, really!), write off your Brazilian Butt Lift in order to conform with local tax customs. While you’re at it, you might as well deduct any Brazilian bikini waxes you’ve had, too.
Expenses incurred during a job search such as resume prep, employment agencies, and gas mileage are all deductible. I see no reason why some pre-interview Botox shouldn’t fall into that category as well.
For those who are already employed, out-of-pocket business expenses that your company doesn’t reimburse you for are also eligible for tax deductions. Include rhinoplasty as one such expense. I mean, they can’t call it a nosejob if it’s not considered work, right?
Since converting your home for energy-efficiency purposes entitles you to a tax credit, having gastric bypass surgery must count under the same provisions. After all, what’s more energy efficient than shrinking your stomach and subsequently eating less food?
With so many environmental tax breaks available, there’s no reason not to throw a fat transfer on your itemized list as well. Moving fat from one area of the body to another sure sounds like an elaborate recycling project.
If your motivation for getting any sort of plastic surgery is not for yourself, but only so that other people can benefit by being able to look at a more beautiful you, that selfless act seems like a “charitable donation” if I’ve ever heard one.
* By "creative", I mean fraudulent and illegal. Please do not try to put these on your tax forms.
(K. Mathews is not a certified accountant. Those who follow his tax advice are sure to be audited.)